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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24161287">Tabula Rasa</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_random/pseuds/some_random'>some_random</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Canon Universe, Character Study, Eventual Romance, Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, No Smut, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-War, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Temporary Amnesia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:48:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40,978</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24161287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_random/pseuds/some_random</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"The jutsu will seal everything a ninja has ever learnt. It'll be like him getting a blank slate," Tsunade folded her hands and leaned forward to rest her chin against her knuckles, "Tabula rasa."</p><p>In which, Sasuke's memories are temporarily wiped after the war as part of his incarceration.</p><p>Slow burn, friends to lovers, alternate ending, fix-it fic</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>139</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>559</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/froggy_baby/gifts">froggy_baby</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The urge to type this one out was real, this took me 2 hours to punch out the first chapter and post it. I will strive to post a new chapter at least once a week, there should be no more than 5 chapters total. Inspired by Emi's Residence of the Sun doujinshi, which I read years ago and just recently thought about... Sorry about any mistakes, this fic is currently un-beta'd</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>MASSIVE SHOUT OUT TO KING_FROGGY who has sooooooo incredibly kindly offered her personal time and effort read through and edit Tabula Rasa.<br/>Froggy's been incredibly supportive of this fic and provided so much insight and I feel like I want this fic to be as much hers as it is mine. I've never been able to talk to someone about fanfic and have someone to bounce ideas off of, so it's been an amazing journey to be able to do that. &lt;3</p><p>Thank you everyone for taking the time out of your day to read my work!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <b>
      <em>Tabula rasa </em>
    </b>
    <em>
      <span> (/ˈtæbjələ ˈrɑːsə, -zə, ˈreɪ-/ 'blank slate') is the theory that individuals are born without built-in mental content and that therefore all knowledge comes from experience or perception.</span>
    </em>
  </p>
  <hr/>
</blockquote><p>
  <span>"So the jutsu will seal everything a ninja has ever learned. It'll be like him getting a blank slate." Tsunade folded her hands and leaned forward to rest her chin against her knuckles, "Tabula rasa."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tabula-whadda?" Naruto frowned, the whole conversation made him uneasy. Was this really what Sasuke wanted?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tabula rasa," Kakashi commented, then smiled noncommittally. "Don't worry about that part. The idea is that he'll temporarily forget everything— taijutsu, ninjutsu, genjutsu, the people he trained with, fought against— all of it. He will essentially become a civilian for the duration of the council's decision-making process. It's the best compromise, there's no need to lock him up and there's no concern of him causing trouble."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uchiha also offered up his rinnegan for the duration of his… internment—" Tsunade rolled the word around her tongue, deeming it appropriate before continuing, "— Under the condition that you oversee the custody of the rinnegan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Which brings us to why you are here," Kakashi sighed. "Since you were the one who started this whole protest against traditional imprisonment."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade tsked and set her glare upon Naruto. "Well, it's been quite a headache for all of us, even for the Uchiha-brat. In fact, he came up with this solution himself to finally shut you up. It is not unusual for this jutsu to be used against certain prisoners in order to keep them more… manageable. Though publicly for… ethical reasons, the target of this jutsu under the custody of a government must give their consent. Not many people agree to have their powers stripped away; the jutsu is often used for more… politically charged reasons. It is not difficult to make a puppet out of someone who has their memories wiped. That being said, Uchiha Sasuke will still require a warden, in this case, more of a caretaker. Just in case, </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> the jutsu fails and his abilities return, or if he is targeted, and his powers are gone, you are the best candidate to babysit him. Plus, he did specifically request that his rinnegan be under your custody. I don't doubt that he knew you'd be his sitter either."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah," Naruto swallowed, trying to absorb all of this information. "Sasuke suggested this?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're the only one he trusts Naruto," Kakashi answered. "It's not the worst idea. You have to be prepared though, he will not remember anything, save the most basic motor skills and knowledge. He might retain some muscle memory, but he won't remember you, or Sakura, me— or anyone. He won't remember his life or anything he's done."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto flinched and let his gaze rest on the floorboards in front of him as he digested the situation. After a moment he raised his eyes to look at Kakashi and Tsunade in turn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that so?" He clenched his fist, "Maybe it's not so bad that he takes a break from it all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not quite." Tsunade held Naruto's gaze, "He won't remember this period of amnesia, he won't remember that he took a break. When the jutsu is eventually released, he will feel like he is waking up from a dream, and just like almost all dreams, it will be forgotten."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What a convenient jutsu," Naruto chuckled darkly. "Anything else I need to know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, because he is Uchiha Sasuke, the war criminal—" Naruto flashed Tsunade a sharp look. She sighed deeply before pushing forward, "—Who also ultimately aided in ending the war... We will have to relocate him, and by extension, you, to a more remote area. It's reasonable to assume that he has a target on his back. Only a limited number of people will be aware of this arrangement. Should you choose to accept this plan, everything is spelled out in the mission folder.” Tsunade’s eyes were a cool golden brown, calmly gazing into Naruto’s own. “Are you taking it on, Naruto?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was only one answer Naruto could give.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, of course. Not like there is a choice really, no-one else can take this on," Naruto grinned, his jaw a little too tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Naruto," Kakashi said, pushing himself off the wall and walking over to place a hand on his former student's shoulder. "It's just temporary. Besides, it'll be good for two amputees to help each other out getting reacquainted with daily life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s shoulders relaxed under Kakashi's reassuring touch and he nodded with resolve. "Yeah, it'll be fine. I want Sasuke to get a clean slate, and the damn council better vote to clear him. I'll do whatever it takes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sure you will, brat," Tsunade muttered and pushed forward a folder with one hand whilst the other pulled out a sake bottle and a cup as the meeting was now coming to an end. She waved a hand in dismissal. "Report to me once you finish reading. We can start his amnesiac house arrest then."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The first things he sensed when he awoke were birds. And warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a pleasant way to wake up, to birdsong and the sun's rays on his face. He felt light, at ease. He squinted as his eyes opened against the sun streaming through the windows, flickering between the leaves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was calming, looking out the window, into the cool, swaying forest beyond. He was in no hurry to move his gaze from the trees and the sun outside to inspect the plain room that he was in. The bed was comfortable enough, but when he shifted and raised himself to sit up, placing his weight on his left arm, he winced in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't have a left arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked at the bandaged stump, confused. When did he lose his arm?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had to have been recent, it was still tender.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Actually, now that he was awake and looking around, he wasn't even sure he knew where he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head perked up at the soft footsteps that gently padded toward his door; so it seemed he had sensitive ears...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, Sasuke." A blond-haired man poked his head in, the man's eyes were so blue and bright he took a glance out the window just to check a piece wasn't missing from the sky. The man continued, "You're awake. How are you feeling?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked at the stranger — was he a stranger? He didn't feel all that strange...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have really blue eyes," he said without thinking, and looked out the window again. "They're like the sky."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" The man scratched his cheek, squinted his eyes and pulled his lips to a tight line — he looked confused. "Man, that jutsu really did a number on you, huh Sasuke?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke?" He stared at the man and tried the name again, "Sasuke... Sasuke... Sa—, ah, that's me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, that's right, sorry, sorry." The man raised an arm in front of him and waved it apologetically, the sleeve of his other arm flapping emptily in tandem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fancy that, he was missing an arm too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, your name is Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke. I'm Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto. I'm your friend, I'd say I'm your best friend." The man grinned as he walked towards the bed and sat down. "We're going to be living together for a little while. Your memory got wiped, see... It's only temporary, so don't worry too much, I'll explain more in detail later. How are you feeling? Any pains or anything weird going on with your head?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke shook his head slowly, of course his memory got wiped. The gears in his head started spinning to piece things together. He supposed he should feel more panicked at this piece of information, yet he could not seem to muster up any reason to. He looked at the blond man —Naruto— and felt a wave of calm course through him. Strange. Soothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Other than the fact that I have no memory, which apparently is supposed to be what's happening, my head is fine." He looked at their bandaged stumps and raised his towards Naruto in question. "What happened to our arms?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good, good... about your head that is." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly with another grin. "About our arms... we kind of... blew them up. Mutually"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke stared at him, was he joking? How the hell do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>mutually </span>
  </em>
  <span>blow up your arms?! In a fight? Wait, weren't they—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You said we were best friends?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And we blew each other's arms off?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> does one blow up someone’s arm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhhhhhh... That's kinda why your memory got wiped. We got in a fight, and you were on the wrong side of it. I had to blow up your arm, or you were going to kill me. You kinda needed a break from yourself. So, uh, you asked to get your memory wiped. Oh yeah, you're a ninja, </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> a ninja? It doesn't matter, think of this as an extended vacation."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke stared dumbly at the blond. What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he just listen to? That wave of calm he felt earlier? Yeah, that just turned into a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>tsunami </span>
  </em>
  <span>of confusion of disbelief, rapidly descending on him and threatening to swallow him whole. That lack of reason to panic, pretty sure it just got thrown in his face. The gears in his head started spinning on hyper-drive. The only conclusion he could come to was that this dude claiming to be his best friend, had to be a total nutcase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to assess the situation from a logical standpoint, and list the facts that could be relied on. Okay so, he had definitely lost his memory. They had both lost their arms.  He was currently located in a quaint little building in the middle of a nice forest. Oh... oh! That made sense, they were probably at some sort of mental retreat. Since he lost his memory, this would be where he recovered. Obviously there’d be nutcases at a mental ward, so that would explain Naruto’s whole “ninja” thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And their arms... maybe a freak accident? That would also explain his memory loss. He probably knocked his head in the same accident. Maybe Naruto did too, and that's why he was coming up with these stories.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He eyed Naruto. He seemed harmless enough, but who knew what would set him off though. Better to play it safe with a nutcase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So... we're best friends and we blew each other's arms off with our ninja skills because I was trying to kill you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, it was pretty crazy." Naruto looked at him almost regretfully. "But that's all in the past you know! I mean, here we are, helping each other out with our recoveries and stuff."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh-huh," Sasuke nodded slowly. "Did you— did I, uh, hit you in the head when I blew your arm up with my ninja skills? Like, did I get you good, in the head?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" Naruto propped his chin between his thumb and index finger thoughtfully, "I mean, yeah, you threw some solid punches. My eye was busted for a while too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke nodded solemnly. So this guy </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> have his brains knocked loose too. Except instead of memory loss, he was making up some crazy shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, is there a doctor or a nurse here, you know, to help us out?" Sasuke asked, in what he hoped was a casual manner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh yeah, Tsunade-baba and Sakura-chan were supposed to come check in on you when you woke up." Naruto whistled, "Damn, you're still pretty sharp with no memories, huh. I'll send a shadow clone to get them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shadow clone?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if to answer his unspoken question, there was a sudden </span>
  <em>
    <span>pop</span>
  </em>
  <span> and a puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared, another Naruto stood in front of him. Wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>HOLY— </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose once more as she glared at the two boys sitting in front of her, refusing to look at each other. Instead, defiantly studying the walls in opposing directions like children. She felt her blood pulse across the top of her head as she surveyed the damage done to the room in the cabin once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Naru—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He started it, Tsunade-baba!" Naruto snapped, darting his eyes towards her before she even finished speaking his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Naruto, you idiot!" Sakura swiftly swatted with the back of Naruto's head as she finished her sentence, "We told you Sasuke-kun would need to absorb the news slowly, he has no memory of any of this!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wouldn't do that." Sasuke eyed the two skeptically, taking in Naruto's arm and stump raised in defense against Sakura. "Pretty sure his brain's been knocked loose already."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade and Sakura turned to stare at Sasuke, who simply shrugged. "What, I'm not wrong am I?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"TEME! You are the one with no memories, you have a hole in your brain. My brain is fine!" Naruto shot up and pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke, "Besides, who reacts to a shadow clone like that?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke offered no response and chose to examine a particularly interesting log that made up the wall instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade sighed and shoved Naruto back into his seat on the floor. She then eyed the Uchiha with curiosity. "If I wasn't physically here, I'd find this rather amusing. Tell me again, what happened exactly?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I filled him in, just a bit, like you said, Baa-chan. I was gonna wait for you and Sakura-chan to get here before laying everything out on the table, like you said." Naruto flashed a narrow side-eye toward Sasuke before he continued. "Sasuke was taking it all pretty well, he even asked for a doctor. Then I summoned a clone and was gonna get you, and he flipped out—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought he was a nutcase making up some crazy story about blowing our arms off. I’ll admit, I overreacted </span>
  <em>
    <span>a little</span>
  </em>
  <span> to the shadow-clone. Now that I know it's actually a real thing, it's no big deal." Sasuke crossed his arms and glared challengingly at Naruto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade studied the Uchiha coolly, a half smirk crossing her lips. There are certain attributes to his personality that are just too ingrained even for a memory seal to suppress. She had taken in the way those clever onyx eyes evaluated them stolidly as more and more pieces of information were offered up to him, not a single emotion out of check that would usually betray a normal man’s panic at having his memories erased. A part of her was convinced that Naruto’s presence was the only reason that cracked the stoicity in Sasuke. Leave it to Naruto to get straight into Sasuke’s nerves. Even then, the boy seemed to be carefully choosing the appropriate expressions to wear, as if choosing an armor to guard himself against the unfamiliar circumstances.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A little?" Sakura raised her eyebrow. She had arrived here with Tsunade after a panicked Naruto-clone bolted into the Hokage office yelling bloody murder. They had arrived to find the boys grappling and wrestling with each other on the floor like they were children; all the while yelling out their various degrees of pain when their amputated arms were rudely assaulted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Idiots, the both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was well within my rights.” Sasuke snapped. “Clearly, this guy here did a piss poor job of explaining the situation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What! You—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade gave Naruto a sharp look before he spoke up again in retaliation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke, how's your head feeling?" She decided to move on from this complete waste of her energy, and focus instead on the pertinent facts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine, I guess." Sasuke offered a shrug as he allowed Sakura to examine his eyes. "Other than the whole mentally drawing a blank situation, I feel pretty good.” He looked at the two women in the room, his eyes flashing intelligently. “Some further explanation would be appreciated."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade appraised his response in silence as Sakura moved away and nodded an all-clear after her examination was complete.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Uchiha-brat's mental faculties were strong. Few would take to waking up with an unexplained lapse in memory as well as he had. Which was surprising considering his last three years of mental derailment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Additionally, from what he and Naruto had recounted, Sasuke had been able to efficiently and logically process contextual and given information. Albeit he came to the wrong conclusion, it was the most rational one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade huffed through her nose as she smirked. Debriefing the Uchiha-brat was going to be easier than they had originally anticipated. What a pity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsunade had felt that this was an easy out for Uchiha Sasuke, compared to a few more weeks or months of imprisonment in a dank, dark cell. Of course she wouldn't quite admit this to her protege and potential successor, who was always too quick to forgive… But she did feel a slight, just very slight, sick satisfaction from being able to break the news to an amnesiac Uchiha that he was a war criminal currently awaiting trial on his ultimate fate. Of course the death penalty was on the table, but he did not need to know how nigh impossible that that will be the final sentence. It's the little things in life.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>"Make sure to use the ointment every morning and night on your arm. You might experience phantom limb pain, Naruto has the meds for that if you need those. Let us know if you feel out of sorts, especially if you have headaches and pain behind your eyes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakura looked on with concern and hesitated before she continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was the easy part, addressing the daily medical care. Tsunade had promptly left after she explained the reason for Sasuke's current predicament, and the conditions of house arrest in so few words. Sasuke had remained slumped at the dining table, his head bowed into his hand, still trying to process the information. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke-kun," She called him gently. "There are a few things you should know about your current condition as well, are you listening?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He responded with a slight shift of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"As Tsunade-sama said, Naruto will be here. There is nothing against asking him or me questions about your memories. However, due to the cause of your temporary amnesia, it is best if you don't delve too deep. There is a seal bound to your memories, suppressing them, and if you venture too close, fail safes will be activated and ultimately affect your brain. Generally speaking, these fail safes specifically target your particular set of skills acquired as an active ninja. So, try to avoid learning or remembering out of ordinary civilian motor skills, and don't access your chakra. Another thing you might like to know, because the seal only actively targets your brain, you do retain your muscle memory. Some things will kind of just come to you because your body already knows what to expect."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke gave no indication of acknowledgement even as Sakura's voice trailed off. She glanced worriedly at Naruto, who sat somberly across from Sasuke. Naruto offered her a sympathetic smile, the mood had turned sour real quick from the morning's shenanigans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oi, Sasuke, are you okay?" Naruto reached over and gave Sasuke's shoulder a small nudge. "Did you hear Sakura-chan?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The chair creaked along the wooden floor as Sasuke abruptly stood up. He looked silently between Naruto and Sakura, who were both appraising him with caution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guilt assaulted him like the force of an unseen arrow that struck bullseye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a traitor. He was a murderer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was going to need time alone to process this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I… need time to think." He murmured and prepared to run away from his— his teammates, whom he had betrayed. "Thank you, Sakura."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakura stared on, dumbstruck from the uncharacteristic display of vulnerability by Sasuke. She barely fumbled out a "welcome," before he disappeared into his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, he could have turned out worse." Naruto offered to the silent room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He- it's just… weird." Sakura turned toward Naruto. "I mean, of course I expected a patient with their memory sealed to be different before and after. I just didn't expect different how."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He looked...sorry, didn't he?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, he did..." she smiled mournfully. "You're right, it could have turned out worse."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Naruto turned toward the knocking on his door, where Sasuke stood, still sobering up from the news earlier in the morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke, what's up?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can you— tell me again how we lost our arms? I'll listen seriously this time." He offered up an apologetic shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure you want to hear this, so soon?" Naruto put the scroll in his hand down and walked over to the brooding Uchiha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's as good a time as any." Sasuke said with a defeated sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not going to break down. I'm a fucking war criminal…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That part had been easier to digest with three other people in the same room. The chances of all three of them being insane had to be slim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pfft, tell that to my shadow clone this mor—" Naruto stopped his snort mid-sentence, remembering that this was not his Sasuke, not all of it… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it seemed like Naruto had not needed to worry after all. It seemed like Sasuke still had his glaring down pat, memories or none. It was a damn vicious look. Naruto raised his arms in deferral.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, sorry. Yep, you made some seriously bad judgement calls. This is serious shit."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up, moron. Just help me figure out how deep I dug my own grave."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Teme, I'm not a moron!” Naruto snapped back with irritation. “Also, sure you fucked up, like really fucked up, but people are also alive because of you. The war ended because you fought for them. So quit your sulking."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, as the last word left his lips, Naruto’s features fell into a pensive look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Actually, what if I just showed you instead?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Showed me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, c'mon. Let's go."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>"We… did this?" Sasuke managed to force the words out of his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We did."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared solemnly at the destruction that was Valley of the End. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke swallowed, once. Then once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sight sobered him up to the news that he had just received.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a war criminal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dangerous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lethal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Waiting to be sentenced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We are monsters." Sasuke uttered to no one in particular.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Waiting, perhaps, for a certain death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto looked at Sasuke staring out into the valley, and emotions stirred within him as it did every time he heard that word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We are capable of being monsters, yes." Naruto lowered his eyes once more at the ruins by his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Sasuke finally turned his attention away from the debris and towards Naruto again, he released a mirthless breath of laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't blame them for wanting to put the death sentence on the table."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's not going to happen." Without missing a beat, Naruto's voice pierced through the open space, his eyes glinting like twin blades of blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This," he gestured to the ruins, "also means that we are capable of protecting the people we love. This also means that we were able to put an end to the war. This is where we brought you home, Sasuke. And we did not bring you home to die."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Panic ravaged Sasuke's mind. His thoughts scattered like straw huts in the path of an unrelenting hurricane. His brain honed in on a singular conviction, </span>
  <em>
    <span>"run."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the determined blond, drowned in those pools of blue as he clutched at his pounding chest. He looked away and tried to understand the waves of soothing warmth that rolled through his body, lulling him to closer, pushing him towards Naruto… all the while as the storm in his head screamed at him to run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beads of sweat broke out on his forehead as he struggled to make sense of his state of mind in such sudden and ferocious conflict against the aching longing in his chest. He glimpsed Naruto's face marred with concern before he doubled over and promptly emptied the contents of his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if distracted by his own sudden physiological reaction, his mind screeched to a halt and he distantly registered Naruto kneeling beside him, calling his name. He felt his body crumple against Naruto's, he heard his own breaths, deep and loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Damn it," he heard Naruto curse, "It was too soon. I shouldn't have brought you here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke spared a glance at Naruto's worried face. No, that was not it. He panted and focused on the ground and tried to keep his mind calm. The destruction of the valley floored him, of course. It put everything into perspective, but this tumultuous reaction, Sasuke was fairly certain that was not because they were playing with sealed memories. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe you're right," He lied, the wounded look on Naruto's face encouraged him to continue, "But I think I needed to see this. It's helping me process this a lot... better."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>"You feeling better?" Naruto looked up at Sasuke as he entered the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had made their way back to the cabin and Sasuke had promptly passed out on his bed, exhausted both mentally and physically by the day's events. He was effectively out cold through the entire night, not stirring even when Naruto tried to wake him for dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke grunted an affirmative and his stomach greeted them both to a good morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There's food in the kitchen, I just had some toast and eggs, made some extra for you too," Naruto offered with a chuckle, and caught himself before he made a remark at the flushed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>memory-less</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Uchiha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke glanced over at the kitchen counter where a plate of eggs sat by a bag of bread. He offered a small, grateful smile to the blond getting up from the couch, "Thanks, Naruto."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh-, um," Naruto stumbled, blinking at Sasuke's retreating back, "You're-, you're welcome."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke opened the fridge to inspect its contents and pulled out the orange juice-, well, he tried to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the stump that was his arm, reaching into the fridge. He had forgotten that his arm was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Happens to me too," Naruto had come up beside him, and opened a cupboard to grab a glass, "I forget sometimes, that it's not there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke nodded and reached for the juice with his right hand, "I was left-handed," he pushed the fridge door closed with his hip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Naruto held the carton in place as Sasuke opened the cap, "That was your dominant hand."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...But I know how to use both hands," Sasuke mumbled to himself as he poured a glass of orange juice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Comes with the job description," Naruto answered easily as he placed two slices of bread in the toaster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pretty convenient, for when you lose an arm," Sasuke nodded appreciatively and took a sip of his juice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Occupational hazard's backup plan," Naruto grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looked at the man who claimed to be his best friend, he radiated with a confidence that seemed to thrum like a magnetic force field of positive energy. He felt positive that he was being pulled towards it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He vaguely wondered how dangerous that pull was, if yesterday's events were any indication to his innate reaction towards the man. Yet, the blond did not seem to harbor any ill will, or suggest in any way that he was a danger to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at their missing arms, it felt as if it bonded them somehow in a twisted way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing," Sasuke shrugged as he looked away from the blinking Naruto, "It's just kind of reassuring, I guess, with the both of us not having an arm. It's a little messed up that I'm kind of glad you don't have an arm, but it's nice not to do this alone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ri-right," Naruto stuttered, frozen with a butter knife in his hand, he felt his heart twist in affirmation, "I'm glad too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Still, I'm sorry," Sasuke caught Naruto's eyes, "That I blew up your arm."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The toaster dinged and it snapped Naruto out of his daze because of this unfamiliar Sasuke. He nudged the opened drawer closed and shook his head, cutting into a sliver of butter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think," Naruto smiled contemplatively, as he spread the butter on the toast that Sasuke held in his hand, "We had to have our arms blown up... That's why, you shouldn't be sorry. I blew your arm up too. But we're not in this alone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke took a bite of his toast and looked down at the butter knife Naruto still held. He felt a sense of wonder, they didn't even need to communicate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto leaned back against the kitchen counter, he eyed Sasuke cautiously as the other man ate, as if uncertain to continue. "How's you're head? You weren't exactly an image of health yesterday."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Physically, I'm good," Sasuke finished his toast and washed it down with some orange juice, when he went to pick up the next slice of toast, Naruto reached for the butter, "Mentally... Work in progress. It helps to have seen what I was capable of. It also helps not knowing anything else and knowing that this not-knowing is temporary... It feels like everything is a little easier to accept..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had trailed off, placing his newly buttered toast back on the plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just wish... I could fix some of it, any of it...."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Naruto seemed to suddenly remember something and promptly left the kitchen, only to come back seconds later with an envelope in his hand. He offered it over to Sasuke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We didn't really get around it yesterday, with everything happening and all. You were allowed to write yourself a note before you memories got sealed, hopefully to help you cope with life, you know, with no memories. It's been cleared by Tsunade, so it's probably not going to be mind-blowing information, but it should be nice to know how you would have wanted to approach this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hm," Sasuke studied the envelope, wiped his hand and opened it. He damn well hoped so.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Trust Naruto. Stay calm, accept your current predicament.'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt his eyes narrow with suspicion. 'Trust Naruto,' it was too convenient, given what he had just been thinking about earlier. He measured the blond, who raised an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What does it say?" Naruto asked, frowning slightly at Sasuke's expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The raven did not answer, opting instead to re-read the note. He has not seen his own writing yet, but he was fairly certain the scrawl on the paper belonged to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, you don't have to tell me, bastard," Naruto waved a hand nonchalantly and turned to head towards the living room. "But you should know, if you want to fix it, then fix it. After you get your memories back. You'll have the rest of your life to make things right, as a ninja."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke locked eyes with blue so relentlessly bright, the hairs on arms stood as a chill ran down his spine. His stomach twisted and the air in his lungs thinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pull </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> dangerous, and his body knew. He clenched the note and repressed his urge to run away, </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust Naruto.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>In the following weeks he had spent with Naruto, he learnt a few things of himself, and of the blond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First, the man had an unwavering appetite for ramen; more irksomely, that appetite extended to instant ramen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Initially, Sasuke had just assumed that due to the state of their arms, and for pure convenience, they had been forced to rely on instant ramen for lunch and dinner. It was not until the fourth day of an instant ramen dinner after instant ramen lunch when he brought up a complaint against more instant ramen that he realized Naruto was perfectly content never eating anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was when he discovered their knack of rather colorful verbal assaults, specifically directed at each other. Amidst the barrage of their expressly </span>
  <em>
    <span>mature</span>
  </em>
  <span> forms of disagreement, he discovered that it brought him comfort. He had briefly wondered if they had fought so many battles and sustained one too many head injuries that they both got a kick out of their bickering. Because he knew Naruto enjoyed their spats if his shit-eating grin was any indication of how he felt when they had exhausted their arsenal of insults and felt no desire to carry on with their </span>
  <em>
    <span>expressly mature</span>
  </em>
  <span> disagreements.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oi," Sasuke idly addressed the blond from the door of his room. He watched Naruto with amusement as he achingly lifted his head from his desk, a pile of papers in front of him, and turned around slowly to face Sasuke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's the matter? Used your brain too much?" Sasuke snickered at the comically distressed look on the man's face that  disappeared into defiant irritation at his questioning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bastard!" Naruto began, but dropped his raised fist once he realized that that was basically the truth, the chunin exam materials </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> effectively frying his brain. He deflated with a glare and a pouted instead, "What do you want, asshole?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's go hunting," Sasuke said simply, bristling internally at his one up against the blond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Eh?" Naruto piqued up with interest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm tired of eating ramen, and berries. Also, I'm bored, let's go hunting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto narrowed his eyes at the man, and cast a side eye at his desk, a grin split across his face. "Alright, let's go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fishing was decidedly not Sasuke had in mind when he said "hunting," but given the blistering hot weather and the discovery of a river by an over-enthused blond, that was decidedly where their meal choice was headed, and that was acceptable given it wasn't ramen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You had enough fun yet?" Sasuke looked disinterestedly at the blond splashing about in the water from the comfortable shade he was sitting under.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't be a kill-joy, Sasuke!" Naruto beamed at him, a momentary look of realization crossed his face and a calculating smile took its place, "Hey, Sasuke, let me show you how to catch fish quick and easy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke raised a wary brow at the blond, clearly up to no good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could come up with no excuses for his state of being when he found himself in the water a little later, swimming and splashing about like a floundering idiot to lure the fish to jump out of the water as Naruto stood on the banks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto yelled in victory as he threw his kunai towards the fish breaking through the water's surface, nailing them against a trunk by the river bank. He chuckled indulgently at the deadpanned face Sasuke glared at him with, his eyes twitching with displeasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are we done here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not yet, not yet, I want to catch a few more for curing," Naruto sing-songed, "Go splash about some more."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke bore holes through the blond with his silent stare, Naruto had the decency to look away and scratch his face nervously. This situation is beginning to seem similar enough that it nagged at Sasuke's brain a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think it's your turn to lure the fish," Sasuke readily exited the river, still scrutinizing the increasingly nervous blond, "I'll try my luck catching them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know what, I think we're good for today, let's head back," Naruto chuckled nervously. With or without memory, Sasuke was </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>at staring you down as if you'd done something wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that Naruto has, he was just making Sasuke agitate the fish for easier catching. His usually coiffed hair now stupidly shapeless and flat against his head definitely had nothing to do with it. And he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>not getting back at Sasuke for making him do the same floundering years back during the chunin exam, definitely not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Also, I don't think you're allowed to use kunai or other weapons. It's not like you know how to use them, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke squinted at him, and shrugged with a smirk, "No-one has to know, or are you nervous getting shown up by a 'civilian', 'kill-joy'?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke grinned inwardly as Naruto took the bait. After all, how much harm could he do to a full-fledged ninja.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine. Here," Naruto handed him three kunai, he could use another dip in the water anyway, "I'll give you one try."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke balanced the weapon in his hand, as he suspected, just as it was when he trekked through the forest to gather berries and plants and discovered an innate understanding of the forest, a sense of familiarity teased through his muscles. He had learned that his athletic abilities were definitively inhuman. His stamina, strength and dexterity initially overwhelmed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flipped the kunai, and caught it easily. Oh yeah, he might not remember using this weapon, but his body definitely was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> acquainted with this weapon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go on," Sasuke smirked at his friend, "Splash about."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto gulped, more wary of the look on Sasuke's face than the sharp instrument in his hand. He climbed up a tree and took a leap towards a small school of fish, whooping on his way down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke focused on the startled animals, zeroed in on one about to break surface, and reflexively flung a kunai. It pierced the fish and shot it onto a patch of grass by the riverbank.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Satisfied with his proven skills, he ignored several other fish and turned his attention towards the blond with prankish amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oops," he remarked loudly and casually flicked his wrist, sending the sharp tool towards Naruto as he surfaced in the shallows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He snickered as the blond saw the projectile headed his way and stumbled onto his side with a yelp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh dear, I guess I'm just no good at this," Sasuke feigned distress as he sent the last kunai at the falling blond's foot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto spluttered as dodged, falling with his face squarely planted in the water, his ass sticking out in the air awkwardly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sasuke would have inherent muscle memory on the use of weaponry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Teme!!!" He cried as he shot out of the water, the rest of his insults caught in his throat as he watched the other teen belly laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You- you look like such an idiot!" Sasuke managed between his laughter, pointing at Naruto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That was dangerous!" Naruto snapped back in complaint, a weak retort given his talents, but it was all that he could do given the current situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the raven, his heart fluttering and momentarily overwhelmed with relief that he thought some of it would spill from his eyes. All he could think of was how thankful he was, seeing his best friend, just laughing, like he has never seen him before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto felt his own face split slowly into a grin as he bolted out of the water, catching the dark-haired teen in a headlock, "Screw you, asshole, I think we're done for today."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, hey," Sasuke jostled against Naruto and broke free from him, still grinning, "I knew what I was doing. Let's go hunting for real tomorrow. I want to see what else I can do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto felt a brief hesitation, then took in a grinning Sasuke, "Don't let Sakura-chan know, you don't want Tsunade-baba finding out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had come to the cabin with no possession other than the note he had written himself. They had not allowed anything else to be brought in by him, everything else, clothes, shoes, essential gear for the forest, all of that, the village had provided for him. Unsurprisingly, nothing would leave with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the coming days, Naruto observed Sasuke moving stealthily through the forest growth, fascinated by his lithe figure moving effortlessly through the trees, his movements precise and deadly even without his ability to perform as a ninja. He learnt that Sasuke enjoyed and hunted best alone, so he would keep close enough that he was able to keep an eye out on the raven, and far enough that his presence did not disturb the prey or the predator.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the fact that Tsunade probably would give them hell to pay for allowing Sasuke handle weapons or trekking through the forest alone, it has become a form of luxury in the mundane life of peace in their cabin in the woods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sakura-chan!" Naruto greeted her happily as she announced her arrival, walking over to help her with some bags.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakura visited the cabin every few days, to check in on Sasuke's condition, and often bringing additional supplies or treats from the village and spending some extra time just to chat with the boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sakura," Sasuke greeted pleasantly on his way into the kitchen from the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Naruto, Sasuke-kun," Sakura smiled at how at ease she felt coming to the cabin, "I brought dango today, we can eat it together later."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sakura, you're the best! I haven't had dango in ages," Naruto commented from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watched as the boys prepared tea, moving fluidly around each other, supplementing their missing hands to each other. She has only ever seen them act in such tandem during battle, it soothed her heart to see them carry that chemistry into uneventful everyday life, still working together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll leave you guys to it then," Naruto waved his hand as he headed out, giving privacy to Sasuke's check up. They'll have time to enjoy dango later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Any headaches?" Sakura began her routine questions, moving to check his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke learned that Sakura had a fascination with his eyes. He noticed her apprehension and caution every time she checked his eyes, as if expecting something to suddenly change. He wondered if that had anything to do with how his memories were sealed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He answered her questions and waited patiently as she examined his face and head, before finally moving to his healing stump, her own face serious and otherwise expressionless as she worked. Satisfied with what she observed, she continued with a list of standard questions on his daily life and motor functions, all of which he knew was going to be reported to Tsunade and scrutinized by the village security. He answered honestly, and left out the parts where he handled weapons and hunted alone. That can be Naruto's and his secret for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they were done with formalities, they had found Naruto cross-legged on the roof, silent and stationary, meditating. It had surprised them both when they first found him up there, his solemn figure quite jarring when they realized the usually vivacious blond was meditating and not asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had decided to leave the blond be as they brought the tea and dango outdoors, They sat under the awning by the side of the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke found that he enjoyed those days, where Naruto sat above them deep within himself and Sakura would tell him stories of their past in a quiet, nostalgic voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had also come to accept that monsters do come out at night. Despite how locked up his memories were, he discovered that ghosts cannot be contained. He sat frequently on his bed at night, awoken from nightmares he cannot recall. As he struggled to catch his breath, and looked out to a cloudless sky, all he ever seemed to see was a blood red moon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guilt hits him the hardest at night, it cripples him and paralyzes him. He wondered how many people he had seen dead and dying, he wondered how many of them were killed by him, he wondered if he was his own monster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he discovered that Naruto had his own monsters of the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had left the room to wash his face from another rude awakening. As he crossed the hallway, he stood glued to the floor in the shadows, caught in place by the figure in the living room. Slumped forward, head bowed, palm cradling his eyes, Naruto was crying. In the silence of the night, he could hear every breath wet with tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inherently, he knew Naruto was mourning, and it was a deep, unrelenting loss that only a man weathered by war would understand. And he forgot his own pain and ached instead for Naruto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned away from what he understood was a private moment, and hesitated. He wondered how it would have felt to have someone there for him when he woke from his nightmares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke's head snapped up at a standing Naruto, no tears in sight. For a moment he wondered if he saw wrong. Had he projected himself to the blond? He watched as Naruto's brows knitted into a gentle frown, his face otherwise composed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You alright Sasuke? Bad dream?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the blond making his way over to him. He could have sworn he was mistaken from what he thought he saw, if not for the overwhelming grief he felt that did not belong to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, you okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto was right in front of him now, and he could see that his eyes and the tip of his nose was red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke?" Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, and felt himself tugged gently towards the raven.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The warmth of Naruto's body stirred Sasuke out of his daze. His arm was wrapped around Naruto's torso, his palm spread against Naruto's back as he held him steadily against himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When had he pulled Naruto against himself?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It'll be okay," Sasuke heard his own voice say, and he felt Naruto's grip on his shoulder tighten, "I'm sorry, Naruto."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt how still Naruto became, he felt him lower his head and tuck his eyes into his neck, he felt the dampness of Naruto's tears as he cried silently. He felt his own heart ache with every beat, and he tightened his hold around the blond, and hoped to fight Naruto's monsters, to take his pain away instead.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They never brought up that night again. They don't talk about how the nights haunt them, they don't need to. They learned to share the pain instead.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When the nights came and the monsters with it, they would find themselves sitting together in the living room. Sometimes, Naruto would chatter away about the work his shadow clone did that day in the village, sometimes, they simply sat silently, both reading, or Naruto meditating as Sasuke dozed off beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, Sasuke wakes up on the couch with Naruto on a spare futon next to him, and not alone and sweating from an unknown nightmare. They don't talk about the fact that their lonely beds in their rooms become more and more abandoned. Not when they have managed to fight off their monsters together, even if it meant sleeping on the couch and the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke discovered that the pull that Naruto had, always filled him with a wary, nervous warmth that soothed and frightened him. He learned to control his desperate need to flee when he did feel that pull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't ask why he tried to kill the charismatic blond with the bluest eyes he's ever seen. He doesn't question that he is his best friend. Because despite all his internal turmoil against Naruto, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that this was the most peaceful he has ever felt in his life, and the questions weren't worth giving up that peace for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't think about the discomfort he feels and swallows anxiety that forces his heart to his throat when he looks down at Naruto still asleep on the futon as he wonders if it is warmer to be next to him, on the floor instead. He doesn't dwell on the memory of the steady warmth from Naruto's body when he had held him in his arms.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>In the weeks Naruto had spent with Sasuke, he learned of a whole new side of his friend, a less burdened side of Sasuke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He learned that he and Sasuke were capable of having conversations. A simple act of living that was so banal yet impossible to imagine before. Sasuke without memories was a more open Sasuke. In his still characteristic air of silent confidence, he was now someone who sought advice when he needed it, said 'thank you' and 'sorry' easily, he sought company when he felt lonely, even if it was just to sit next to Naruto and read silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sought for ways to make the world better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light in his eyes when Naruto would talk about his plans and desire to do just that was unmistakable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He learned this Sasuke had incredible mental fortitude, just like the Sasuke before he lost his memories. Except what drove him now was his desire for a chance to do better, and what drove him was so far from the hatred and anger he had once carried. All he wanted now was atonement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He learned what Sasuke's eyes looked like- dark, piercing, intelligent, and bright, without the shroud of darkness. Unmarred by the bloody warpath of the Sharingan or Rinnegan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He learned what Sasuke's laughter sounded like, unrestrained and clear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He learned this Sasuke loved to watch the sunrise and hummed quietly to himself when he did just that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the weeks that he lived with Sasuke, Naruto realized just how relieved he was, that Sasuke was still alive. That Sasuke is capable of so much more than the nightmares that ruled him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of him wished Sasuke stayed the same, unburdened, lighter, happier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he would be reminded that this Sasuke remembered nothing of their friendship, of their paths to this point together. He would remember everything Sasuke has achieved and how far he had taken himself to get to this point, all of his identity, wiped; and he would feel guilty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite all his relief for this </span>
  <em>
    <span>healthier</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sasuke, he would be lying if he said his heart twisted into something akin to hope when he saw him that night, that same night he had been woken up by the ghosts of Jiraiya, of Neji, of all the dead. He saw Sasuke's haunted face in the hallway, and he had silently hoped that the memories came back, because Sasuke would know his pain. Then, without his memories, this Sasuke lent his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he cried openly, his tears dampening Sasuke's shirt, he realized just how </span>
  <em>
    <span>grateful</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was that Sasuke was alive and </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his best friend, by his side again. He realized that he had been seeing two different Sasukes, as if the one without his memories, and the one with his painful histories were two different people. And that was simply untrue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He realized with overwhelming gratitude that all of what he had learned about Sasuke in the weeks without his memory, was so intricately intertwined with who Sasuke is as a person. He was overwhelmingly grateful that it meant Sasuke is able to be happier, lighter, unburdened. He was overwhelmingly grateful that Sasuke was his best friend, and that his best friend was home.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Sasuke rested his chin on his palm, his eyes automatically found the figure of Naruto, seemingly in a serious conversation with Shikamaru. The dark-haired man had come twice before in the three and a half weeks they had been living in the cabin, to discuss certain village matters with the blond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time the man had come, he had spared nothing more than a wary look towards Sasuke, and acknowledged his presence with a nod and a curt 'Sasuke.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, his demeanor towards Naruto indicated a sense of ease that only came with an intimate level of trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Sasuke had watched them deep in conversation back then, he had unconsciously come to an understanding that this man would sacrifice his life for Naruto... he probably had been prepared to have done so already. And despite his demeanor towards him, he suspected he would do the same for him, even if it was out of pure loyalty towards the blond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Shikamaru had been on his way out after that first meeting, Sasuke had unknowingly stopped him. He had felt the man analyze him with a scrutiny impossible to fathom from the nonchalant gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Uncertain as to why he stopped the man in the first place, he opened his mouth to bid goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," was what came out instead, and Sasuke felt it ring in his soul and knew he meant it even if he wasn't sure what he was thanking the man for, exactly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look of surprise was fleeting, Shikamaru had turned back on his way out with a lazy, well-meaning smirk on his face, an arm raised in goodbye as he acknowledged him with a short "Ah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke vaguely registered Sakura's animated chatter in front of him, and passively made noises in agreement when he thought necessary. Outside, Shikamaru was shaking his head as if in defeat to something Naruto said, and the blond had broken out in an airy laugh, slapping Shikamaru's back wholeheartedly. He felt a breath of a laugh escape himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, that aside, Sasuke-kun," he thought he heard Sakura address him, "Are you getting used to living with Naruto?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still with his eyes on the blond, all he felt was contentment. As if he became aware of Sasuke's thoughts and gaze, the blond had paused and turned to glance at Sasuke behind his shoulder. His smile softened as he caught Sasuke's eyes and he lingered there until Shikamaru spoke to catch his attention again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is enough," He was startled to hear himself mumble, and he turned to meet Sakura's confused green eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh? Enough?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um," Sasuke stumbled, running his words through his mind in an attempt to understand himself, "I said, living with Naruto is good enough. It's...enough."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakura studied Sasuke, his eyes always somehow managed to land on Naruto, even now looking towards Naruto as if he was the answer. She felt her heart sink with confirmation of the knowledge she had always held. Even when they were children, Sasuke always found his focus on Naruto. Even without his memories, all he looked at was Naruto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are content then," she smiled at him with acquiescent understanding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She met Sasuke's eyes and glided her gaze over to Naruto, bright and golden in the sun, "I'm glad, Sasuke-kun. Cherish your time together, with your precious person."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiya! Here's chapter 4!<br/>Last week when I was uploading chapter 3, something happened to my fic where all the chapters got deleted and got replaced with copies of chapter 3 and a draft of chapter 4. Unfortunately, the lovely comments were deleted too, trust me when I say the panic was real. However, I have read all the comments, I truly appreciate your feedback and am sorry to see those disappear :/</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasuke turned his gaze toward Sakura, startled. His heart was beating painfully against his chest, not in the way he had grown used to around Naruto. That Sakura said Naruto was precious to him did not surprise him. It only confirmed what he already knew, that blond best friend of his held a special place in his heart. But it brought him no comfort, guilt creeped through his being instead.</p><p>"Why then?" He finally asked.</p><p><em> 'Why did I try to kill him, if he is precious to me?' </em>He wanted to ask.</p><p>"Why does every cell in my body scream at me to run away from him? I remember how my body works, and I know it is remembering to stay away from him. Why? Even though I know he is good," he asked instead, he doesn't say just quite so that Naruto is good <em> for him. </em></p><p>Sakura felt shaken from the unexpectedly raw admission into Sasuke's intimate thoughts, suddenly cornered by his question. She glanced at his clenched fist, his jaw tight as his attention drifted back to Naruto. A small part of her contemplated telling him about his Sharingan, about Mangekyo Sharingan, about their fight all those years ago when they were just children. Having seen such a different Sasuke, she regretted that even now without his memories, he is still haunted by his past. But she swallowed her words, and gathered her thoughts.</p><p>"To protect him," she replied cautiously, she could not meet his eyes, "That's... probably why."</p><p>"To protect him?" Sasuke looked at Sakura fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat, “From myself... That's right. Can't kill him if I keep my distance."</p><p>Sakura started from his comment, "That's not it. That's not...what I meant... That's in the past."</p><p>"But it's true, just because I can't remember the past does not mean it is any less true."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun," Sakura felt distressed at the look on Sasuke's face, "It's not true. Believe me. I know you don't remember, and I can't tell you everything in your pasts, but that's not something you'll ever do again. You could never allow yourself to."</p><p>Sasuke gazed at Sakura's earnest face.</p><p>"In case you haven't noticed as well, Naruto will never let you fuck up again either. That's why, even if it is just for now, cherish your precious person."</p><p>They both turned as Naruto opened the door, his back to them as he called out a goodbye to Shikamaru.</p><p>"What?" He blinked and screwed his eyes quizzically at the two when he saw them, "You two look like you're in cahoots, what are you plotting?"</p><p>Sakura giggled casually as she stood up, "Nothing, just talking about how impossible it is you are with your ramen and how ridiculous it is that you actually meditate. I think I'll head out now, too. I can catch up with Shikamaru."</p><p>Sasuke bit back a chuckle as she got out of there before Naruto even finished sputtering at her back, thankful for her quick response. Naruto spun around and peered questioningly at Sasuke instead.</p><p>"What? It's true," Sasuke tossed a shrug and an easy smile at him, noticing that familiar flutter of his heart again when Naruto's face softened. He did that a lot, Sasuke didn't know why, but whatever pissed off look Naruto had on his face, always seemed to dissipate more and more quickly these days. Their usual squabbles don't seem to even get a chance to start since they started hanging out at night too.</p><p><em> To protect him, </em> Sasuke thought as Naruto chattered his way over to him. <em> Keeping my distance to protect him. </em></p><p>He watched the bright blue eyes of his friend now seated next to him. He was content.</p><p>This humble, isolated cabin that they've made warm and comfortable the last few weeks... it is enough. It is more than enough.</p><p>"Ah, more importantly," Naruto beamed at Sasuke, trailing off his casual banter, "Kakashi-sensei has officially taken over as the Sixth Hokage. It's good news, that will be a huge help to you now when the council discusses your case."</p><p>Sasuke blinked, Sakura had mentioned Kakashi. He felt the familiar tug of regret in his chest, another person who cared for him that he dragged through the mud. He looked down at his remaining hand and glanced at Naruto who continued with his idle chatter, a picture of joy next to him. Sasuke's fist closed with resolution. He will wash his hands clean of his mistakes the best that he can. He cannot change what he has done, but heaven permitting, he will spend the rest of his life fixing it.</p><hr/><p>Naruto's palm hit the table with a clear smack, startling the contentious group to silence.</p><p>"That's enough," he growled, "I've heard enough from the two of you."</p><p>"What?" Homura turned his head towards the blond, an air of silent reprimand about him as he evaluated the disrespectful interruption.</p><p>"Naruto," Tsunade stated simply in warning.</p><p>"I'm done, I've heard enough." Naruto shook his head and emphatically brought his fist down on the table again as he continued, "Who are you? No, what right do you have to keep pushing for Sasuke's death? Kakashi-sensei already made his intentions clear. No death sentence. Yet, you keep pushing and pushing. What do you even know about Sasuke?"</p><p>Kakashi eyed his former student levelly, completely expecting this outburst.</p><p>"Uchiha Sasuke is the most dangerous man known to the ninja world right now," Koharu began evenly as the teenager pinned her down with his glare, "You are not thinking logically for the safety of not only Konoha, but for the rest of any peoples or villages that may cross his path."</p><p>"Uzumaki Naruto," Homura's voice was flat and steady, "I give the boy credit for helping to end the war, just as the world is thankful that you have saved us all. I understand you have a friendship with Uchiha Sasuke, you were teammates, but aren't you trying too hard to save the boy? He is a very real threat-"</p><p>"Shut up!" Naruto snapped, "How dare you? His entire life, he was driven by the burden of some fucked up mistake you decided to make. He was broken, you left him on his own as a fucking child, broken. He knows the truth now and he<em> is </em> broken. Sasuke is not a threat. You made him a threat. The Sasuke now, he just wants to fix everything that is wrong with this world. Your decisions, not only with Sasuke, with me too, did you ever even stop to think how hard it would be for <em> children </em> to grow up under the circumstances your decisions forced upon them?"</p><p>A heavy silence fell as Naruto abruptly shot up by the end of his outburst, shaking in fury where he stood.</p><p>His eyes downcast, his voice still shook as he broke the silence in a more even tone, "There will be no discussion on the death penalty. There will be no death penalty. I am done listening to you."</p><p>Kakashi almost felt relieved when Naruto headed for the door, Homura and Koharu visibly on edge as the blond made his way out. Then he stopped.</p><p>Looking between Homura and Koharu, his eyes dangerously cold and hard as steel, Naruto closed, "If you insist on the death sentence, I will come visit you personally."</p><p>Koharu flinched, more shocked from the insolence than anything else, "Are you threatening our lives, Uzumaki Naruto?"</p><p>"No," Naruto's voice was husky, controlled, "All I said was I will visit you personally."</p><p>Kakashi sighed audibly at Naruto's exit in a puff of smoke, "Well, he's a spirited young man isn't he, Koharu-sama, Homura-sama?"</p><p>"You knew exactly that was going to happen right, Kakashi?" Homura gave a mirthless breath of laughter and smirked at the Rokudaime, "That's why you invited him to this meeting to do your dirty work."</p><p>"Well, well," Kakashi raised his hands and smiled in deference, unable to deny the man, "Did it work?"</p><p>Tsunade smirked to herself, of course Kakashi pulled this stunt, the old geezers made it their business to be persistent headaches. Looks like Kakashi will do just fine taking over.</p><p>Homura and Koharu eyed Kakashi in evident distaste and held their silence.</p><p>"In all seriousness," Kakashi set his hands down on the table in front of him. "He has a point. The motives that drove Sasuke to do what he did, and the reasons he was a threat, they no longer exist."</p><p>Kakashi paused, "Additionally, I am ready and willing to be held personally responsible for Sasuke if he is released."</p><p>For good measure, he threw in another suspenseful pause, "I hope you'll have a good think about it, Koharu-sama, Homura-sama."</p><hr/><p>"Damn it!"</p><p>Sasuke jumped as Naruto suddenly shot out of his seat at the kitchen where he had been studying. He was about to make fun of the blond's abilities with schooling when he caught the expression on his face.</p><p>"Naruto?"</p><p>Naruto looked over at Sasuke, his anger was palpable. His clone's memories from the meeting had just flooded back to him. Breathing deeply to calm down, he watched as Sasuke got up from the couch hesitantly and began to walk over. How <em> dare </em> they keep pushing to kill Sasuke.</p><p>"What happened? Are you okay?" Sasuke asked cautiously, worried as he held the man's gaze.</p><p>Naruto's face relaxed then scrunched back to a glare still directed at Sasuke before he looked down at his fingers, white from clutching at the kitchen table.</p><p>Sasuke paused a few steps in front of him, his heart dropped, he ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "Is it me? Did I do something?"</p><p>"Huh?" Naruto snapped his eyes back on Sasuke, "Wha- No. That's not it."</p><p>He watched Sasuke's chest rise and fall with a deep sigh, the raven offered a small relieved smile, "Oh, well, that's good."</p><p>Naruto felt his heart twist into something painful at his friend's response, and felt it fuel his anger.</p><p>"It's the council," He began, facing Sasuke, "It's about... your case. My shadow clone's memories just came back."</p><p>Sasuke felt a sinking feeling that amongst others, was not dissimilar to some sense of relief. Whatever came from the verdict, he had felt prepared to accept it as penance for his sins.</p><p>"I... definitely... will clear your name," Naruto muttered hoarsely, his hand balled into a fist by his side, clenched tightly in an attempt to stop its shaking.</p><p>Just like that, Sasuke felt his heart strings plucked and pulled towards the blond. Much like the first time, before he knew it, he had stepped right in front of Naruto, his arm around Naruto's neck and his hand in blond locks as he pulled him into a hug, letting the blond head rest on his shoulder.</p><p>Naruto blinked in surprise, his heart clenched in anguish. This was the second time they actually hugged. He sighed into Sasuke's shirt and reached up to grip his friend's shoulder, allowing himself to relax in the hold.</p><p>Both times, he needed that hug- a physical touch, something to ground him.</p><p>"Why?" Sasuke began tentatively, "Why do you go so far for me?"</p><p>The question evoked a sense of deja vu that washed through Naruto. He clutched the fabric by Sasuke's shoulder, feeling his friend's fingers firm against his scalp, a thumb stroking mindlessly back and forth every now and then.</p><p>"Because we're friends, because you are my best friend."</p><p>Sasuke held Naruto quietly, saying nothing for a few moments. A breath escaped his nose as he pulled back, a small smile on his lips.</p><p>"Is that so?" He gave Naruto's shoulder a squeeze, "I've got a very good friend, I'm thankful." </p><p>Naruto watched as Sasuke stepped back, away from him, he offered a smile in response and felt little joy. The meeting weighed heavy in his heart, which was already feeling emptier from the loss of a too-brief hug.</p><hr/><p>"Hey, Naruto," Sasuke spoke quietly and caught blond's attention, "What am I like? The me <em> with </em> my memories?"</p><p>They were laying on the roof of the cabin, the warmth of the summer night blanketing them. When he didn't receive an answer immediately, he turned to find soft blue eyes fixed on his own. Naruto's mellow gaze held him a moment longer and turned back to face the stars. A smile settled on his face, the smile a whole other shade of blue to his bright blue eyes.</p><p>"You were...<em> less </em>," He responded wistfully, "You were less happy, less talkative, less optimistic. You relied less on me, you didn't tell anyone what was on your mind. You were less nice to me, and Sakura, and everyone else. You were more lonely, more burdened, more pained..."</p><p>Sasuke stared at the side of Naruto's face as his voice trailed off, "Hn, he sounds like an asshole."</p><p>Naruto laughed, a hollow sound, "Yeah, a royal pain-in-the-butt asshole, for sure."</p><p>"Would you wish...that I stayed this way instead?"</p><p>Naruto frowned silently. He turned the question over in his brain before he looked at Sasuke, "Not really..."</p><p>He traced the lines of Sasuke face with his eyes, this happier, kinder Sasuke, and sighed. His heart danced uncomfortably in his chest until it lodged itself in his throat.</p><p>"You were also determined, and steadfastly committed to your own stupid stubbornness. You were a brilliant ninja, the best ninja there is. You were the most dependable comrade I've had, our teamwork on the battlefield is legendary, man." Naruto scrunched his eyebrows and continued, "You wanted the make things right in this world, but you were broken... and you lost your way. But we found you, Sasuke. You were my best friend. The you without your memories, the you <em> with </em> your memories, they make up all of Uchiha Sasuke."</p><p>Naruto grinned and looked at Sasuke, "You found me, too, when I was just a kid. You shared my pain. That was our bond... I can't just decide to give up on the you that is hurting. What kind of lousy best friend would I be if I did that. I promised to shoulder your burden and your pain with you. Just like you did for me."</p><p>As if suddenly struck with the intimacy of what was just said, Naruto flushed and scratched his cheek with his finger awkwardly.</p><p>"It's weird saying all of this out loud," he continued, "I mean, our bond or whatever, I've told you all that before. Still, it's a little weird, you know. I doubt that we'd have ever talked about this if you had your memories."</p><p>"Hn," Sasuke let the silence coast comfortably among them for some time, before he remarked regretfully, "It's a shame that I won't be able to remember any of this. I sound like a damn <em> treat </em> with my memories."</p><p>Naruto let out an easy chuckle, "You're a special one for sure. Definitely not one for the faint of heart, I'll say."</p><p>"It's kind of unnerving," Sasuke turned to lie on his side so he was facing Naruto, "I know you're talking about me, but even to myself, it's like hearing about a whole other person."</p><p>Naruto turned his head and caught his gaze, "Well, it kind of is like you're two different people in some ways. You're way more well adjusted, like, it's insane how sane you are. I don't know if anyone would hold out this well without their memories. Sometimes I have to remember you are the same person."</p><p>"You know... it kind of feels like, at the end of this... It feels like that will be the end of <em> me, </em> the me now... I think I <em> like </em> this me. I'm not saying I don't want to remember my life, I'm just pretty sure I was miserable. It would be nice if-, if <em> I </em> can be part of being Sasuke."</p><p>Naruto did not look away as he smiled reassuringly, "I think of it a little differently. I think you are living proof that you can be happier. It's just that this part of you is buried so deep under your past, we just have to help you dig it up."</p><p>Sasuke was fixated on those eyes, so full of determination. He huffed out a sudden jesting laugh, "Let's not forget about that death sentence first though, gotta get through that hurdle before reclaiming sulky Sasuke again."</p><p>The hottest flames are blue, and Sasuke was sure they must be as blinding as the blue that were piercing into him.</p><p>"They won't sentence you to death. I won't let them."</p><p>Sasuke welcomed that familiar rush of warmth spreading through his belly, making its way through his chest, his limbs, his fingertips. He allowed himself to close his eyes and bask in the flame that was Naruto. He had nothing to go on, no memories, no experiences in this particular short life that he can remember, and being there in that instant, he felt complete. He veins flooded with gratitude and contentment and a feeling of <em> home. </em> He swore he was floating.</p><p>It really was a shame he won't be able to remember any of this.</p><p>He wondered if he would continue to receive and accept this warmth so readily. His body had known what this felt like, yet it fought tooth and nail against it. He really was a miserable person before.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, he found that Naruto had shifted to lay facing him. The calm of a forest night brushed against their skin as they laid there silently, each quietly contemplating the other.</p><p>"Before I'm gone, Naruto," Sasuke began softly, "Since I probably won't be able to tell you then... Thank you, for being here, in my life... and for all that you do for me. I would be emptier without you."</p><p>The look in Sasuke’s eyes, it is as if it had sent a bolt of electricity to Naruto’s chest, exploding all around his body. Naruto knew what it was like to have all of Sasuke’s attention, knew what it was like to have Sasuke look at him as they fought each other, knew what it was like to be the only thing that Sasuke focused on… But not like this, not with the way these same brilliantly dark eyes are holding him now, gentle, warm, unwavering.</p><p>Sasuke felt his lips turn into a small smile as he watched Naruto's eyes widen.</p><p>"You really have such blue eyes," Sasuke stared, eternally fascinated, and brushed his fingertips against the tan skin under his eye as the blond gaped at him.</p><p>Just these moments, these simple, ordinary moments, that's enough.</p><p>Naruto was still gaping when Sasuke pushed himself up, at a loss for words for the first time since he could remember.</p><p>"Pretty strange for me to say these things?" Sasuke asked rhetorically as he brushed himself off. He gave Naruto a playful flick on the forehead, "Don't get used to it, you'll probably have a lot of digging to do when this is over. I'll see you in the morning."</p><p>"Y-yeah, night," Naruto's hand had shot up to his forehead, snapped out of his daze the moment Sasuke disappeared from his sight. The skin on his face still aflame where Sasuke had touched him. His blood pumped uncomfortably through his veins and he absently remembered that he had to breathe.</p><p>"Shit..." Naruto clutched at his shirt in front of his chest as he sat up, his head sunk over his knees as he tried to gather his run-amok thoughts.</p><p>"Shit," he muttered again, frozen.</p><p>How did he not realize this?</p><p>What was originally a promise and a personal mission became a blind obsession, habituated to a ceaseless and relentless chase after Sasuke. A chase whereupon with every spare breath he preached and yelled and clamored on about their bond and how important Sasuke was to him, enough so that he was ready to die with him.</p><p>Through it all, he had been blind to the essence of his insatiable need to bring Sasuke back.</p><p>He had been blind to his own love for Sasuke.</p><p>He had been blind to his own love until it looked him in the eye and thanked him for existing. Until he felt the fingertips on his skin and his only response was a desperate desire to <em> hold </em>him and keep those fingers on him and kiss him.</p><p>He did not know whether to laugh or to cry at his chest <em> twisting </em> with this realization.</p><p>He was fucking <em> in love </em>with one Uchiha Sasuke. Of course he was. He was an idiot.</p><hr/><p>Realizing that he was in love with Sasuke was one thing, living in close quarters with the recently discovered subject of your affections is an entirely different trial on his sanity.</p><p>In Naruto's mind, the whole situation would be much more palatable if either of them had been the opposite sex. Not that he wished Sasuke was a woman. Just that the added hurdle of a same sex crush was infinitely more nerve-racking for an inexperienced teenager to navigate.</p><p>Now, every touch seemed to jolt him five steps away, every action he took around Sasuke had to be thought about and thought about again. Every move Sasuke made was analyzed down to the smallest detail in the hopes of identifying any romantic opening. Heck, every damn thing Sasuke did was scrutinized painstakingly through a different lens - the way his lips parted when he panted after exercise, the drop of sweat that rolled down a pale neck across a delicate collar bone, the way he lounged across the couch, the shadows of his eyelashes in the deepening sunlight against a flawlessly pale cheek.</p><p>After prowling around the cabin for three days like a wild cat on edge trying to live with this new knowledge, Naruto was pretty sure he was barely grasping on to his sanity.</p><p>All that work (which really was none), and he had gained zero confidence in his standing as a potential romantic interest to Sasuke.</p><p>Naruto groaned loudly in his bed and hugged his pillow to himself, unable to sleep. It has been the fourth night in a row now, that he has laid awake, agonizing over his new found love. It was also the fourth night that they had not spent the night together in the living room, which was now the longest period that they had spent not together at night. Sasuke had been catching on to Naruto's odd behaviour, reacting with a raised eyebrow here and a confused frown there. If this continued, things are bound to reach a bursting point where Sasuke will surely call him out on it. </p><p>Naruto groaned again in frustration, flinging his blanket off and swinging his legs off the side of the bed. Might as well do something productive if he can't sleep, he thought as he headed out of his room, intending to delve deeper into scrolls detailing the Uzushio sealing arts.</p><p>A clatter from Sasuke's room brought him to a halt. He snapped over to face his bedroom door, fist raised, ready to knock. </p><p>Sasuke woke abruptly from his sleep, his arm knocking the books and clock off his bedside table in his panic from sitting up. Sweat beaded his forehead, his breath came in heavy pants. The air around him felt thick like water, drowning him in his own nightmare. </p><p>This time, he can recall... the stench of blood, pooling, thick, and still warm, and he was in the middle of it. He faintly remembered himself crying in his nightmare. He was suffocating, alone, abandoned, helpless, powerless.</p><p>"...-ke, Sasuke..."</p><p>Sasuke's eyes snapped to the figure that had appeared beside him, an unintentional yelp slipping through his lips as he lurched away from the figure. Then he saw the ocean blue eyes, concerned, calm, caring.</p><p>"N-Naruto," He mumbled absentmindedly, voice quivering. He allowed himself to lean forward slightly, away from the wall he had pressed himself against, and stared blankly in front of himself.</p><p>"Yeah, it's just me. It's just me," Naruto approached him cautiously, his lips pressed thin as he watched Sasuke shake, "I'm going to sit down next to you okay?"</p><p>He lowered himself carefully when Sasuke did not respond, reaching out gently to place his hand on the still shaking shoulder. In the month that they had spent together, this was the first time he has seen Sasuke awoken from a nightmare, his eyes devastatingly haunted, helplessly terrified. Naruto swallowed, his chest aching, when Sasuke had woken from a nightmare, he had always gone to the bathroom and washed his face before he appeared in front of Naruto. Sasuke always hid things well.</p><p>"Naruto," Sasuke breathed shakily, his eyes finding Naruto's again, "I'm not alone... right? It's so empty... it's cold..." The raven grasped at his chest, "How can it hurt so much?"</p><p>Naruto's eyes flickered something agonizing, and he hugged Sasuke for the third time, gripping him tight. For a while he just held him, unable to trust his own ability to talk, miserably hoping his embrace could mend Sasuke just a little.</p><p>"You are not alone," His whisper trembled with emotion when he finally found the strength of his voice, "I'm here. I'll always be here. So don't hide yourself. It hurts when you hurt, and if that takes away any of your pain, then I want to hurt more to take your pain away. I'm here, I'm here for you."</p><p>He felt Sasuke's arm reach behind him and rest on his back, the raven's shaking had subsided, but Naruto could still hear his breath quivering by his ear.</p><p>"You're really a good friend, heh," Sasuke breathed a shaky breath, a grateful mirthless laugh attached to that breath.</p><p>Naruto stiffened, "That's right... Sasuke, you asked why I go so far... I always thought it was because you were my good friend. I just want to protect you, I want to take all your pain away, I want to help you find your happiness and be part of it. Somewhere along the way, when I've been so convinced you were just a friend, you've become the most important person in my life. So, believe me when I say you're not alone, because you'll always have me."</p><p>It wasn't exactly the confession Naruto had wanted to give, not the clear admission of his love. But given the situation, that was the best he could do.</p><p>He felt the raven settle into a weary calm, felt for the first time Sasuke bury his face against his bare skin at his neck, and it burned him to his core.</p><p>"Stay here, with me," Sasuke mumbled tiredly, Naruto's skin sparked with heat at the sensation of Sasuke's lips brushing against him, "Just for tonight, just tonight."</p><p>Naruto's heart pounded deafeningly against his ears. He nodded silently, Sasuke's hair tickling his cheek. He gulped as he lowered them into the bed, ready to pull away when Sasuke clutched at his shirt and snuggled even closer to him.</p><p>Naruto blinked at the figure down beside him, this was the first time Sasuke had remotely acted like a child wanting to be coddled. His cheeks flushed red and his ears felt hot, unable to handle the intimacy. He replaced his arm around Sasuke and allowed the comfort of Sasuke's warmth lull him to his own slumber.</p><p>When Sasuke woke the next morning, he found himself warm and his limbs tangled with Naruto's. He stared at the sleeping blond's face, his heart racing as he remembered last night's whispers.</p><p>Sasuke's lips thinned, a dull throb in his chest. He reached out to run his fingertips across the tan cheeks, not dwelling on his ache for more than this simple touch.</p><p>Naruto groaned softly in his sleep and cracked open one groggy, brilliant blue eye. He caught Sasuke's even stare lazily and smiled, gently brushing his cheek against pale fingers as he closed his eyes and reached to clasp that hand with his own.</p><p>Sasuke's world screeched to a halt when Naruto turned his still sleepy head to place a kiss on the palm of his hand. He stared in shock, frozen in place, unsure of what to do next, of how to perceive this tender act of affection. A harsh shuddering breath had escaped him and Naruto's eyes opened abruptly, startled.</p><p>He watched as the blond glanced at their hands and come to a realization, snatching his tanned hand away as blue eyes looked on in panic. He watched Naruto's lips move as he tried to formulate an explanation or an apology. Then, Naruto was pulling away, guilty, afraid, and Sasuke reached out in a desperate plea for him to stay.</p><p>He placed his palm squarely on a whiskered cheek, the skin hot against his own, his chest and his mind for once a storm in sync. He brushed his thumb gently across soft sun-kissed skin.</p><p>And now it was the blond who stared on in shock, his heart thundering against his throat as he came to an understanding.</p><p>Sasuke watched as Naruto swallowed, his eyes two bright flames as a hand reached out to his face.</p><p>Naruto looked at Sasuke with something fierce, his fingers brushing against a pale cheek. He pressed forwards and his gaze shifted into something more tender. His eyes dropped to somewhere lower on Sasuke's face before they raised back up with a question. As if asking for permission. As if Sasuke would push him away.</p><p>And Sasuke pushed on forwards until their noses brushed.</p><p>Naruto caught his lips so gently Sasuke thought he could break. Then he pulled back and pressed back on with more conviction. He kissed him chastely, he kissed him softly, he kissed him again and again. He kissed him with a curious lightness, as he nipped, licked, and sucked gingerly on his lips.</p><p>When he pulled back once more, his eyes glittered in delight. Sasuke lost sight of what had become his sky for a moment when Naruto closed them and nuzzled his nose against Sasuke's with a sigh of contentment. He planted one more kiss as his hand found Sasuke's.</p><p>"I love you," Naruto whispered and intertwined their fingers.</p><p>A hot flash suddenly seared behind his right eye, his heart pounded loudly in his chest, he gripped onto Naruto's hand and blinked emphatically. When he opened his eyes again, only his heart pounded steadily against his ribs. Blue eyes opened questioningly and Sasuke tucked his hand behind Naruto's ear and pulled him in for another kiss.</p><p>It will never be enough.</p><p>"I've always loved you," he murmured against Naruto's lips.</p><hr/><p>Naruto pulled Sasuke closer to him on his lap as he leaned back onto the couch, his hand sneaked under Sasuke's shirt as he ran his fingers across the warm, soft skin. Sasuke's breath shuddered as he suckled on Naruto's bottom lip, his hand cradling Naruto's face. The raven coaxed their mouths open, slipping his tongue into the warm cavern.</p><p>They had been inexperienced, clumsy, hesitant in this new endeavor of theirs. But it didn't take much practice to learn a different, more physical duel with their mouths, and practice they did. Every opportunity either of them got, they stole kisses, and when you're in a cabin in the woods alone, there were many opportunities. As much as they enjoyed verbally getting a rise out of the other, this new form of battle was exponentially more thrilling.</p><p>Naruto moved his head back just for a moment to look at Sasuke's face. It had annoyed him how perfect it was when they were children, but now, with Sasuke in his arms...</p><p>The raven smiled softly at him and leaned forward to catch Naruto's lips with his again.</p><p>What an idiot Naruto had been. How many fights did they waste with their fists when they could have been doing <em> this </em>? God, he could do this forev-</p><p>Shikamaru cleared his throat...</p><p>Sasuke jumped off of Naruto and spun to face the new arrival. His pale face tinged red as he quickly walked away, mumbling a curt "bathroom" on his way out.</p><p>Shikamaru eyed Naruto lazily as the blond chirped a shaky, uncomfortable, "Yo, Shikamaru."</p><p>"Let's go talk outside," Shikamaru jerked his head to the forest.</p><p>Naruto fidgeted nervously as they walked silently to the porch, his brain on edge for the inevitable moment when Shikamaru would ask about what he just saw.</p><p>"Hokage-sama requested our presence for a meeting over at Wind Country," Shikamaru began as he took a seat, "We're headed out tomorrow morning, I'm here to debrief."</p><p>"Huh?" Naruto blinked, slightly caught off guard from the change in direction of a conversation he had been expecting, he felt himself ease into the debrief instead, "I have to go too?"</p><p>"Maa, you know how Kakashi is. He said it's best to leave Gaara to you, you guys work well together. More like he wants to hand off some workload to us two," Shikamaru muttered the latter before he continued, "He wants you to handle most Suna matters, you're Konoha's ambassador for Suna."</p><p>"Eh? This is the official ambassador appointment happening right now?" Naruto scratched his face, "Kaka-sensei sure likes to cut corners. So it's just us two?"</p><p>"Yeah. What a drag," Shikamaru sighs, "It's already enough trouble coming out here every week."</p><p>"What's not a drag for you," Naruto laughed easily, "It probably takes too much effort for you to eat. What about Sasuke? Are they sending ANBU to guard him?"</p><p>Naruto gulped as Shikamaru studied him, the elephant in the room now present once more.</p><p>Another breath of relief followed when Shikamaru chose to not address said elephant.</p><p>"Sakura will take your place for the duration. I only anticipate for us to be gone for about four days. I'll go over the meeting materials in detail when we travel but here's the core of it..."</p><p>When Shikamaru caught Naruto up twenty minutes later, the blond had completely moved on from the awkward scene Shikamaru had walked into earlier, blissfully distracted by matters of an allied ninja world.</p><p>"Yosh, I'm excited to stretch my legs again," Naruto spoke with conviction, "I haven't seen Gaara in ages, it'll be good to see how the villages in Fire and Wind Nation are doing too. Maybe we can lend a hand on our way."</p><p>"Yeah, it'll be useful to gather information for allocation and reallocation of resources. Anyway, I will come here with Sakura tomorrow morning, and we can head out from here."</p><p>"Roger that."</p><p>Shikamaru shifted as if he was about to get up to leave, then looked at Naruto from the side of his eye before sighing deeply.</p><p>"Ahh, this is troublesome. Usually I wouldn't care about what your business is with this type of thing, but I can't really say 'congratulations on your relationship' under these circumstances," Shikamaru brought a hand to his face, and Naruto visibly tensed.</p><p>With his friend still caught off guard, Shikamaru continued, "You're not the one with amnesia, did you forget the situation you're currently in? Sasuke has no memory. How did this even happen?"</p><p>Shikamaru sighed again, rubbing his face, "No, that's not what matters. How do you think Sasuke is going to react once his memories are restored? Correct me if I am wrong, but I doubt this is something you expect to be only temporary."</p><p>Naruto felt his jaw clench before he uttered, "I'm not taking advantage of Sasuke if that's what you were implying, it's not some temporary easy fling just because he's here without his memories."</p><p>Shikamaru looked at his friend, slightly taken aback, "That's not what I'm implying... I don't have any particular feelings towards Sasuke, the bond that connects us extends only so far as he is your friend and a Konoha ninja. What I'm saying is... All of this, he's not going to remember when the seal is broken. He might not feel the same once his memories are back. Are you prepared for that?"</p><p>Naruto turned to Shikamaru, momentarily touched by his friend's concern, a resolute smile crossed his face "His feelings, they didn't just appear because I was nice to him these last few weeks. Maybe he will forget this particular period of time when his memory seal is broken, but I know this is what Sasuke wants too. Sasuke now, he is free of the weight of his past, he doesn't remember that he has been hurt over and over again. He doesn't need to bury himself under all the burdens of his memory and shut himself away, but that doesn't mean he is a different person."</p><p>"Naruto, I understand that no-one gets Sasuke better than you, but this... this is a little-"</p><p>"Shikamaru," Naruto interrupted, "Thanks, but... Three years. I spent over three years chasing after him. I know that means something to him as well." A light laugh that could pass as a sigh escaped his lips, "Even if his memories were never sealed, I would have to face my own feelings. I can't turn back now, it's hopeless. "</p><p>Shikamaru grimaced at his friend's love struck face and flopped to lay on the porch, his eyes towards the sky.</p><p>There's no swaying the idiot once his mind was set on something, "How troublesome."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>@_@ the chapters just keep getting longer and longer...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! I updated the rating because I do think the content I have coming up is heavier than a T, There will be no smut, I don't really roll like that haha</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Knock knock," Naruto leaned against the door frame of Sasuke's room and smiled pleasantly at the reading teen turning around to face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke felt his heart flutter, and no internal resistance against it, the moment he laid eyes on the blond. He felt his own face heat up as he glanced behind Naruto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shikamaru left for the day, don't worry, he's not one to spread gossip." Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "I guess we were getting a little eager today, we barely got anything else done."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite his words, Naruto had already made his way over Sasuke, and leaned down to kiss the tip of a very red nose, then moved to catch Sasuke's lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should listen to yourself," Sasuke huffed, despite the fact that he himself was pulled deeper into Naruto's orbit already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, it's not like we have something we </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do anyway," Naruto managed to say between their kisses, hand in Sasuke's hair, seat in Sasuke's lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I suppose you're right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shikamaru came to debrief me on a mission, I'm being sent away tomorrow," Naruto said seriously when he finally managed to pull away with quite some effort, standing back on his own two feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, okay. What time are you heading out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto blinked stupidly at Sasuke, "Wha- that's it? Just what time I'm leaving?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, well, 'how long are you gone for' too, I guess," Sasuke brought his hand up to his chin, "So what time and how long?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bah-, Wha-, tomorrow morning and 4 days," Naruto pouted, "That's cold, Sasuke. You're breaking my heart."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" Sasuke let out a chuckle as he stood up, placing his hand on the blond's chest, "Why are you sulking? I figured you're not allowed to disclose the details of the mission."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, not that," Naruto's bottom lip jutted out, "I thought you'd be... well, not so cold like this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not a child, Naruto," Sasuke snorted, "It's only four days, did you think I was going to cry and ask you to stay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You could have at least entertained me a little," Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand and lamented, "Heartbroken, I say, heartbroken..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, I'll wait for you to come home safe," Sasuke leaned in against the blond, kissing under the blue eyes, "Is that entertainment enough for you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess that will do... cold bastard," the grin that spread across the tanned cheeks was uncontainable.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Sakura was intelligent. That was the first thing that Sasuke learned from living with her. Not that he did not think she was intelligent before, but their conversations have largely been shallow anecdotes on top of her routine examination of his mental and physical well-being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being under the same roof opened his eyes on the formidable young woman that had been in his original team.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was ashamed to admit that he had questioned her abilities when Naruto had told him she was the one sent to replace him for the duration of his mission. The kunoichi quickly proved him wrong, she made the most of her time in the forest and focused on her medical studies through the collection of wild plants found around them, often exhibiting her phenomenal strength and broad knowledge base as they spent their day hiking and gathering rare and common specimens alike.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Living with Sakura was easy, though he supposed that it was only four days that they lived together; and had it been a difficult four days, he supposed it really would bring to question their personal characters. Just like Naruto, she seemed to know when to give him his space and when to offer him her companionship. She knew when to offer idle conversation, and when her simple presence brought him comfort as his mind struggled to catch up with his state of being. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke would be lying if he said the meals were not significantly better with Sakura than with Naruto. She practically demanded him to accept her role as caretaker with an absolute no-nonsense attitude. It seemed to bring her joy, being able to help and take care of him. Sakura provided a steady calm to Sasuke that grounded him. He had grown to become fond of her as a friend and companion; which tiringly, only added to his own guilt of his past actions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That guilt continued to gnaw at him and keep him awake at night. To his own bemusement, and despite his haughty response to Naruto being away, he missed Naruto with an emptiness he could not quite comprehend. Where Sakura's calm was like a deeply rooted tree that provided him a gentle shade and a reliable trunk for him to rest against; Naruto was like a wind strong enough that it could send him reeling or soaring, and gentle enough that it could caress and cradle him. Naruto's very being filled him up like the air that filled his lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke missed him the most at night as he laid awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto had asked him rather persistently, and apologetically, whether he would be okay without him there after Sasuke had already expressed very little concern with the mission. He had suggested that he could leave a shadow clone behind, a suggestion that stemmed from his proclamation that he would always be there for Sasuke that night their relationship became something more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had found it rather insulting at first, considered it a personal attack to his pride almost, that Naruto would leave a clone behind just to babysit him. Then he'd look at the blond with such an endearing expression on his face that by the fourth time he was confronted with the same question as they laid to sleep, he gave in and marched into the blond's room. The raven then grabbed Naruto's pillow, marched back to Naruto's side in his own bed and held it snuggly to himself, with a curt </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'll sleep with your pillow, happy?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He certainly did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> blush or pout, and if Naruto said he was cute for it, then he was a blind fool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least Naruto stopped pestering him after that. And as unexpected as the hollowness he felt from not having Naruto around for only four days, he was still loath to admit that he was relieved to have Naruto's pillow, even now smelling of his shampoo, to sleep on for comfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since the morning of the fourth day, he had been walking laps around the cabin, dispersing his excited energy upon Naruto's scheduled return, before he decided that he was being ridiculous. With a dash of embarrassment and some frustration, he had made his way back inside, and opted to make better use of his time reading some of Sakura's medical journals instead. He was a page into his reading when the door flew open and carried in with it a windswept Naruto. Hand still on the door, and breath still catching up to him, he turned his head to find a startled Sasuke in the living room. His chest rose and fell heavily with each pant as he straightened up, a grin plastered on his tanned face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke," he chuckled huskily, "I'm home."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Welcome home," escaped his lips in a hushed sigh as he stared, and he thought he'd ran the whole way home with Naruto with how fast his heart was racing in his chest. He forgot to chide Naruto for startling him. "Welcome home," he repeated instead with a smile, because now it felt like home once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakura had then made herself available, and fussed over the blond, inquiring about their friends in Suna. Sasuke watched as Naruto shifted with an anxious excitement, chattering away at Sakura and casting his eyes towards Sasuke periodically. Sasuke made his way over to his friends and limited his desire to touch Naruto to a casual hand on his arm. The blond returned the gesture with a beam and left his hand resting on Sasuke's shoulder. The warmth of his palm soothed and filled the hollow that had come from his lack of presence just moments ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto stole a quick heart-fluttering kiss from Sasuke when their conversation ended and Sakura left to grab her bag from her room. A self-satisfied grin split across his face upon seeing the surprised expression on Sasuke after he pulled away just as swiftly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, I will see you boys again soon," Sakura announced as she slung her bag over her shoulder. "Naruto, walk me out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, sure thing," the brow raise was almost missable as Naruto followed behind his teammate out the door, giving Sasuke a wave. His jaw tightened as he considered his own nagging guilt and desire to come clean to Sakura since he realized his feelings for Sasuke were anything but platonic. He had not had a chance to speak to her since he only saw her in passing a day after he first acted on those feelings before he left for his mission to Suna.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sakura-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Naruto-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, Sakura-chan, you go first," Naruto let out an easy laugh as they paused in their steps, far enough away from the cabin, "You asked me to walk you out for a reason right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Sakura's eyes shifted uncertainly to her surroundings before meeting Naruto's squarely, "It's about Sasuke-kun. I think his memories are beginning to seep through. He said he remembered his first nightmare two nights before you left for Suna. He hasn't remembered anything the few days I've been here, and his description of the dream was very vague... If it was just that, I wouldn't be so worried."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is it?" Naruto coaxed gently when Sakura stopped to consider what she was about to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not a hundred percent sure, but it sounded like his Sharingan activated unknowingly at some point," Sakura searched Naruto's shocked face, it was news to the blond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wha- How? When?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The morning after the nightmare. He doesn't seem to recall 'activating' it per se, he said there was a flash and a sharp feeling behind his right eye that morning. I might be wrong but it sounds like it could be his Sharingan. Did something happen that provoked him? I didn't think you two were fighting, or at least enough for him to feel threatened to subconsciously activate his Sharingan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know... I never saw it..." Naruto stared at Sakura in disbelief, he had no idea that that had happened, and he was with Sasuke the whole day that day, from the moment they woke up and kissed...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh..." Naruto blinked emphatically, a theory formulating in his mind. The Sharingan is triggered by intense emotion, historically, usually, it appears when the user is in deep anger or turmoil. But, the other end of the spectrum was possible too right? He shook his head, he hadn't seen Sasuke's Sharingan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was with him the whole time," Naruto offered with a ruminative frown, "I didn't see the Sharingan at all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that so..." Sakura stared at the ground in thought for a moment before she looked back up at Naruto, "It could just be the seal trying to contain his memories. But anyway, I thought I should let you know so you can keep an eye on any changes." Sakura finished, then opened her mouth to say something more, but decided against it, and hoped Naruto would speak instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto could not remember the last time such an awkward air hung about them. He had never hesitated to tell her anything intimate or personal, his ceaseless declarations of love for her over the years was indisputable proof of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, the words he wanted to tell her now were stuck in his throat, reconsidered and recycled over and over again, because no words could encompass what he was feeling, and no words could spare her the pain that he was about to inflict upon her, the woman he has come to love as family. He supposed that was the burden to bear for falling in love with the same person his best friend has been in love with half her life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have seen this coming the moment Sakura had declared her 'love' for him and he had felt nothing but betrayal on Sasuke's behalf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sakura-chan," He finally began, he kept his eyes earnestly on her, that was the least she deserved, his full respect and regard for her. "About Sasuke... I actually have something to say too. About Sasuke... I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, but towards Sasuke, my feelings for him... I'm in lo-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Idiot," Sakura rapped her knuckles over Naruto's head hard enough that he had to stop and grumble in pain. Her chest ached and she knew what he was about to say, of course she knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard enough to watch Sasuke only ever look at Naruto, even when they were kids he was always looking out for Naruto. She had chalked that down to their childhood rivalry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Sasuke had come back, albeit to be locked up, it had become unerringly evident in her visits the first few weeks to the prison cell that Naruto had a place in his heart no-one else had. She watched him hurt and break over Naruto, and she chalked that up to their deeply rooted bond of brotherhood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Sasuke's memories got wiped, just so he could appease Naruto and be by his side. She had to watch him fall for Naruto. The fact that it wasn't Sasuke, not all of him anyway, made it easier for her to acknowledge it, and at the same time a little easier for her to deny it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Throughout all of that, she had selfishly clung on to the hope that Naruto, who had never truly experienced love as a child, would be blind to it... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn't ready to hear it from Naruto, not yet, not those words.  To be confronted with Naruto's truth is like to be confronted with a blazing fire, if you chose to deny it or ignore it, it will only burn you with its too bright flame. She wasn't ready to hear him, and she was sorry for it, but it cut too deep into an already bleeding wound.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't want to be left behind again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't take me for a fool, Naruto," She forced a smile on her face instead, "Of course I knew. All you two had eyes for were each other."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Eh?" Naruto blinked at the girl in front of him, standing strong, head held high, swallowing her own pain, and his heart sank. "Sakura-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember when you told me you loved me?" She interrupted again, "I knew already, you didn't love me, not in that way. You thought you loved me because I loved Sasuke, because he was your rival, and you wanted him to notice you. Even back then, I suspected you would figure out your love for me was not the love that you meant..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sakura-chan..." he watched her turn her gaze down, then to the side, and look anywhere but at him, "I'm sorry..." He wanted to hug her, but he felt that perhaps that would be a cheap gesture of comfort that would only add insult to injury. So he stood there, awkwardly, waiting for her to speak again, because there was nothing he could say or do to lessen the blow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, she closed the distance between them and hugged him instead, squeezing him tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you talking about, sorry for what? You dummy," She clutched onto him, keeping herself together, unleashing her turmoil in her tight embrace, "Just be happy, ne?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto choked out a "Hn," as he raised his arm to hold her against himself. They stayed silently holding onto each other, until Sakura pushed herself away, another smile plastered on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't be weird about it. I'll see you in a couple of days. Later then, Naruto."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed as he watched her back, even in heartbreak, she held herself with strength, and turned to slowly make his way back to the cabin.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"You're back," Sasuke stood and made his way over to the entrance, blinking in confusion at the way Naruto stumbled heavily into his arms with a sigh. "What's wrong?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto buried his face in the crook of Sasuke's neck, shaking his head and producing some noises from his mouth that indicated nothing was wrong, "It's nice, to come home to you... and to be able to do this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were only gone for four days," Sasuke deadpanned, "Quit acting like a child."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nope," Naruto shook his head again with more vigor, wrapping his arm around Sasuke and lamenting that he only had one arm. He held him tight, "Not when I got sent away only a day after I figured out I was allowed to do this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're an idiot," Sasuke mumbled into a head of blond locks, a soft smile coloring his tone nonetheless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up," Naruto nudged his nose against Sasuke's neck affectionately, "I missed you, teme."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>"Oh, Naruto," Kakashi greeted the shadow clone that just entered his office, "Good timing, I was just about to send for you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah? I was just dropping off my part of the mission report for Suna. What's going on? I thought Shikamaru did most of the debrief already when we got back two days ago," Naruto placed the papers he had been holding in front of Kakashi and settled his weight on one leg in front of the Hokage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's about Sasuke actually, we'll need to take him back in to remove his seal. Sakura reported that there is a chance his memories are leaking, and since he is still technically a criminal and a prisoner, we can't risk him being not contained if and when his memories come back fully."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi eyed his former student tensing up in front of him, his shoulders squared, jaw locked, eyes sharp and ready to give him a piece of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Relax Naruto, the council has reached a decision, death is off the table. We will remove the memory seal, hold him in his cell for ten more days for observation, and the council will convene for his sentencing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ten days? In the cell?" Naruto's form became visibly subdued, but narrowed his eyes at the silver-haired man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't argue with me Naruto, Sasuke can handle ten more days behind bars, no need to baby him," Kakashi met Naruto's eyes squarely, "He will be freed. We've pushed far enough, Naruto. Just ten days."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Freed?" Naruto blinked, the word rushed through him like a breeze, carrying away his volley of protests from his original displeasure of hearing Sasuke being incarcerated again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Freed." Kakashi repeated with a smile, "So please, leave me alone. You can inform Sasuke of his departure from house arrest. We will arrange the seal removal in three days."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto responded by throwing himself across the desk and tackling his former teacher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Kakashi vaguely wondered if the ANBU had deteriorated to such a level that they could not stop a blond teenager from glomping him in his own damn office.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Naruto was perfectly content, happy as he was every other night that he had held Sasuke in his arms, languidly kissing him. But tonight was different, if it felt as if they were on the precipice of falling into a great unknown, that would be because it is true. Tomorrow, they will head back to the village, they will break the seal on Sasuke's memories, and they will hold him one more week before they pass judgement. Then he can have Sasuke, freely, unquestioningly, completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The reality of it scared and excited Naruto, having Sasuke back, with all their history behind them, with all the knowledge of the depth of their friendship and their bond to each other; and losing this Sasuke... Naruto wasn't an idiot, he knew he would not be able to jump right back into this level of intimacy, physical or otherwise, once the memories come back. He knew it would be an uphill battle to break down the walls Sasuke had so carefully, so resolutely built up to keep everyone out. He knew he would have to chase Sasuke all over again, but this time, he will have to chase through the desolation of Sasuke's tumultuous past to find any semblance of the Sasuke in his arms right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So for now, he holds him tighter, he presses his lips against Sasuke's with more insistence. For now, he reveled in the reassuring weight and warmth of the person he loved the most, so tangibly secure in his personal space. But he was happy, because he cannot wait to have all of Sasuke back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke, on the other hand, suddenly felt as if he was already falling off that precipice. He clutched at Naruto with a desperation that could only be brought about from the fear of imminent loss. He decidedly threw his leg over Naruto's torso, and he straddled the blond, holding him down and leaning forwards to recapture his lips as his hand seemed to scramble frantically across the warm, taut body below him. He rolled his hips against Naruto and called attention to his wild panic for all the reasons other than a pure desire to be intimate with the one he loved. It drew a startled gasp from the blond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as they spent their days kissing and holding each other, the basis of it had never turned carnal. They trod gently into their new relationship, they cherished and were satiated by each other's simple companionship, grounded by the intimacy of their bond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, they were each other's refuge. Because when you were barely recognized an adult, yet have lived enough to fill so many lifetimes, the solace and reassurance found simply in the weight and body warmth from holding your precious person was enough to soothe a healing soul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sasuke," Naruto panted, gripping onto the raven's shoulder and firmly guiding the tenacious teen to sit up away from himself, "Stop."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't want to?" Sasuke looked down into Naruto's hooded eyes, very much dilated that there was more black than blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's not it," Naruto answered breathily, he shifted his hand to cup Sasuke's cheek and tried to rub away the desperate dread so expressively, and unusually, etched across his perfect pale face, "What's wrong?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke closed his eyes, leaned into the hand and sighed. He let the silence drag out for as long as he believed Naruto would allow before he looked down at the blond again, a soft frown still between his brows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is our last night."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was so quiet Naruto barely caught the words, and his eyes widened when they did register in his brain. He pushed himself to sit up, his hand gripping on to Sasuke's hip so he remained on his lap when he adjusted to a comfortable seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You think this is going to end."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not a question. And Sasuke did not answer, he only held his gaze, defiant, resolved, hurt, and always brilliantly blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You've got to be kidding me," Naruto started, his grip on Sasuke tightening, "I really hope you don't think that I'm just doing this because you're-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not you," Sasuke snapped, still not looking away, "Me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Naruto who did not answer this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think I'll allow myself this close to you when my memories are back," Sasuke offered, feeling helpless with himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's just, I know that's how it was. I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, even from the first day here. I can feel myself wanting to pull away from you, I can feel myself fighting against you even though I know I don't want to," Sasuke paused, he doesn't say, </span>
  <em>
    <span>'And sometimes I wonder if it is the right thing to do. To protect you, from me.' </span>
  </em>
  <span>"If that is how it is, then I want you, I want to have all of you tonight." He said, instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke saw a flicker in Naruto's eyes, troubled, afraid. Then they are closed, and Naruto shook his head and buried his face in the crook of Sasuke's neck, hugging him tightly. When he pulled back, he pinned his unyielding gaze on Sasuke, and the raven felt his heart sink for what was going to come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," he stroked Sasuke's cheek, brushed his thumb across his lips, "You can't have all of me tonight. I will never let you forget the first time we..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke watched as Naruto's voice faltered, his face flushing red, and his shoulders shrinking at the implication. Yet his eyes were as steady and unshakable as ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doubted anyone else had been able to make his heart race and his soul fill with disappointment at the same time. It agitated him to his core.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you being-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto had pressed forward to catch the rest of the sentence with his lips with such force that Sasuke could only swallow the rest of that protest he was about to start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want all of you too," Naruto declared when he finally pulled back, blushing furiously, "And I don't mean I want all your body. I want you when you have your memories, I want you when you can remember us. I just... I haven't even thought about... I'm so happy just to have you by my side. So you better believe it when I say I will do my darndest to- to pursue you when you get your memories back. And you damned well better believe that you will never forget the first time we-..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have sex?" Sasuke offered gently to the flustered teen. He felt himself relax, he felt his heart beat loudly but steadily in its rib-cage, he felt himself ease into the ridiculous expression on Naruto's face. He believed him, alright.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah, that," Naruto mumbled awkwardly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe you should learn how to say it without breaking apart first," Sasuke smirked, "I didn't mean to jump the gun on such an inexperienced...virgin."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Teme!" Naruto snapped, his face blindingly red as he blubbered and blundered on with unintelligible insults, "That's not even the point!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke laughed as he shut the blond up with his lips, "Idiot."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It'll be alright, he just had to trust Naruto.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not going to lie, I struggled so hard with this particular chapter. It was difficult for me to develop Naruto and Sasuke's relationship at their current state, so I struggled with the pace and content. And because I was not really happy with what I was providing, it took much longer for me to write, edit, and actually rewrite... (depending on where I am taking the story, I will likely come back and re-edit this chapter again) I would absolutely appreciate any comments and input.</p><p>Other than that, I'm excited to explore the different dynamic between Naruto and Sasuke post incarceration and post memory seal!</p><p>Thank you everyone for your support, and I'm excited and geared up for how the story will develop!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you... scared?" Naruto murmured as they made their way through the halls to Kakashi's office, four ANBU tailing them since they left cabin.</p><p>Sasuke flicked his eyes towards Naruto without turning his head, <em>just of losing you,</em> he made a noise at the back of his throat and offered a smirk, "No. It's time to fix things, right? Just like you said."</p><p>"Yeah," Naruto smiled and gave Sasuke's shoulder a squeeze before they entered the room, "Just like I said."</p><hr/><p>They allow Naruto to stay and see him, in a medical ward in the prison, after Sakura and Tsunade had left after they released his seal. Naruto still had Sasuke's rinnegan in his possession, they will allow Naruto to return it to him after his release.</p><p>There are ANBU standing guard outside Sasuke's room, of course there are, and they will transport Sasuke to his cell when he wakes. Naruto touches Sasuke's face tenderly, he looks so peaceful, and pulls his hand back so as to not wake him up, to keep that peace. He sighs and gets up from his seat, pacing the room anxiously, his mind a jumble of nerves. He doesn't know how to proceed exactly, or what to anticipate. All he knows is that he wants Sasuke to be okay, he wants to see him smile and laugh again, he wants to hear him say his name and sit next to him and say nothing at all, he wants Sasuke to know how much he loves him... And Naruto is flooded by a heat that pulses through him, he pauses in his step and he can't help the smile that tugs at his face. <em>Gods, </em>he loves Sasuke. The thought of being able to say it out loud to a fully cognizant Sasuke sends a thrill down his spine.</p><p>Beside him, he hears blankets shifting and a small groan. Naruto spins around and sees Sasuke sitting up, hand across his face.</p><p>"Sasu-" Naruto begins excitedly, but his smile falls as he meets Sasuke's eyes, hard, guarded, and coldly acquainted with his past, "...ke." He lets the rest of his name trail off his lips, as the raven regards him expressionlessly, the pale face a perfect mask of indifference, he forces a smile back on his face.</p><p>"Hn," Sasuke offers in greeting, a hint of a question thrown in the form of a slightly raised brow at Naruto's demeanor.</p><p>"I'm glad, you're awake," Naruto chuckles almost nervously, he scans Sasuke's face, desperately hoping, yearning to see any evidence of that happier Sasuke. He is suddenly struck with the urge to hold on to Sasuke, as if it was his last chance to do so. He hopes it doesn't show just how much he wants to close the distance and touch the man.</p><p>"You look weird," Sasuke grunts casually, averting his obsidian eyes and staring at the bedspread instead, "Don't look at me like that."</p><p>He doesn't see how it deflates Naruto.</p><p>It hurts more than Naruto had anticipated, and he had prepared for the heartache to come from the transition. He knew the uphill battle that was to come from having to find Sasuke all over again. But he feels himself choke on it, the ache. He feels his heart inexorably hit the floor and he is abruptly swept away by the distance that has come between them. He feels like he is looking at Sasuke from across an ocean, and not just a few steps across a room.</p><p>"Teme," He manages with his fist clenched, relieved that he doesn't sound as broken as he feels, "I'm just glad you're alive, bastard."</p><p>Sasuke doesn't answer immediately, he shifts his unreadable gaze back to Naruto and studies him quietly instead. After what seems like an eternity, he lowers his gaze to Naruto's missing arm. Eyes still transfixed at the non-existent limb, Sasuke turns his head away slightly.</p><p>Every moment of silence claws miserably at Naruto, too internally distraught to be sure of what to say himself.</p><p>"Thanks, Naruto," Sasuke mumbles so quietly that Naruto almost misses it.</p><p>And that alone gives something for Naruto to cling on to.</p><p>It throws at Naruto memories of a smiling Sasuke where those words slip easily from his lips. It throws at Naruto the past few weeks of a Sasuke without his impenetrable armor and ironclad emotional control.</p><p>"Always," Naruto waits for Sasuke to look at him, and the tired eyes fuel him with resolve, "I'll always be there for you."</p><p>Naruto doesn't have long before the ANBU come in and announce that Sasuke will be transported to his cell. He watches as Sasuke allows them to put on the sealed blindfold across his eyes, as Sasuke allows his arm to be cuffed behind his back to a buckle in his prison garb. Naruto's heart cries injustice at the way Sasuke allows himself to be treated and he has to remind himself that it is only ten days, and Sasuke will be free. At least they won't bind his arms and legs like they did last time.</p><p>By the time they reach his cell, Kakashi was already there, waiting for them. He passes Sasuke his sentence. Sasuke jerks his head up in surprise, and that is the only response he gives to the news of his release in ten days.</p><p>"Dobe," Sasuke calls out after everyone has left, there is more energy in his voice than when he had just woken up, "Didn't know you could keep quiet for so long."</p><p>Naruto feels his cheeks getting warm and there is a comforting tug in his chest at the familiar smirk on Sasuke's lips, "Shut up, asshole."</p><p>"You should go home now," Sasuke says without bite.</p><p>"Tch, giving me the boot already, typical," Naruto returns mildly, and he pauses before he continues, "I just... don't want a repeat of what happened last time you were locked up."</p><p>Sasuke shifts his head slowly towards Naruto's direction, he lets the silence coast before his lips pull into a barely there smile, "It won't happen again."</p><p>"How can I be sure?"</p><p>"I have no reason to do so. I'll be free, won't I?" Sasuke replies easily, turning his head back to the front, blindly facing the wall once more, "It's only ten days."</p><p>"You promise?"</p><p>"Sure. I promise."</p><p>"Good, cause I swear I'll kick your ass if you eat your words."</p><p>Sasuke huffs without malice, "Eager to lose your other arm already?"</p><p>The casual banter pulls at the corner of Naruto's lips, bringing forth a lopsided smile, a mild ache hammering against his chest at the familiarity, "Asshole."</p><p>"Go home Naruto," Sasuke repeats calmly, "There's nothing for you here."</p><p><em>Everything is here for me, </em>Naruto thinks as he feels his heart rise to his throat, pressure building behind his nose and his eyes. <em>You're here.</em></p><p>"I'll come see you again tomorrow," Naruto says instead.</p><p>"I can't stop you," Sasuke snorts.</p><p>"Not without losing your only arm," Naruto counters casually, and turns to leave, "I'll be back, Sasuke."</p><hr/><p>When Sasuke is released, he is informed by Kakashi that he will have to live with him temporarily, as Kakashi is directly responsible for anything that Sasuke does. Of course, Sasuke knows that it is also easier for Kakashi, the ANBU and the council to keep an eye out on him, to continue observing him. But it is a reasonable demand that Sasuke easily acquiesces to.</p><p>Kakashi had mentioned that Sasuke's rinnegan will be returned to him in due time. It amuses Sasuke, <em>in due time,</em> perhaps when the council no longer deems him an apocalyptic threat. But he doesn't fight that either, because he knows Naruto is the one holding onto it.</p><p>Naruto had come to see him everyday in the last ten days of his incarceration. Everyday, Sasuke feels himself wanting to pull closer and closer to the blond, it sends his insides to turmoil as he continues to struggle to keep the fool away at arms length.</p><p>Naruto had told him bits and pieces of their weeks together in the cabin. Sasuke listens to the way Naruto describes himself without his memories, and he lets more and more distance slip into every interaction with Naruto to push further away the gap his amnesiac self had apparently began to close.</p><p>By the end of ten days, he can hear the frustration in Naruto's voice, feel the tension about him even as he stubbornly continues to show up. It drains Sasuke mentally, to have nowhere to run from his too stifling presence, and his release from prison was an altogether different form of relief from Naruto.</p><p>Sasuke keeps himself busy, and Kakashi uses his knowledge as a rogue to Konoha's utmost advantage.</p><p>Sasuke keeps himself scarce from Naruto.</p><p>Instead, he spends most of his days if not with Kakashi, then with Shikamaru, putting their heads together and devising aid and rebuilding strategies across the Fire Nation. The fact that he is helping Konoha still unsettles him, but he wants to make amends, he wants to do something so that this world doesn't do to children what it did to Naruto, to himself.</p><p>The companionship that forms between Sasuke and Shikamaru is easy, they fall somewhere between friends and acquaintances, their conversations professionally blunt and personally unobtrusive. Sasuke grows to appreciate and respect the man's intelligence. He is distinctly aware of the fact that his is wary of the Nara clan head. Even though he doesn't consider Shikamaru close to being a physical threat, he is very much conscious of the power the man can hold if he whispers his thoughts into the ears of a powerful leader. Privately, he is thankful that the man is steadfastly loyal to Naruto.</p><p>The only other person that Sasuke surprisingly seeks, or rather- accepts, company from, is Sakura. Originally, he had only went to her as part of his routine checkup post-release. Sasuke was almost startled at the distance that the pink-haired woman kept between them. Not that she was keeping him at arms length, but it was as if she had moved on from the suffocating crush she had always carried for him. There is no lingering touches, no flirtatious looks, no persistent confessions, instead, she offers him lighthearted yet fundamentally intelligent banter, snide remarks, and surprisingly <em>comfortable </em><em>friendship</em>.</p><p>Despite the lack of drama, or perhaps because of it, as the days turn into weeks, Sasuke grows increasingly tired and disgruntled at his current predicament in Konoha. He doesn't belong. He is constantly reminded of his sins. He is constantly reminded of Konoha's sins against <em>him</em>. And he feels trapped to do anything about it to make the world any better, he feels his 'contribution' with Shikamaru's genius towards Konoha and the Fire Nation become increasingly valueless. He is not needed here.</p><p>Naruto does not need him here.</p><p>When Sasuke walks through the streets now, the crowds part for him, mothers put their bodies in front of their children protectively as he passes, men eye him warily even when he is long gone from their doors.</p><p>He is not welcome here, and that is all the reason he needs to keep himself away from Naruto.</p><p>So when Naruto comes to him, asks him to spar, to eat, to talk, to hang out, he always turns the blond away, with either Shikamaru or Sakura or Kakashi as an excuse. He sees the displeasure and disappointment in the too-expressive blue eyes and turns a blind eye of his own. He ducks onto another street, slips into the foliage of a tree, or just generally disappears when he sees Naruto from afar. And he does it all because that is one promise to himself that he will keep.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Naruto had not visited in the first few weeks of Sasuke's incarceration. When he had come to after he was taken into Konoha, he was already detained under high security. He had been alone in a bed, attached to a monitor and some IVs, in an otherwise pretty barren room. Upon his coming to, they had promptly moved him to solitary confinement.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was not until the end of the first week that Sasuke thought it strange. But after a week of silence, alone, blind, and immobile in a dank prison cell, your mind will begin to wander, and Sasuke wondered why he had not heard from Naruto. He did not dare to get ahead of himself and consider his standing in Naruto's life, no matter how much the blond insisted on their bond of brotherhood and friendship. But an entire week going by with a visit from both Kakashi and Sakura, he had to wonder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kakashi had stopped by for what seemed like mere seconds, only to ascertain his well-being before he had left just as swiftly. Sakura, on the other hand had practically forced her way into his cell to tend to his medical needs, the only time she managed to do so during his incarceration. He was sure the guards and Sakura herself got a good talking to and some form of discipline for allowing her in the cell. Neither Kakashi nor Sakura mentioned Naruto. And he never showed up. With the way he was restrained, he could not even try to sense him himself. And Sasuke was in no place, as a village traitor or a failure of a friend, to ask.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So with nothing else to keep his mind occupied, and no one around to talk to, he counted the days through the meals he received and he sunk deeper and deeper into that rabbit hole. His left arm throbbed and thrummed through it all, the medics doing the bare minimum to prevent an infection. His body ached and complained as it slowly mended itself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It didn't take long for him to reach a gut wrenching conclusion that perhaps Naruto had died after all. That perhaps he had finally managed to kill the only person he held most precious, that he had finally robbed himself of the last good thing he had left in his life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke had realized it years ago, because when you try to kill the most precious person to you and fail, when you lay awake at night and are haunted by piercing blue eyes every time you close your own, you are bound to figure it out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Naruto had somehow creeped and crawled his way into his heart and planted himself there in a way no one else ever has, in a way that was initially unfathomable to Sasuke, in a way Sasuke never asked for.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It twists his heart so that it fuels his anger and hatred instead. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>After so many years of actively evading Naruto for intimately personal and openly public reasons, after so many years of chance encounters and for all Naruto's declarations of bonds and friendships, Sasuke had reached a breaking point wherein the depths of his madness, he had come to welcome the idea of Naruto's ultimate demise. Just as he was destined to feel, just as history had always written itself to be.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke had originally thought Naruto's death would grant him catharsis. He had thought that it would release him from the anchor tying him to the last shred of humanity that held him back from his cruel ambitions. He thought he would finally be free of the turmoil of emotions brought upon by the blue eyes that haunted him every night since he left the blond in the rain years ago. And when Naruto told him that they would die together, he had found relief in his belief of those words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But his reality of Naruto dead, and himself alive... it crippled him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He did not anticipate a paralysis so consuming, he did not expect anguish so cold that it froze his very being, that it obliterated his very mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not when he had already survived through so much loss. Not when he had already believed he had lost everything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And the longer he was kept alone, the more convinced he was that Naruto was gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right before the second week of incarceration, he crumpled from his seat and did nothing to stop his head from hitting the cold concrete floor. He vaguely registered the scent of blood and the warm dampness across his face. His teeth chattered from a chill only he felt. And he was so violently and completely overwhelmed by panic and grief that his body expelled all the meager contents of his stomach.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn't hear himself screaming until he heard the guards shouting and clamoring over it. He didn't know when or how or where or what was happening. At that moment, he was consumed with the single shattering belief that Naruto was gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stopped eating that day.</em>
</p><p><em>The elders thought that to take away his eyes would be punishment. That to take away his life would be justice. They had </em>no idea <em>the hell and </em>punishment <em>Sasuke experienced when he thought Naruto was dead. Blindness would be a mere inconvenience. Death would be a welcome liberation. Anything would be an easy out compared to the despair of knowing he is alive whilst Naruto was dead, and that he was the one that made it real.</em></p><p>
  <em>The days began to blur and he vaguely recalled Sakura and Kakashi coming to see him, each begging and demanding him to eat. The guards forced medical pellets down his throat, stuck IVs in his arm. He thought even Tsuande herself came down to see him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was all a blur. He couldn't hear them anymore. Everything had began to sound as if he was underwater, and he was drowning, drowning, drowning.</em>
</p><p><em>Then he felt </em>him<em>, his chakra, vivid, strong, </em>alive<em>, and headed towards his cell.</em></p><p>
  <em>"Sasuke?" He heard him call his name and his head whips around to the sound.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was as if he could breathe again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bastard, they said you weren't eating," Naruto's voice was shaking, "Why are you causing trouble even now?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're alive..." It leaves Sasuke's lips in a breath so quiet, because if he spoke any louder, he knew his voice would break.</em>
</p><p><em>"Of course I'm alive, teme," he heard Naruto's voice, loud and clear and </em>alive<em>, "Sakura-chan came for us remember?"</em></p><p><em>"Yeah, I remember," he feels his heart beating again, he feels the blood flow through his veins and he feels </em>warm<em> again.</em></p><p>
  <em>He feels how weak he has gotten, and he feels like he needs to eat. His brain is working again and he feels himself silently thanking all the gods he had once thought were fantastically worthless, he feels himself clambering at their feet and begging and thanking them for Naruto's life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He hears Naruto cursing, hears the anger in his voice as he addresses the people with him.</em>
</p><p><em>"...why you kept me busy for so damn long, to keep me away from him?! It takes him to not eat for 10 </em>fucking days <em>before Sakura-chan broke down..."</em></p><p><em>So it wasn't that Naruto didn't want to come. It wasn't that Naruto was dead. Naruto is here, alive, yelling, being so </em>Naruto<em>... But even if he didn't come, as long as he was alive, then that's okay for Sasuke.</em></p><p><em>"...the FUCK are we doing keeping him like this? This is bullshit, I will </em>not<em>..."</em></p><p>
  <em>Naruto was still yelling, and Sasuke can feel the heat radiating from his fiery anger. He feels the corners of his mouth pull up to a small smile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Dobe," He says, "It's fine."</em>
</p><p><em>"Sasuke?" Naruto pauses in his assault and he can hear that the blond has turned to face him again, "Teme, it is </em>not <em>fine-"</em></p><p><em>"I should eat," Sasuke interrupts simply, and he can feel Naruto's hackles coming down, he can </em>see <em>those blue eyes soften in his mind.</em></p><p><em>He eats his first meal in days. And he swore to himself he will never </em>ever<em> harm Naruto again, because the world simply cannot live without its sun, and the moon certainly cannot shine without it. </em></p><p>
  <em>Naruto comes to see him everyday then. He talks to him, keeps him company, even if just for a few minutes, even if he just sends a clone. It doesn't matter how long he stays, Sasuke can always hear him starting a fight with the guards, with the captain, with anyone who will listen from his cell, demanding them to let Sasuke out.</em>
</p><p>So when Sasuke walks the streets now, when he sees the children crowding around Naruto, the women batting their lashes, the gifts offered to the blond... he stays away. As disgusted as he is with the people of village, with how frivolously they change their attitude towards Naruto, it is Naruto's dream.</p><p>He'll be damned if he cannot at least keep that dream alive by making himself scarce.</p><hr/><p>"Can't sleep?" Naruto asks as he settles down near Sasuke on the thick branch.</p><p>"You too?" Sasuke doesn't turn towards the blond, he had known Naruto was coming, had felt his chakra. But he doesn't run away, there was no excuse he could come up with, no reason to escape when he knew Naruto would just chase. He keeps his focus instead on the village below them, his arm resting on a raised knee.</p><p>"Not many people can these days, not soundly anyways," Naruto lays back across the side of the branch, legs stretched out and dangling.</p><p>"Hn."</p><p>They sit in companionable silence. Without moving, Sasuke turns his eyes towards the uncharacteristically quiet blond. An uncomfortable lump forming in his throat as he takes in the downcast expression.</p><p>"See something you like?" Naruto flicks his eyes towards Sasuke, a playful smirk lingering on his lips before sitting to face him.</p><p>"Tch," Sasuke snorts, "Don't be an idiot, usuratonkachi."</p><p>Naruto's face falls to a more serious expression, his eyes hard before he speaks again, "You're avoiding me. You've been avoiding me."</p><p>Sasuke looks away, "Hn."</p><p>Naruto's heart clenches, "Why?"</p><p>"I haven't been. There's no why," Sasuke answers smoothly.</p><p>"You've been out for over two weeks and I've seen you for a grand total of maybe ten minutes, and that is not by my choice. You're avoiding me."</p><p>Sasuke doesn't answer, he keeps his gaze focused on the village below them, his lips pressed thin. He wants to run. He should have ran.</p><p>"Damn it Sasuke," Naruto snaps, and the tone of his voice pulls Sasuke's attention to him, his sees Naruto's blue eyes darken with anger and something else Sasuke cannot quite pinpoint as he continues, "I have to find out through Sakura-chan what you're doing because she's the only one you've been going to see. Why are you avoiding me?"</p><p>The look on Naruto's face tears at Sasuke's chest and he feels his stomach churning vilely. He snaps back at Naruto with a sense of futility, "Don't worry Naruto, I'm pretty sure your precious Sakura-chan no longer dotes upon me."</p><p>"Wha- What are you even talking about?" Naruto recoils slightly with confusion, his brows still knitted in frustration, "This has nothing to with Sakura. Just answer me..."</p><p>Sasuke watches as Naruto sags, his fist clenched tightly, knuckles pressed against the branch beside him. He watches the blue eyes dim as the blond exhales almost as if he feels hopeless.</p><p>"I don't want to fight Sasuke, not like this. So please, just tell me why you're avoiding me."</p><p>Sasuke feels his chest squeezing with an ache that he tries to ignore, he looks away from Naruto. "I'm not avoiding you," he offers weakly. He wants to get away from here. He should have ran.</p><p>"Liar."</p><p>"I'm not-" Sasuke sighs, "I'm not."</p><p>Sasuke can feel Naruto's eyes burn into him silently and Sasuke wonders when he had learnt to hold his tongue, because the lack of words from him rings louder than his voice.</p><p>"The village..." Sasuke relents, looking down at the village, "Its people... They look up to you. They are thankful for you."</p><p>He can feel the heat of Naruto's gaze cooling, "Okay?"</p><p>"That was your dream, right?" Sasuke continues with a frown and his hand running through his hair.</p><p>Naruto narrows his eyes at him, his heart fluttering, "Don't try to change the subject."</p><p>"I shouldn't be here," Sasuke says simply, "In Konoha."</p><p>"What are y-"</p><p>"Naruto, just let me finish," Sasuke shoots him a glare. "It's not even- I'm not even talking about me not wanting to be here. The village... the people are scared of me, they hate me, and rightfully so. But they see you..."</p><p>Naruto watches with flutters in his belly as Sasuke's gaze softens as he trails off momentarily. Not a second too soon, the walls that Sasuke has so carefully built around him are back up, and he continues.</p><p>"When they see you, they see hope. They see someone who risked his life to save theirs," Sasuke turns to looks at Naruto at this point, offering a half-truth, "We are so vastly different, they can't see us... We can't be friends. That's why, for your own sake, you should stop coming to-"</p><p>"You're fucking shitting me," the waves of anger rolling off of Naruto are palpable. "You, Uchiha fucking Sasuke, care about what the village thinks-"</p><p>"I'm doing it for your sake, dobe," Sasuke interrupts sharply this time, his own irritation bubbling out.</p><p>"Then fucking stop. No-one asked you to, teme. Did you maybe think that it's fucked up for you to make that decision for me? Because maybe if you haven't noticed, asshole, I'm not so <em>stupid</em> that I can't make my own decisions. <em>I </em>can decide if I want to be seen with you or not. And just so you know, I will gladly lay my life down for this village, but I'll be <em>damned </em>if I ever give a fucking shit what they think about me for being with someone I actually care about. I love this village, but by god, does it need fixing. I'll give my life for you before I give a second thought about the rest of them. You fucking asshole."</p><p>Sasuke stares at Naruto's outburst, shell shocked. He exhales his defeat through his nose and responds dejectedly, "Don't say that Naruto, don't throw your life away so easily."</p><p>"I'm serious-"</p><p>"Naruto," Sasuke gives him a pointed look, he hates that he sounds like he is pleading, he wants to flee before he falls further into Naruto's orbit, "Shut up."</p><p>Sasuke stares at the blond as his words seem to incense Naruto even further, he watches his shoulders shake, he watches as Naruto bites his bottom lip as if to stop his words from spilling out.</p><p>"We can meet like this," Sasuke offers, he feels his lips quiver, he feels himself giving in to his desire to be close to Naruto, he feels himself being tugged and pulled towards Naruto, "We can meet at night, when everything is quiet. If you want."</p><p>Naruto's anger washes away like a low tide, he looks over at Sasuke's tired face, and he fights every urge to go to him and hold him. "Yes, I would like that."</p><p>He can wait, he can wait until Sasuke is a little less broken, he can wait until he can offer Sasuke more than just self doubt. Because right now, given everything that has happened since he got his memories back, Naruto doesn't know if Sasuke would be able to handle the way he is ready to love him. He can wait until he helps Sasuke find himself first.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'd originally intended this series to only be 4 chapters, and here we are, this chapter alone is almost 10k words T.T<br/>I'm so excited we're finally nearing the end, thank you everyone for your support!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, you don't want to be here, in Konoha," Naruto breaks the silence on the next night they sit together on the same tree.</p><p>Sasuke slides his gaze over from the corner of his eyes, meeting blue orbs from the corner of Naruto's eyes. He scoffs, then grunts and deigns it to be an adequate response.</p><p>Naruto shifts his eyes back towards the village below them and smirks darkly, "Because of the people?"</p><p>Sasuke sighs, of course Naruto would keep pushing for answers, even if Sasuke suspected he knew them already.</p><p>"No, I could care less what they think. Like you said."</p><p>But Sasuke doesn't have to provide more than what is explicitly asked.</p><p>"Because you feel guilty? Or because the council members are still in their cushy seats?" Naruto continues to prod.</p><p>"Partly to both."</p><p>"You... want to make things right in this world right? What about your work with Shikamaru and Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto presses on.</p><p>"I think I've offered as much as I am useful for at this point."</p><p>Sasuke turns his head towards the blond when he groans loudly in frustration, flopping to lay on the branch, "I've had more fun talking to a rock, asshole."</p><p>This brings an exhale of amusement from Sasuke, "Probably because they're more suitable for your brain. Plenty of rocks around here, some with faces on them, take your pick."</p><p>"Should have known you'll only open your mouth to insult me, damn bastard," Naruto grumbles under his breath. He rolls his head to the side so he can look at Sasuke and asks with a gentle sincerity that makes Sasuke's heart flutter so uncomfortably that he gulps to shove it down his throat, "Tell me why you don't want to be in Konoha, Sasuke."</p><p>Sasuke turns his gaze away from glittering blue, and stares down at the village again.</p><p>"There is more to do and learn from outside of Konoha. The people and the council don't help."</p><p>Unsurprisingly, it seems to satisfy Naruto's curiosity, Sasuke didn't doubt that Naruto probably knew as much. What is surprising is the blond's quiet reaction- he looks up at the foliage above them, the first few leaves turning yellow in the cooling weather.</p><p>"Yeah, I can see that," leaves the blond's lips like a breath, and they are sitting in a comfortable silence once more. </p><p>Just when Sasuke thinks Naruto has dozed off, he breaks the silence again, his unnervingly and unusually hushed voice nostalgic, thoughtful.</p><p>"We used to do this, you know." Naruto looks at Sasuke out the corner of his eye, "When you had your memories blocked."</p><p>Sasuke raises an eyebrows, "Sit on a tree and not sleep at night?"</p><p>Naruto chuckles, "Something like that. We both had a hard time sleeping I guess, even you without your memories. So we kind of kept each other company at night, like this."</p><p>"Hn," that piece of information settles comfortingly in Sasuke's heart, as if he knew what it felt like. His stomach flips in warning.</p><p>Naruto watches Sasuke's features soften with his words and he smiles at the way the raven seems to relax just a little. He presses on gently.</p><p>"It was quiet like this too, a lot of times. Sometimes we'd just sit and read, sometimes you'd doze off when I meditated, we'd talk sometimes too... What?"</p><p>Sasuke is looking at him in earnest, his dark eyes sparkling with mirth, "Dobe, you read and meditate?"</p><p>"I'll punch your pretty face stupid, teme" Naruto narrows his eyes and snipes back on autopilot.</p><p>"You can try, moron," Sasuke sniffs with amusement but the argument trails off into silence.</p><p>"I'm not- we're not thirteen anymore, Sasuke," Naruto snorts after a moment and gives him a pointed look, "So yeah, I read and meditate now."</p><p>They are not thirteen anymore.</p><p>As much as they were inevitably drawn towards each other because of their bond, as much as they understand each other's sufferings, there are things that the years apart have kept from each of them.</p><p>Simple things like the fact that Naruto can hold his tongue, sit still and read, and even <em>meditate</em>. And that does not even begin to encompass everything in the last three years that Naruto has experienced to bring him to this point, a powerful shinobi capable of steering the direction of a war.</p><p>There is weight from that simple statement, and it sinks heavily into Sasuke, and he is both relieved and regretful for it.</p><p>Sasuke pushes down the part of him that wants to ask Naruto what he reads now, and when he meditates.</p><p>Instead, Sasuke lets himself drown thickly in the sluggish comfort of knowing that this distance means less harm to Naruto. He won't ask for more than whatever it is they have now, because that is more than enough for Sasuke. The distance comforts him.</p><p>When Sasuke surfaces to the present again, he finds that Naruto has been silently watching him. His blues eyes so unnervingly bright in the dark cloak of night, are staring unflinchingly right into Sasuke's own.</p><p>Were Sasuke a lesser man, he would have snapped his eyes away, he would have swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. Alas, he was the last Uchiha, and he has had a better part of a decade to build up his own unwavering mask, so he meets those blue eyes as if in a challenge, daring Naruto to see through him.</p><p>If it were a simple challenge, Sasuke would have won when Naruto looked away. Yet, Sasuke just feels defeat, and he hates that small part of himself for relishing in his defeat when Naruto speaks after he looks away.</p><p>"I've been reading a lot of stuff on Uzushio and their seals."</p><hr/><p>"Yo," Naruto greets as Sasuke steps out of the Hokage's building after a day's work, hand raised, and with it, a bag of groceries. "Dinner at my place?"</p><p>If Sasuke is surprised, he doesn't show it, he just asks blandly, "Aren't we meeting up later any way?"</p><p>They had been meeting up fairly often since that first night, every other day or so at least. The location changes, the time is not always the same, but they always seem to manage to find each other those nights.</p><p>"It's been getting colder at night, and I don't fancy falling asleep outside in this weather," Naruto shrugs casually and turns away to start walking towards his apartment.</p><p>"I didn't say yes yet."</p><p>Of course, in spite of his comment, Sasuke follows.</p><p>Naruto doesn't even bother with a response.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke had fallen asleep, his face on his arm and his arm on the coffee table. His face unblemished from the weight of the world and unguarded against life's cruelty.</p><p>They had been watching movies after a simple dinner of rice, fish and some wild vegetables with miso soup.</p><p>Naruto pulls his knees closer to himself, gripping on with his arm as he leans against the couch. He watches Sasuke's back rise and fall with each gentle breath with torpid eyes.</p><p>His heart hurts.</p><p>Sasuke had been surprised by the dinner menu, even if it was just a raised eyebrow and a snarky comment. Naruto had promptly shot back with his own insult and demanded that Sasuke work for his food in the kitchen.</p><p>The way that they navigated the kitchen together was altogether another shock to Sasuke. That, Naruto could tell from the thinned lips, calculated movements, and heavier than normal silence.</p><p>Naruto had never thought about it until then, and he felt his heart beating louder when he did.</p><p>Back in the cabin, it came so naturally to them too. Sasuke had maneuvered about Naruto like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He never questioned it, just as Naruto had never questioned it. Sasuke probably thought that it was how it was supposed to be, back then, he didn't know better.</p><p>Naruto shifts his head and buries his eyes into his arm. Holding himself closer as if that would stop him from falling apart. </p><p>Sasuke seems so far away, so disinterested in everything, and just lost. Even around Naruto, he picks and chooses every word that came out of his mouth. The only consolation to Naruto was that he listened when Naruto talked. So he talked and talked and talked, about the problems he's learned that Konoha is riddled with, about the clan systems, about the books he was reading, studying for the chuunin exams, hunting with Sasuke back in the cabin, learning to cook, the jokes they told, hanging out with Sakura...</p><p>And Sasuke just kept him at a comfortable distance.</p><p>At least he kept coming back, even if it was just to listen.</p><p>Naruto feels a little guilty that he misses it. He misses Sasuke, back when he had no memories. Just being around him, just knowing he's right there, not questioning anything, no walls, no masks, opening up and talking. It feels like a dream.</p><p>Maybe that was all it was. Just a dream that Naruto was lucky enough to have for a little while.</p><p>For the moment, Naruto is resigned to accept it.</p><p>If that is all that it was, just a dream, Naruto can handle it for now. He can handle it until he's finally dug deep enough, until he's finally chipped away enough of that armor, until he sees him smile again.</p><p>Gods, he just wants to hear him laugh again.</p><p>Naruto clutches the fabric of his pants tighter, and turns his head to watch Sasuke.</p><p>At least he's sleeping soundly now. Naruto feels a gentle tug at his cheeks where the corners of his lips turn up. No nightmares.</p><p>"Just be happy," He mumbles quietly.</p><p>As if on cue, Sasuke's eyes open and immediately find purchase in Naruto's blue gaze, and he is suddenly wide awake.</p><p>Naruto has that look in his eyes again, the same one that regarded Sasuke when he woke up after his memories were restored. It pins Sasuke down and raises the hairs on his arms, it sends chills down his spine and makes his stomach turn. It makes his throat dry and his blood boil and his heart beat angrily. He never wants to look away from that achingly soft intensity.</p><p>So Sasuke tears his eyes away and sits up, stretching. When he looks back at Naruto, there is only an amused glint.</p><p>"You're up, sleeping beauty," the blond says with a sloppy grin.</p><p>"What time is it?" Sasuke grunts with an eye-roll.</p><p>"Just past midnight."</p><p>"Hn, it's getting pretty late..." Sasuke pushes himself up to his feet, and he sees Naruto doing the same.</p><p>But he doesn't speak, Naruto doesn't say anything at all as silence cloaks the room, the ticking of the clock dictating the seconds inching past them.</p><p>"I have a spare-"</p><p>"I should go."</p><p>"Ah, yeah..." Naruto blinks, gives a little laugh and runs his hand through his hair as he looks to the side, "I'll uh, walk you out."</p><p>"Yeah," Sasuke breathes like he's lost, and he doesn't know why it comes out that way. </p><p>Naruto watches Sasuke head towards the door. His mind, his <em>heart</em> is screaming for him to stay. He squeezes his eyes shut and tightens his jaw, and follows him to the door.</p><p>It's one thing to fall asleep in the open air when there is distance between them, it is a complete other thing to ask Sasuke to stay in a small apartment and have him sleep next to Naruto, even if it is on the floor by his bed.</p><p>"I'll see you-" Sasuke pauses as he turns to face Naruto, blue eyes dull and downcast, lips pulled into a thin line. Sasuke feels his heart skip a beat or maybe two, "...You okay?"</p><p>"Hm?" Naruto snaps his head up to Sasuke so quickly, he's dizzy from it, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... tired, I guess."</p><p>Sasuke feels his hand twitch and shift to reach out. He doesn't remember the last time seeing Naruto like this, at least not since he's been hauled back to Konoha. It pulls at him, the sight of it draws him in and he wants to hold Naruto, tell him it's okay.</p><p>But he hasn't lost his mind yet, so he pulls his hand firmly to his side.</p><p>"I'll come again, tomorrow," Sasuke bites his tongue when it is too late, and Naruto's face lights up in a smile.</p><p>Sasuke's heart stutters and his brain yells that that's fine, right? Just a change of location, right? Just shifting the distance from outdoors to indoors?</p><p>"Yeah, that sounds good."</p><p>Sasuke sees it coming, because it comes slowly, hesitantly. Naruto steps forward and he reaches his arm out as if to hug him.</p><p>It doesn't have to mean anything, he always has his arm around Kiba, or Lee, or Shikamaru.</p><p>But he sees it coming, and his stomach coils into panic. The arm that comes at him too slow to dodge as if it were a fist, too gentle to block as if it were a slap . Sasuke steps back just a little, and he knows from the way Naruto's eyes flickers, that he saw Sasuke move away.</p><p>They end up in an awkward half hug, Naruto's chin is on Sasuke's shoulder and his hand holding onto the back of that same shoulder. There is a space between their bodies, far enough away for want to pull closer, close enough that they can feel each other's warmth.</p><p>"You should," Sasuke places his hand uncertainly by the side of Naruto's ribs, and pats him awkwardly, "You should get some sleep."</p><p>Naruto's grin is too big when he pushes away from Sasuke and rubs his head, "Yeah. Sorry about that, asshole." His eyes are cold as ice and it freezes the parts of Sasuke where Naruto had touched, where warmth was already steadily slipping away.</p><p>"Forgot about that pole up your ass, and your personal space or whatever."</p><p>"Hn," Sasuke grunts in annoyance, "Dobe, I'll see you tomorrow."</p><p>With that, he turns and is gone in an instant.</p><p>"Tch," Naruto scoffs, but he clutches his shirt in front his chest.</p><p>At least there's tomorrow.</p><hr/><p>"Seems like you're not avoiding Naruto anymore," Sakura comments as she takes a sip from her tea cup.</p><p>Sasuke slides his eyes over to her. she chuckles when he answers with a raised eyebrow, his face otherwise set in stone. They had bumped into each other on their way home, and Sakura had asked him to have tea with her.</p><p>It comes easier for them now, for Sakura to ask and for Sasuke to agree to a natural companionship. It settles somewhere between a casual chat with an acquaintance on the side of the street and a more intimate conversation between two close friends over a meal.</p><p>"He's stopped pestering me about you for a while now," Sakura offered.</p><p>"Tch, troublesome," Sasuke replies, and drinks from his cup.</p><p>"Shikamaru's rubbing off on you," Sakura nudges him playfully with a grin, and Sasuke finds that he doesn't mind that invasion of personal space much at all.</p><p>"No, that's just Naruto. Troublesome," Sasuke responds with a smirk.</p><p>Sakura laughs then, "I'm glad you guys are getting along again. I'm really glad, that we're all doing so well now, team seven..."</p><p>Sasuke looks down at his cup as his thumb absently brushes along the lip. He supposes he is getting along with Naruto as well as he allows it.</p><p>Of course, they're are <em>all </em>doing so well because he's finally stopped being a revenge-driven madman, he almost snorts. They would be doing just as well without him.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun, it's okay," Sakura says quietly and he finds that she has been studying him, "I'm glad you're home.</p><p>Sasuke blinks at her and wonders briefly if he'd said anything out loud. Then he changes the subject completely, "Shikamaru mentioned that you've been visiting him quite a bit about medicinal materials. Naruto said you stayed with me for a few days, in the forest, and we foraged."</p><p>"Ah yeah, now that the war is over, I have more time to look into the medical encyclopedia. There's a lot of interesting alternatives-" Sakura's eyes brightened as she chattered on, and Sasuke listened, glad to have distracted her.</p><p>He remembers feeling the same kind of complacency, back when he was thirteen, the comfort of team seven, and the panic that came from it. The fear of forgetting his anger and hatred, the alarm from the possibility of losing sight of his goal. The more he found solace in Naruto, in Kakashi, and in Sakura, the more he opposed that sense of complacency. Then he had lashed out and did his best to destroy any kind of bond that held him to Konoha, to these people he had inevitably grown to care about.</p><p>He is unnerved by it now for a completely different reason. It comes to him too easily, that same sense of solace that he finds in the same people. He has done nothing to right his wrongs towards them, and all it does is eat away at him.</p><p>He doesn't know who he is, he doesn't know where he should be, where he should go in life. He certainly doesn't belong in Konoha, not right now. And the warmth of it all, the calm of it all, the more that he gets along with his team seven, the more that it unsettles him to his core.</p><p>He's not ready for it, he's not ready to fuck it up all over again.</p><hr/><p>"Kakashi," Sasuke addresses his former teacher as he walks into the Hokage's office not a few days after tea with Sakura. His eyes shift over to a familiar head of pink standing near the desk, "Sakura."</p><p>"Yo, Sasuke," Kakashi raises an arm cheerfully, "Isn't this nice, almost like a little reunion, maybe Naruto will stop by too."</p><p>Sasuke blinks at the pair uncomfortably as Sakura lets out a little chuckle in agreement, he emits a noise from the back of his throat in response, "Actually, maybe it's good timing that you're both here."</p><p>"What is it?" Sakura shifts her attention wholly onto Sasuke, her eyebrow slightly knitted in question at his tone.</p><p>Kakashi folds his hands on his desk in front of him and exhales as if he knows what is coming.</p><p>"I've been thinking about leaving Konoha," Sasuke continues smoothly, "This is me putting in a formal request."</p><p>Sasuke watches as one half of Team 7 absorbs the information. He hadn't been sure what reaction he was going to receive, but the quiet acquiescence brings his guard down just a bit.</p><p>Sakura shrinks a little into herself, but she has a small smile and a look on her face as if she expected it, Kakashi didn't offer any reaction at all, and Sasuke almost scoffs at it.</p><p>"Does Naru-"</p><p>"What are your-"</p><p>The short silence was broken by Kakashi and Sakura's voices at the same time. Kakashi gives Sakura a small nod and allows her to speak first.</p><p>"Have you told Naruto yet?" Sakura asks.</p><p>The question gives Sasuke a little pause and he blinks it away the next moment. He had thought Sakura would have demanded some form of explanation or plan for his departure, or offered up some sort of complaint. But, it was an easy enough question to answer.</p><p>"No, not yet. I figured I'd talk to Kakashi first."</p><p>"Sakura," Kakashi interrupts just as Sakura was going to speak again, "I'm sorry, let's continue our meeting another time. Do you mind if you leave me and Sasuke to discuss this matter alone for a while? I suspect we will have to go through some logistics and I'll have some assignments for Sasuke's upcoming trip."</p><p>Sakura brings her concerned eyes towards Kakashi, and swallows the lump in her throat. Of course, that means Kakashi is allowing Sasuke to leave. She nods with a smile and whispers a small <em>hai,</em> before she leaves the men alone.</p><p> </p><p>When Sasuke makes his way out of the building after his meeting ended with Kakashi, eyes low and slightly preoccupied with his own thoughts, he notices Sakura leaning against a tree, deep in thought as she watches the clouds. She had been waiting for him.</p><p>"Sakura," he greets as his feet take him in front of her.</p><p>She faces him with an easy smile, "Sasuke-kun, walk with me to the hospital?"</p><p>Sasuke nods in agreement and falls into step with his former teammate, the soft 'tap tap tap' of their footsteps the only sound between them.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun," Sakura breaks their companionable silence after a while, and she catches his attention with a quick glance from the corners of her eyes without a break in their pace. "Sasuke-kun probably knows too right, that I am no longer in love with you."</p><p>The abruptness and bluntness of her words causes him to stutter in his steps, the second time in the same hour that she has startled him.</p><p>It makes him slightly uncomfortable.</p><p>He looks down at the side of her calm face, a small smile still on her lips. He makes a noise to signal the affirmative, and waits for her to continue.</p><p>"I probably... stopped being in love with you a while ago. Twelve-year-old me would be so happy you are walking next to me right now," she chuckles a little, her eyes contemplative, "I think, with everything that has happened, I never really had time to stop and think about it. Of course, Sasuke-kun, you're still very important to me."</p><p>Sasuke is growing increasingly uncomfortable as she turns her head to firmly lock her eyes with his, still walking as she regards him for a short moment.</p><p>"Sorry, I'm probably making you uncomfortable," she hits the nail on the head and turns back to face the street, "But, I wanted you to know."</p><p>Sasuke makes another sound in agreement and otherwise stays silent.</p><p>What can he possibly offer to this conversation.</p><p>"The truth is, now that the war is over, now that you're back, I only realized recently that I stopped having those feelings for you... and the truth is, back when we were still trying to get you back, there were times that I have given up on you," Sasuke watches as she tightens her jaw somberly. "But, Naruto never gave up, he never stopped believing in you, he never stopped fighting for you. He never gave up on you. He had so much conviction that all I could do was believe in him. That's why... I think that's why, I kept believing that I loved you, because Naruto was there through it all, making us all believe in him- believing in you... That why, when I think about it now... I thought I still loved you, because I absolutely believed in Naruto."</p><p>Sasuke feels his throat constricting as Sakura pauses to collect her thoughts, to formulate her next words, her steps still ever moving forward.</p><p>"It is because Naruto was there the whole time that I had the motivation and the willpower to want to become stronger. I was tired of falling behind you two all the time." She laughs then, an honest laugh and she meets Sasuke's eyes briefly again, "Don't you think I'm kind of cool? I was spending all my energy and efforts into becoming a great kunoichi, that I didn't even have time to assess my feelings of love?"</p><p>Sasuke would never admit it out loud, but looking at the grown-up Sakura next to him, so confidently open, a formidable kunoichi in her own right, he feels for the first time, an incredible sense of pride for her. She really has come far. He almost grins back, and he ducks his head at the last second.</p><p>"Hn, that's pretty cool," Sasuke agrees quietly, a off-kilter smile on his lips.</p><p>Sakura sighs in contentment, a little tune coming from her throat as she walks on happily, her eyes bright as she begins to speak again. "Really, I'm really glad that I was in Team 7. I'm glad Sasuke-kun was on my team... and I'm so glad that Naruto was there for me, pulling me up. He's always been there for me, watching my back, encouraging me, helping me. He always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. Just like he always believed in you."</p><p>Sakura's tone has become solemn again, and for the first time in their walk, she stops in her steps and turns to face Sasuke head on, a serious glint in her eyes.</p><p>A small part of Sasuke wondered how much more she has to say about Naruto. He wonders why she was telling <em>him</em> all this about Naruto, who has loved her since he was a child. Was it her way of moving on from Sasuke? He feels his heart pounding painfully in preparation for the confession that was likely coming.</p><p>Instead, she surprises him for the third time, her voice dignified and strong.</p><p>"I was there too, for Naruto. I saw him bleed for you, I watched him plead for you, I was there through all the suffering you put him through; and he never gave up on you-" She pauses then, her breath shuddering, but she continues just as fiercely.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun, you're important to me, and I understand why you feel the need to leave Konoha. But, if you ever, <em>ever</em> put Naruto through that kind of pain again, I will do whatever it takes to protect him from you this time. I will <em>never</em> forgive you."</p><p>Sasuke stares, genuinely struck by the woman in front of him, wind in her hair, fire in her eyes, her fists clenched in determination, ready to protect the person that has become so important to her. So incredibly different from the child that pleaded for him to stay.</p><p>He swallows, and her presence becomes too much, it floods him with guilt and regret, and he drops his eyes down at the ground instead. The only response he offers is another grunt of acceptance. They both knew that, really, he was the only one who could destroy Naruto. He holds that power, physically or otherwise... the thought of it makes him ill...</p><p>Then he feels her hand on the bicep of what is his left of his left arm, warm yet firm, comforting in its simple presence.</p><p>"I say that... but really, you wouldn't forgive yourself either. Would you?"</p><p>His head snaps up and their eyes clash and for a short moment, he doesn't care what she sees on his face. For the first time in his life, he is genuinely <em>grateful</em> that he was part of Team 7. He doesn't know what he has done to deserve people who just inherently understand and accept him. Because he sure as hell doesn't deserve any of it. A slightly crazed part of him almost wants to hug her.</p><p>He offers a weak, lopsided smile instead, "I...yeah."</p><p>Then Sakura's hand is gone, along with the rest of her, she waves good-bye and tells him she'll make the rest of the way to the hospital herself.</p><p>"I'll see you off when you leave, so let me know."</p><hr/><p>"Sasuke, what's up?" Naruto grins upon seeing Sasuke at his door.</p><p>"Hey," Sasuke looks into the too-bright blue eyes and shifts his gaze over to the door instead, his throat suddenly dry, despite hours of searching for the right words.</p><p>"...is everything okay?" Naruto straightens himself at the foyer and waves a hand inside, "You want to come in?"</p><p>"No, it's fine," Sasuke clears his throat and shifts his weight onto his left leg, "I won't be long... I'm just here to let you know that I'm leaving Konoha."</p><p>The moment the words leave his lips, it was as if a wave of silence crashed upon them, on all the sounds of the leaves rustling, the birds singing, the gentle wind chimes at the door of a nearby neighbor... Sasuke wasn't sure if it was because of the broken look on Naruto's face or because his own heart had suddenly jumped into his mouth... for a brief moment, he wondered if he was betraying Naruto again. Then Naruto spoke.</p><p>"Oh," and the sounds rushed back into their realities, "Okay. Yeah. No, I get it. I figured."</p><p>"Kakashi... already gave the okay," Sasuke offers quietly. He raises his hand towards Naruto, then drops it, unsure of what to do with it after all.</p><p>"I see," Naruto smiles, not his usual too-much-teeth or split-his-face smile, but it is a genuine smile, a small one, "To be honest, I'm not surprised. I'm actually happy for you."</p><p>Sasuke relaxes a little at Naruto's little chuckle, but it doesn't offer much reprieve from the lack of light in the blue eyes.</p><p>"But I'll be lying if I say I won't be lonely. Man, who do I bug when I'm bored at night now?" Naruto whines just like he usually would, and it could fool anyone.</p><p>"The whole village if you really want," Sasuke offers sarcastically; it feels like he's walking on a thin line, but nobody would notice.</p><p>"Ass, I was just trying to be nice," A little bit of the edge in Naruto's voice has smoothed over.</p><p>"Then don't go around keeping people up at night," Sasuke counters casually, and he's walking the line just that much easier.</p><p>Sasuke feels his jaw clench as he meets Naruto's eyes, he feels like he's should be telling him something that he is not, and Naruto looks like he is waiting to hear something that isn't coming.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"How-"</p><p>Sasuke jerks his head with a tilt of his chin, nudging Naruto to keep talking.</p><p>"How long do you think you're going to be gone for?" Naruto feels his chest swelling with panic the moment the question leaves his lips, the reality of Sasuke's departure three years ago rising up to haunt him.</p><p>"I'm not sure," Sasuke watches the way Naruto shifts his eyes frantically until it rests on his hand clutching at the door knob, "But I'll be coming back every few months to start with."</p><p>"Oh, that's good," Naruto meets his eyes again, and his hand relaxes. He manages to make a dig at Sasuke, "Then I won't have to come hunting you down again."</p><p>"No, probably not," Sasuke exhales audibly, "Kakashi will have assignments along the way."</p><p>"I see," Naruto repeats. Then, "When are you heading out?"</p><p>"Probably day after tomorrow," Sasuke answers easily enough.</p><p>Sasuke feels the air around them thickening as he shifts his weight to his other leg, anticipating Naruto to speak again. But he doesn't.</p><p>For a few moments, their eyes meet, and separate, then meet again, as they stand awkwardly in front of each other.</p><p>It grinds away at Sasuke.</p><p>"I thought you'd be louder," Sasuke huffs out a sigh almost as if in frustration, "More annoying, you know. This is fucking weird."</p><p>At this, Naruto laughs, and he bites his lip at the memory of his own reaction towards Sasuke's response of him being sent to Suna.</p><p>"Are you sulking? Did you think I was going to cry and ask you to stay?" Naruto teases.</p><p>"Wha-, what the hell," Sasuke glares at the blond, and there it was, that <em>look</em> in his blue eyes that makes Sasuke wonder if he's looking at the right person. Sasuke shifts his gaze away, "No, I just figured you'd protest or something."</p><p>"Like I said, I'm actually happy for you. I'm not just saying that." Naruto shakes his head with a gentle smile on his face, "I get it, you want to fix things, and not just here. Konoha is-... I get why you have to leave Konoha. You want to see the world through different eyes. It's time to fix things, right?"</p><p>Sasuke feels a rush through his veins as he glances at Naruto with some confusion, a wave of deja vu washing through him, "Yeah."</p><p>"Hey," Naruto catches his attention softly, with that <em>look</em> in his eyes, "I'll wait for you to come home safe."</p><p>It feels like a train has plowed through Sasuke, the words echo in the back of his mind, ringing through his skull like a forgotten alarm. He wants to touch Naruto so badly, he almost reaches for Naruto's face, almost grabs him and pulls him into a hug.</p><p>Home, he hasn't considered Konoha <em>home</em> in a while, but if Naruto- </p><p>No, Sasuke can't have those futile dreams. He fixes his eyes on the space where Naruto's missing arm should be and thinks he should snap back with something snarky about the way Naruto is being, make fun of him in some way. Sasuke thinks he should wave it off like Naruto just made some stupid joke. But when Sasuke opens his mouth, he just stares dumbly at that heavy <em>look</em> on Naruto's face.</p><p>"Well then, I should go," Sasuke offers pathetically when he finds his voice again.</p><p>"Yeah, right," Naruto ducks his head and laughs awkwardly, "I'll uh, see you before you leave?"</p><p>"Yeah, okay, sounds good," Sasuke steps back, and feels like he's doing something so absolutely wrong.</p><p>Nevertheless, he keeps pulling back, and forces himself to turn around, compels himself to raise an arm in farewell, "I'll see you."</p><p>"Wait," Naruto grabs at Sasuke's wrist just as he steps to leave, his heart racing with a sense of hopelessness. "Just, one more thing."</p><p>Sasuke looks over his shoulder and raises his eyebrows in question, his blood pumping loudly through his ears, his stomach turning from the conflicting relief and dread that he was stopped from leaving. He sees Naruto close his eyes and take a deep breath. He sees Naruto's lips tilt into a defeated smile when he locks eyes with him again.</p><p>"After all, I can't let you go without telling you. I'm sorry."</p><p>It was that expression again, the one that makes the hairs on his body rise and squeezes the air out of his lungs. The look that-</p><p>"I love you," Naruto's breath tumbles out, "I thought I could wait for you, wait until you got better... and I can, if that is what you want. That's what I thought you would want. But I'm not sure anymore... If it isn't what you want, then that's okay too, because then it's my problem. I just can't let you go, and keep lying anymore. I'm in love with you... I love you so much. I just.. I have to let you know at least..."</p><p>Naruto's hand is still on Sasuke's wrist, and Sasuke stares, dumbfounded, at their hands, and the blood drains rapidly from his face. A sick sense of recognition from Sakura's words flash through his mind and he wonders if life is playing a string of fucked up, themed pranks against him today.</p><p>He feels the storm that he has kept at bay, the internal war that he has suppressed for so long unleash wildly within him. His mind is blank from too many voices all clamoring over each other, his stomach drops from the havoc of unshackled emotions he has so carefully chained behind his ribs for so long.</p><p>"Dobe, don't joke around," Sasuke's voice quivers and he finally looks back up, his features marred with painful confusion. "I... don't know what to do anymore," leaves Sasuke's lips shakily, he turns towards Naruto and drops his head on Naruto's shoulder, leaning heavily against the blond. Naruto barely catches the words before he catches him.</p><p>"Sasuke?"</p><p>Sasuke is exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally- everything stored behind carefully built walls, hidden underneath an imperturbable mask, all of it defenseless against Naruto's honest confrontation. Naruto had just barreled into Sasuke just as he indomitably barrels through life. He feels Naruto's hand shift from his back and grasp him firmly about his nape, his fingers hot against Sasuke's skin.</p><p>"Otsukaresama-deshita," Sasuke hears Naruto's husky whisper against his ear, and he grips on to the fabric of Naruto's shirt, and allows himself to feel tired from it all.</p><p> </p><p>The sun is setting when Sasuke wakes up, and he doesn't remember exactly how he got to where he is, but he thinks he feels more rested than he has in a while. Sasuke turns his head until he finds Naruto sitting at the coffee table, a manga in his hands, and a more academic volume and drawings of seals in front of him. Naruto meets Sasuke's eyes when the onyx eyes locate him and he watches Sasuke shift to sit on the bed.</p><p>"You're awake," Naruto glances away awkwardly, then returns his gaze on Sasuke, his blue eyes flickering nervously.</p><p>For a moment, Sasuke forgets to breathe as he remembers the words that came from that same mouth just - minutes? Hours? - ago, and he wrestles his mask back on firmly. For Naruto's sake. He shoves the memory down as his brain fires up contingencies for his current situation.</p><p>"What time is it?"</p><p>"Just after 7."</p><p>Sasuke had been asleep for almost three hours.</p><p>"Manga doesn't count as 'reading' you know, moron," Sasuke mocks because it is easy to, because it is a distraction, and it does the job in lightening the mood. </p><p>Naruto blinks in surprise at the direction of conversation and looks at the paperback in his hands, setting it down next to the heavy volume on the coffee table before glaring at Sasuke, "I couldn't concentrate, asshole."</p><p>"Nothing new there," Sasuke counters easily, but the reason for Naruto's lack of concentration hangs thickly between them now.</p><p>Sasuke's heart aches from the look of dejection on Naruto's face. He half hopes, rather hopelessly, that Naruto will ignore the elephant in the room; then he'll leave the village, and eventually Naruto will realize that he was mistaken, that he dodged a bullet. Then they can move on, and carry on with this- whatever this is left of what they call friendship. Naruto doesn't need him, Konoha doesn't need him, he was always better off alone. Safer. For everyone's sake.</p><p>Alas, this is Naruto.</p><p>"Don't pretend nothing happened, everything that I said before. At the very least you owe me a proper response. Whatever it is." Naruto's eyes are dark now, and he glares at Sasuke, his voice low, rough with emotion, and his presence is suddenly overwhelming.</p><p>Sasuke doesn't look away, doesn't back down, it comes effortlessly to him when he is facing down against Naruto. But he sighs, and gathers his thoughts, ready to fire away.</p><p>"You're not thinking properly, this is a mistake," Sasuke says firmly, "You're not in love with me."</p><p>Naruto snorts, his voice angrier, "I'm not listening to Uchiha fucking Sasuke tell me my feelings are a mistake. A little out of your league, don't you think?"</p><p>Sasuke blinks once at the response, he almost snorts at the remark himself. Bullseye. It hurts and thrills him at the same time that Naruto could throw such a punch and still claim to love him.</p><p>He exhales and remembers what Sakura told him, he wonders mildly if she would be disgusted by him using her words against Naruto.</p><p>"I'm just saying what you feel for me, you're mistaking it for love because I've been your goal for the last three years. You haven't had the chance to look around you. You haven't had the chance to <em>think</em>. You've just been chasing me and trying to catch up to me, you got tunnel vision from it. You just think you love me because I was all that you happened to focus on. And maybe you do love me, I won't doubt that if that's what you think, we have a bond, but you're not <em>in love</em> with me."</p><p>"I'm in love with you," Naruto responds simply, challengingly, "Trust me, I've thought good and hard. I know what I want, I know what I feel."</p><p>Sasuke plays with the idea of insulting the blond's intelligence, set up so easily for him to take a jab. He figures now is as good as any time, now is especially a good time. </p><p>"You could probably think as deep as a turtle could dig. You're seventeen, you don't know what being in love is," Low blow, but the look in Naruto's eyes is making Sasuke nervous, and this is not their usual combat format, this is Naruto's forte.</p><p>"Fuck you, you're fucking deflecting- Seventeen, sure. My soul has lived for centuries. Don't fucking give me pathetic reasons like 'I don't know what being in love is.'"</p><p>"That doesn't make you any less of an idiot in this life, dobe. In case you forgot, our centuries old souls have killed each other every life before this," Sasuke thinks he is gaining the upper hand again. That is to his disappointment and at the same time - his satisfaction, from a life long habit of butting heads with Naruto.</p><p>"Then maybe it's time to make something better out of our souls that are apparently forever bound. We may be seventeen, Sasuke, but even in this life we've both lived more than a lifetime in those years."</p><p>Naruto stares him down defiantly before he continues, "You could have just told me you don't feel the same; could have just turned me down and gave me shit. That would have ended it. We wouldn't be having this conversation. But you're just trying to convince me that I don't know what I'm feeling."</p><p>Sasuke feels the air being knocked out of him as if Naruto had landed a physical blow. He was right, everything Naruto had said from the moment he opened his mouth had been hard hitting and unerring in its aim, and really, Sasuke had just been retro-actively flailing in his parries. He had never even considered denying his own feelings, not even once since he has come to realize it for what it was. Sure he has tried to bury it, shove it aside, forget it, but never did he consider it false.</p><p>What a hypocrite he was.</p><p>Sasuke swallows and tries to meet Naruto's eyes again, he feels himself slipping away from his conviction, he feels himself losing against the pull of the whirlpool that is Uzumaki Naruto. He is going to sink into Naruto's orbit.</p><p>"I-" He tries to deny, really, <em>really</em> tries to convince himself that he tries to deny. What comes out instead, is a weak, "You're straight."</p><p>Naruto doesn't respond immediately to that, rather, he just stares. As if in disbelief at Sasuke's stupidity- at the pettiness of his weak retort. It pisses Sasuke off and he sharpens his teeth and is just about to bite when Naruto scoffs and rolls his eyes. But when they meet Sasuke's gaze again, they are soft, and the smile on his lips sweet, and he completely dismisses Sasuke's prior commentary.</p><p>"You're still not denying it."</p><p>And Sasuke- Sasuke just feels hopeless. All that he can manage to do is meet those sky blue eyes, warm and soft. Even that, after a while, becomes too much.</p><p>"It doesn't matter if I deny it or not. It doesn't matter at all what I <em>feel</em>," Sasuke's words pierce through the silence like a sword, and he intends to slice the conversation short with just as sharp a blade.</p><p>There is no disguising the mood anymore, no back and forth challenges, this has become too much, and he wants out.</p><p>And if Naruto looks like he's taken a hit, that's okay with Sasuke.</p><p>Because anything is better than the moron believing that he loves Sasuke. If he gets even a glimpse of what Sasuke really feels, Sasuke knows that he won't relent. Anything is better than the idiot thinking that he wants Sasuke to mean <em>this much more</em> to him. Sasuke is anything but good for him. Better to rip the band-aid off now than to repair the potential damages from the mistakes he could make; damages like a <em>missing</em> fucking <em>arm. </em>And that is if they are <em>lucky</em>.</p><p>He's better off loving someone else. Anyone but Sasuke.</p><p>Sasuke expects Naruto to fight back, to push and prod and force his way through like he always does. If he does, then should be easy for Sasuke to fight back against. Angry words can turn into shallow shouting matches where superficial insults get hurled, that is an easy course for Sasuke to navigate.</p><p>Instead, he is hit with all the change that three years of distance and a Fourth Shinobi World War can bring upon a former village prankster.</p><p>"You know, despite what you just said," Naruto says with a weak smile before looking away, "That's really, really selfish of you."</p><p>Sasuke is floored from the mild response and he is hopeless all over again. He feels that part of him, desperately gripping onto his conviction, slip further and further away. It is screaming from the inside, ready to give in, reaching out for Naruto, fighting against all the rest of him telling him to control himself, control the situation.</p><p>Then Naruto speaks, and he doesn't even know how to think any more.</p><p>"Wanna go grab a bite?" Naruto stands up and throws him a lopsided grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes.</p><p>"We haven't had dinner yet," Naruto gestures towards the door when Sasuke's only response is an incredulous look.</p><p>The suggestion came so abruptly, so <em>randomly,</em> Sasuke only vaguely registers it to be his way <em>out</em> of this uncomfortable situation. He stands and nods curtly at Naruto, ready to walk away from this conversation, and in two days, out of Konoha, away from this- this <em>gravitational </em><em>thing,</em> that is so fucking <em>overwhelming. </em></p><p>At least until he is able to clear his mind, at least until he is able to think without being pulled and tugged and shoved every which way by Naruto's simple existence being so fucking <em>close </em>to him.</p><p>"Follow me," Naruto mumbles hoarsely when they step outside.</p><p>And again, Sasuke is thrown for a loop when the blond just takes off leaping onto the roofs.</p><p>He is falling further and further, hopelessly, into Naruto's damn orbit.</p><p>"Where are we going?" Sasuke asks with a hint of alarm when he realizes after a while that they were leaving behind the hustle and bustle of the village, heading instead, into the forest.</p><p>Naruto's eyes glint intensely in the dark as he spares a look behind him. He bares his teeth in an threatening smirk when he answers, "We're going to flatten another valley and lose another arm. This time, so you fucking believe me when I say I love you."</p><p>Sasuke has enough control that he doesn't falter in his steps, but he slows down just a little as the alarms in his head begin to ring louder.</p><p>Then Naruto laughs, weighted, dark chuckles.</p><p>"I'm just kidding," He calls out without humor, "Just keep up. You owe me this much."</p><p>Sasuke swallows dryly at the last sentence, and allows himself to be strung along. He doesn't ask another question as they barrel through the pitch black forest for the next thirty minutes.</p><p>Then Naruto takes a turn, drops to the forest floor, and there is a well worn trail. He waits for Sasuke to land beside him before they walk, side by side, to a cabin.</p><p>Still without a word, Naruto lets himself in, and fiddles with some oil lamps until the living area is lit. When he frees his hand of the work, he finally turns to face Sasuke, and gestures vaguely to the space around them.</p><p>"This is where I was kept," Sasuke says as looks away from the blue eyes. He notes the cold glint at the word 'kept', but Sasuke ignores it and looks around them instead. He doesn't remember any of it, yet he knows it, "When the memory seal was in place."</p><p>"We lived here for just over two months," Naruto confirms, and he moves over to the couch, dropping unceremoniously onto it, "There are some provisions here, so I'm not lying about dinner."</p><p>Sasuke huffs out a laugh of disbelief as he walks over to stand near Naruto. Of course, the blond was not going to drop the conversation over <em>dinner</em>. Sasuke had been so desperate to get away, he had been blind. He feels like a fool.</p><p>"Why?" Sasuke asks simply.</p><p>"I wanted you to see it. Since you're clear of all charges, I'd already asked Kakashi..." Naruto's voice trails off, and Sasuke notices that it carries an entirely different tone than when they were at the blond's apartment.</p><p>"Now it's been another two months since we lived here," Naruto throws a dull smile at the raven.</p><p>"And?" Sasuke presses, annoyed at the lack of clarity to his being here. He glances over at Naruto and the space beside him on the couch, considers it for a moment, and moves to the dining table.</p><p>Sasuke runs a finger across the surface and rubs the dust off between his fingers. Then he pulls out a chair, swipes at the seat with his palm, and dusts it off his pants as he sits.</p><p>"I told you, right? That we would keep each other company," Naruto begins, his voice uncharacteristically light, and he looks about him at the couch, his fingers absently stroking the cushion. "We couldn't sleep. Things haunt us at night where they stay hidden during the day. So this is where we'd just sit, and <em>be. </em>A lot of times, we weren't even talking. It just became something that we did. You'd sleep on the couch, and I'd grab a futon and sleep on the floor, right here."</p><p>The way that Naruto raises his eyes and catches Sasuke's own, the <em>look </em>on his face, it makes Sasuke's breath hitch. He thinks he feels his lips quivering, and somewhere deep down, he feels like he's lost something important. It claws at him, it's fighting to get out, and it's knocking against his chest, a desperate <em>yearning,</em> looking for something to hold on to.</p><p>"I was sent away to Suna near the end of it," Naruto says more quietly than before, his eyes staring forward, distracted.</p><p>Then he gets up and walks over to Sasuke. "C'mon," he nudges with his head, his voice still soft, still deep in thought.</p><p>He leads Sasuke a little further into the cabin, into a bedroom. Then he stands just past the doorway and stares at the bed, Sasuke hovering behind him by the door.</p><p>"It was summer then, sometimes we'd go up on the roof at night, and just lay there. We talked more, up there." Naruto continues, "I'm not going to lie, sometimes during that time, I wondered if it's better that you didn't have your memories, because you were so much happier."</p><p>Naruto laughs quietly, and the admission unnerves Sasuke. Then Naruto turns around and locks his eyes with black ones, and they seem to twinkle in the dark.</p><p>"You were also <em>wayyyy</em> less of an asshole," Naruto smiles a little bigger for a second, "But then I'd remember that that's not you, not <em>all</em> of you. And I couldn't bear the thought of never being around <em>you </em>again. Even if it meant you were happier without your memories. It just wasn't right."</p><p>Naruto shakes his head and keeps holding Sasuke's eyes with that <em>look</em>. He doesn't wait for a response from the raven, and <em>gods </em>know that Sasuke was doing all he could to keep his mask on.</p><p>"A few days before Suna, we were up on the roof again. You asked me about yourself, what you were like with memories. You told me that you wished that happier part of you would stay, because you <em>liked</em> that part of yourself... Then you thanked me, for everything I've done, for simply existing..."</p><p>Sasuke could see something building up inside Naruto as his breath shuddered, his blue eyes glistening suspiciously brighter than before. Sasuke swallows his own anxiety as he feels the clawing inside of him become stronger, wilder. It's screaming so loudly to get out, he's amazed Naruto can't hear it.</p><p>Naruto brings the bottom of his palm to his eyes as he ducks his head and chuckles, "And that just made me realize what an idiot I am. All I wanted to do when you told me that, was to just- I was just-... Just so blind. So fucking blind. I realized that I'd been in love with you this whole time. So ridiculously, obsessively in love with you that I spent three years going to the ends of the world and back just to have you by my side again."</p><p>Naruto looks back up and his cheeks are flushed, his eyes are fire.</p><p>"So no, I don't think I love you because I chased you. I chased you because I was in love with you. And I have really, <em>really</em>, thought about it. I don't know if I can do that for anyone else. I don't know if I can go through that for anyone else... I was freaked out, when I realized that... I didn't know what you felt, I didn't know what to do with myself, with us... But, hah-... I told you 'I love you,' here, in this room."</p><p>Naruto pierces him with his eyes then, and Sasuke is plunging, free-falling, drowning. The thing inside of him breaks free and it inundates him and he recognizes that <em>look</em> in Naruto's eyes. Hopelessly tender, painfully in love, and he so badly wants to drown in them.</p><p>Sasuke hears himself suck in a breath and he feels his sharingan flare to life and for a moment, all he sees is Naruto laying down, eyes closed, face resting right in front of him, and he hears a hushed whisper of "I love you." </p><p>It leaves him just as quickly as it had come, and it leaves him gasping for air. He sees Naruto step forward and reach out to him, and he puts a hand between them, telling him that he's okay. He pants and he catches his breath and he falls back into the tornado that is Naruto when he looks back up at him again.</p><p>Naruto catches his wrist and his eyes burn into Sasuke. Sasuke faintly registers Naruto's thumb brushing against the bottom of his palm when the blond forces his way onward.</p><p>"You told me then, that you've always loved me. I didn't think much about your meaning of 'always' then..."</p><p>It threatens Sasuke's already shaky breath as a memory surges through him again. He feels the words against soft warms lips, he hears his own voice, and he feels himself want, and want, and <em>need</em> more, more of Naruto; more, more, more.</p><p>It's not enough, it'll never be enough. </p><p>Naruto watches unblinkingly as Sasuke's facade crumbles until he is completely unmasked. His dark eyes stripped bare until all that is left is uncertainty and fear as he looks on helplessly at Naruto's face, his lips quivering and his breath shuddering.</p><p>"That was the day before I left for Suna. When I came back, we only had five days together left. You were scared that you wouldn't let yourself love me, you were scared that we would never be <em>us.</em>" Naruto drops Sasuke's wrist slowly, "I promised you then that I would chase you. I would not let you run away from us..."</p><p>"For a while, after your memory came back, I thought maybe I was delusional. I thought it was just a wild dream come true that you returned my feelings at all. Or even worse, that maybe I did take advantage of you without your memories."</p><p>Naruto reaches for Sasuke's cheek then, and this time, with a small flinch, Sasuke lets him cup his face, lets him brush his bangs away from his eyes, lets him run his fingers gently across his skin.</p><p>And that alone, sets Sasuke's blood on fire, it spreads from Naruto's fingertips and flows like lava into his chest and throughout his body, released from years of restraint and suppression.</p><p>"But now I know, I wasn't delusional. You can't even bring yourself to deny it," Naruto bites down a triumphant yet sheepish grin then. "I'm in love with you, Sasuke. I love you so fucking much, I don't even know what to do with it."</p><p>Sasuke's heart is in his throat now. His blood feels like electricity.</p><p>The smile leaves Naruto's lips and a wary flicker in his blue eyes takes its place.</p><p>"So tell me, why won't you let me love you? Why won't you let yourself love me?"</p><p>Sasuke's hand had found purchase in Naruto's shirt then; he grasps onto it like his lifeline, like it's the only thing that keeps him from falling. He squeezes his eyes shut from the relentless blue and when he opens them again, he is looking at where Naruto's right hand should be. He shivers in defeat and his words leave his lips in broken, heavy breaths.</p><p>"I don't want to- I'm not good for you. I <em>can't</em> lose you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The chapter got so long i just had to cut it off there :')</p><p>I have a feeling I may have gotten too ambitious and tried to explore Sakura's character and growth too and ended up with her character being a little inconsistent. I can see her having that struggle though, learning about herself and coming to terms about her her love for Sasuke. But that probably should have been explored elsewhere...?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Holy guacamole, COVID has me writing and posting chapters at 4am... (there may be more mistakes than usual in this chapter..? BUT I COULDN'T WAIT TO FINISH IT!)</p><p>I can't begin to express how grateful I am for all the kind comments and all the support I have received for Tabula Rasa. I am so excited that I am posting the last chapter. </p><p>This is my first multi-chapter story, and I am no writer (I'm literally an engineer and just DON'T write...) and this was my form of escapism in this weird period of time. It was definitely a challenge and I actually haven't had the courage to re-read my story in its entirety because I know I'd be nitpicking and cringing at all the mistakes. My grammar is shoddy and my POVs jump around, and the tone of my work is not the most consistent, but I am so incredibly thrilled and touched that so many people stuck with it and gave kudos and loved it. </p><p>I know it's trivial, but this fic has become quite important to me and I definitely do hope to keep editing and tweaking it, just for my own sense of accomplishment. The content will most likely be largely unchanged, but if you guys have head canons and suggestions and critiques, I'd love to read them in the comment section.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I don't want to- I'm not good for you. I can't lose you."</em>
</p><p>Naruto's eyes widen and he tugs Sasuke to himself so roughly that he hears Sasuke's breath get knocked out of him from the force of it. He doesn't give Sasuke a chance to catch his breath before he's gripping onto him, holding Sasuke against him like <em>he </em>is going to lose him.</p><p>Naruto hears his own breath shuddering, and he remembers the panic from the thought that Sasuke is leaving again, running away from him again. He remembers that foggy day so many years back, clutching onto Sasuke's limp body on the bridge. He remembers that snowy day, just last year, the invisible walls closing in on him at the news that Sasuke will be killed, squeezing the air out of his lungs, every breath sharp and painful and <em>not enough...</em> The thought of losing Sasuke, living without him, torn away from him...</p><p>His blood runs cold when it hits him that had he not known what he felt for Sasuke was more than platonic, had he not spent the time with Sasuke in this cabin, had he not stopped Sasuke from leaving, Sasuke would have just left. He would have just left and kept Naruto at a justifiable distance, carrying all of this alone, foolishly believing that the only way to have Naruto in his life was at a distance, too afraid of what he is capable of doing if he came too close.</p><p>He grips on to the weight against him now even firmer.</p><p>He understands.</p><p>He feels his eyes brimming from the relief of that warmth held against him right now.</p><p>"I-" Naruto says, but his teeth chatter with the weight of Sasuke's words, with the understanding of the meaning behind those words. <em>I can't lose you either. </em>He wants to say, but all that he can manage is, "Idiot," then "Bastard. Asshole." He presses Sasuke even harder against himself.</p><p>"Moron," comes Sasuke's hushed response, but Naruto feels him relax just that little bit against him, and he chuckles shakily at the automatic response. He feels Sasuke snake his arm around him until he is gripping onto Naruto's back.</p><p>"I can't breathe," Sasuke says, and makes no move to pull away, because Naruto is keeping him from breaking apart, holding him up, holding him together.</p><p>In the quiet of the cabin at night, everything is exploding in a different way for them.</p><p>Naruto holds him there for so long, that Sasuke begins to feel uncomfortable from the way he is resting against Naruto. He tries to turn his head, gives Naruto a little push, tries to break the hug. He vaguely considers how awkward things might be when they finally pull apart, but Naruto doesn't release him from his hold. Instead, the blond shuffles backwards, one step after another, pulling Sasuke with him, until the back of his leg hits the bed frame and he takes Sasuke down with him, still clutching onto him. Sasuke goes with a soft grunt onto the mattress and he feels Naruto's legs tangle with his.</p><p>"Just... let me hold you for a bit," Naruto's voice is even now, heavy, but even, and he shuffles a little until Sasuke is tucked under his chin, his breath tickling Sasuke's hair. "I'm gonna-, shit-... I just spewed my heart out... let me cringe in peace for a little bit. Time out."</p><p>Sasuke almost laughs, and it comes out in a muffled snort into Naruto's shirt, but he doesn't protest, doesn't pull away. Sasuke can hear Naruto's heartbeat from where he is, and he doesn't think he has ever been able to before. So he closes his eyes to the steady <em>badump, badump,</em> against Naruto's chest, and it soothes him from the whirlwind of emotions still running rampant in him. Sasuke's fingers close a little tighter around the fabric of Naruto's shirt.</p><p>"You're a pain in the ass," Naruto breaks their silence eventually, his voice just louder than a gravelly whisper, "You make everything so much more complicated, asshole."</p><p>Sasuke makes a noise of discontent at the back of his throat, and gives Naruto's ribs with a jab before he prepares to snap back, but Naruto never gives him the chance. The blond wraps himself around Sasuke with a vengeance and presses his face to the top of Sasuke's head.</p><p>Sasuke can feel his cheek move against his temple with every word when Naruto cuts him short.</p><p>"I love you," Naruto sighs, pressing a kiss into Sasuke's hair, "Let me love you, teme."</p><p>Sparks are shot every which way across Sasuke's chest, they light the fire in him now, where it just sent him into a panicked spiral before.</p><p>"You're starting to sound like a broken record," Sasuke grumbles, but he nuzzles his face into Naruto's chest, pressing closer to his heart.</p><p>"Better than sounding like a cranky bastard," Naruto chirps back. Sasuke can hear the smile in his voice.</p><p>"You're making a mistake," Sasuke whispers, then exhales in a short breath that sounds like a laugh, "And you were doing pretty well for an idiot, until now."</p><p>"You're not a mistake, Sasuke," Naruto responds without missing a beat, "You never were a mistake. Even an idiot knows that."</p><p>"You're going to regret it."</p><p>"I regret not knowing sooner, not telling you sooner, not holding you sooner," comes Naruto's soft, unyielding reply.</p><p>"Be reasonable," Sasuke continues unconvincingly, "I don't want to..."</p><p>Sasuke doesn't finish, again, but they both hear it all anyway.</p><p>
  <em>I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to have the power to break you. I don't want to ruin your life. I don't want to fuck things up again. I don't want this to be your mistake. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to hurt you.</em>
</p><p>"Let me love you. Nothing you say is going to stop me anyway. Let me love you, bastard."</p><p>Sasuke's teeth sink into his bottom lip from the even tone of Naruto's voice, all the more powerful for how mild it is when it leaves his lips. The storm is waning in him, and he feels the last of it threatening to spill from his eyes. He squeezes them shut and presses his forehead into Naruto's chest with a small nod, and he knows Naruto feels it.</p><p>"Didn't you already get embarrassed by the crap coming out of your mouth, you stubborn idiot?" Sasuke mutters hoarsely.</p><p>Naruto laughs then, clear and crisp, burying his face into Sasuke's hair as he shakes his head, "It's not crap, and I'll worry about that again later. So, you give in?"</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>"You're such a sore loser," Naruto chuckles breathily and brings his hand to Sasuke's hair, running it through the dark locks. "I missed this. I missed you.. I missed us."</p><p>Sasuke hears Naruto sigh, his fingertips massaging his scalp in such a way that it soothes the rest of his body and jostles his heart.</p><p>"You were... waiting for me?" Sasuke asks against Naruto's shirt. "You didn't tell me everything that happened here."</p><p>"No, I didn't," Naruto chuckles nervously, "I didn't think you could handle it. I mean, seriously, you ran from me at every opportunity, in case you forgot."</p><p>"Hn."</p><p>"I fucking practiced a thousand ways to tell you too. Then I figured it was best that I helped you, well, figure your shit out first before we moved on to us."</p><p>Sasuke feels his lips tug at his cheeks in amusement at the mental image of Naruto practicing his confessions.</p><p>"So you had that monologue earlier written in your head somewhere?"</p><p>Naruto bumps his chin against the top of Sasuke's head in retaliation against the tone of Sasuke's voice and chases it just as quickly with a kiss.</p><p>"Bits of it, yeah," Naruto murmurs against the soft dark hair, "Most of it just... well, just spilled out. I...panicked."</p><p>The reality of the situation suddenly weighs heavily on them again, the reason for all of this outburst in the first place. And they choose to lay swallowing the air thickly.</p><p>"I'm still..." Sasuke breaks their silence carefully, "I'm still going to leave Konoha, you know."</p><p>"I know," Naruto pulls back for the first time since he held him, so that he could look at Sasuke. "I know why you have to leave. I didn't tell you all this to keep you here. You know that, right?"</p><p>"I know," Sasuke ducks his head to rest his forehead against Naruto's chest, already addicted to the sound of his heart.</p><p>Of course he knows, of course Naruto would understand. It's just that now, leaving seems that much more difficult; one of the reasons that had pushed him to leave, has turned into a subtle, yet rather tempting pull to stay.</p><p>"It's not like last time," Sasuke says eventually, remembering the look on Naruto's face earlier that night, "I'll come back."</p><p>"I know," Naruto responds easily, but his grip on Sasuke says something else, and the silence that returns gnaws at the pair.</p><p>There is damage that has been done, trust that has been broken, hurt like that doesn't just go away no matter how much you wish for it. Hurt that would have to take Sasuke away again in order to begin mending. The irony isn't lost to either of them.</p><p>"...Come with me?" Sasuke asks ultimately, he's never considered it before now, asking Naruto to join him.</p><p>It had always been his journey, to relearn the world, to rediscover his purpose, to do all that he could to protect and justify the bonds that he has come to realize and accept and turn that into something bigger than himself. Naruto had been the drive, the reason to- to do better, he owes that much to him, to be better... there is no reason for Naruto to join in that trip for his own sins and yet-</p><p>Raising his head to meet those crystal clear blues, Sasuke continues, "It doesn't have to be now, or even very long. Just... I mean, you can if you want, after I spend some time alone on the road, after you do what you need to do here... you can join me."</p><p>And Naruto beams. He positively glows, eyes bright and sparkling, cheeks straining from his grin.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"You heard me. I'm not going to repeat myself."</p><p>"Teme."</p><p>"Dobe."</p><p>"So..." Naruto drawls just when the silence is growing too still, "Back to what happened here... You <em>always</em> loved me? That's not just something that amnesiac Sasuke came up with right?"</p><p>Sasuke tenses. There is a playful teasing quality to the way Naruto voices his question, all the more enhanced by the soft and rhythmic nudging of Naruto's foot against Sasuke's.</p><p>Sasuke doesn't respond, but Naruto feels his fist tighten around his shirt and he can almost <em>hear</em> Sasuke's whole body groaning.</p><p>"How long is always?" Naruto prods further, at an apparently mute statue.</p><p>"Ugh," is Sasuke's reluctant, taciturn response. "I don't know what I said back then."</p><p>Naruto laughs until Sasuke gives his shin a kick.</p><p>"Let me go, dumb ass."</p><p>"What? Hell no, you can't run from this!" Naruto grabs onto Sasuke even tighter and wraps his legs around the other boy's as the raven begins to struggle.</p><p>"I'm not running, I need to go pee," Sasuke grumbles and grabs Naruto's wrist, pulling his arm away. "Quit making this weird, dobe."</p><p>"Hey, hey! Okay, alright, geez," Naruto snaps as he scrambles to free himself from Sasuke, "I'm not making it weird, you could have just said-"</p><p>Naruto's face flushes with a nervous chuckle as his stomach makes the most timely appearance.</p><p>He grins at the way Sasuke's shoulders shake with silent, albeit mocking, laughter as Sasuke sits up and swings his legs to the floor.</p><p>"Ha, I'll be in the kitchen and see what there is to eat."</p><p>"Yeah, you do that," comes Sasuke's amused response, his black eyes glittering in the dark of the room when he looks over his shoulder.</p><p>It takes all of Naruto's willpower to stop himself from launching across the room and throwing himself around Sasuke again.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The birds are chirping.</p><p>Sasuke blinks against the rays streaming through the foliage and into his now open eyes.</p><p>He's slept undisturbed through the night for the first time in a long while, and he is looking at the possible reason as to why that is right now. Naruto's back is turned to him, his leg extended just so that it is touching Sasuke's.</p><p>They'd spent the night talking, out on the roof chewing on energy bars. Sasuke had asked about the three years... well, the three years that he was gone, and avoided any further talk of their time in the cabin. He had asked, not in such a way that it directed intimacy or intensity, but just enough that it steered Naruto's chatter and scratched at his own curiosity.</p><p>Naruto seemed aware too, at Sasuke's need to pull himself away from the trepidation of earlier conversations and confessions. It never took much for Naruto to understand Sasuke, the way his mind easily ventured into the dark, so he told stories just fitting enough that it didn't take away the light in Sasuke's eyes.</p><p>Naruto had casually and carefully reached for Sasuke's hand then, and he held onto it even when Sasuke inched his own back. He'd held Sasuke grounded to everything that he had said that night. Naruto's firm grasp a steady reminder that there is no room for doubt in Sasuke's mind- Sasuke can have his temporary space and respite from the significance of Naruto's feelings, but there is no room for denial and nowhere to run.</p><p>Sasuke slaps his hand over his face and groans over last night's cringe-worthy confessions, sitting up and kicking the bed with a leg in frustration.</p><p>Next to him, Naruto grumbles noises of awakening and opens one blue eye wearily, watching Sasuke over his shoulder.</p><p>"Do you have to be pissed off at the world first thing in the morning?" Naruto complains, his voice gruff and thick with sleep, and flips over to throw an arm across Sasuke's waist.</p><p>"Someone should be," Sasuke retorts, "There's a lot wrong with it."</p><p>"Well, you can start by fixing one thing," Naruto grumbles and pulls Sasuke down, "Shutting up and letting me sleep. It's too early."</p><p>Sasuke opens his mouth as if to argue, but he looks down at Naruto already dozing off with his head pressed against Sasuke's side, and closes his mouth instead.</p><p>The damage is done already, it's too late to run.</p><p>Against Naruto's incoherent complaints, he shuffles and lowers himself down back into the bed, jostling the blond as he went. Sasuke tucks his chin in and looks down at the head of golden hair, and hesitantly turns to drop his hand over Naruto's back, his heart beating loudly in his too-warm ears.</p><p>"Hey Sasuke," Naruto mumbles as he drifts off.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"It's nice, hm?" Naruto curls his fingers around Sasuke's shirt.</p><p>"What's nice?"</p><p>"Hearing your heartbeat."</p><p>The words spark a trail of goosebumps through Sasuke's scalp, and he is convinced he <em>stopped</em> having a heartbeat just for a moment.</p><p>Sasuke's first instinct is to flinch and shove Naruto away, so he looks down and grasps the blond's shoulder to do just that.</p><p>But Naruto is already asleep again, his chest raising and falling gently with every breath, fingers still tangled in Sasuke's shirt.</p><p>Sasuke stares, stupefied, and covers his face with his hand instead. He groans at his lack of desire to protest against his current predicament.</p><hr/><p>"Sasuke," Momentary daze flits past the ever changing canvas of Naruto's face to a questioning smile upon seeing Sasuke at his door.</p><p>"You going to invite me in?" Sasuke gestures coolly into the apartment with a flick of his chin. A picture of calm masking his internal calamity.</p><p>"Uh, yeah, come in" Naruto laughs uncertainly, a hand rubbing the back of his head, "I was just surprised to see you here. You know, without me coming for you. And since we were just together till the morning."</p><p>"Hn, I don't have to be here," Sasuke pauses in the foyer. He hadn't planned on coming to Naruto's, hadn't even thought about it... well, he had, but just for a second, he didn't dwell on it, he was only passing by Naruto's apartment so...</p><p>"Du- What? Don't be an ass about it. Damn, I was happy about it too," Naruto grumbles as he closes the door behind him.</p><p>Sasuke turns in the hallway and blinks at Naruto, before turning back around to face the room, "Oh."</p><p>Naruto stares at Sasuke as the raven clears his throat and shuffles his weight from one foot to the other in his living room, looking all around him and catching Naruto's eyes every now and then.</p><p>Nervous.</p><p>Sasuke is nervous right now. Perhaps more accurately, Sasuke doesn't know what to do right now.</p><p>Naruto feels a grin starting to form as he shakes his head.</p><p>"You look stupid, dobe," Sasuke finally says as he parks his gaze right at Naruto. "You're staring."</p><p>"Teme," Naruto grins, "Shut up, I was thinking. And don't fucking say shit about me thinking, asshole."</p><p>Sasuke snorts and he seems to loosen up just a little, "You're right, it'd be too easy."</p><p>"<em>You're</em> right, you don't have to be here," Naruto narrows his eyes.</p><p>Then he closes the space between them before Sasuke has a chance to react and elbows Sasuke in the ribs with a shit-eating grin.</p><p>"Just kidding, bastard. You gonna work for your dinner or what? That's why you're here, right?"</p><p>Sasuke gives him a deadpan look, and shoves his hand in his pocket, bottom lip jutting out as he turns his gaze to the side.</p><p>"Yeah, sure,“ he says, as if he is doing Naruto a favor after careful consideration.</p><p>Naruto just laughs.</p><p>"Hey Sasuke," Naruto looks behind his shoulder as he walks into the kitchen, waiting for Sasuke's eyes to be on him before he spoke again...</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>The reaction from Sasuke is like a lightning strike. Sasuke freezes in his step and Naruto is almost certain his hair is standing up like a cat under attack. His mouth opens and closes, and thins into a line as his eyes flick around apprehensively.</p><p>It only brings another small laugh from Naruto's lips when he meets Naruto's eyes again with a mask of disgruntlement.</p><p>"I know," Sasuke's voice cracks deep and low, "You don't have to keep reminding me."</p><p>"I don't," Naruto smiles as he hands some items from his fridge over to Sasuke, he straightens up and pierces Sasuke with his eyes, "But I want to."</p><p>The air about them stills, not dissimilar to the way it stills before the first attack is thrown in a battle, and Naruto holds Sasuke's gaze as if in a challenge.</p><p>Then Sasuke swallows, and blue eyes flicker to the way the Adam's apple bobs against the pale column of Sasuke's neck. Sasuke turns then, at Naruto's distraction, freed from the unyielding blue, and places the items on the counter, and everything else falls back in place.</p><p> </p><p>They ended up watching a movie again, much like last time. However, unlike last time, Sasuke is awake this time.</p><p>Awake, and acutely aware of each passing minute ticking away later and later into the evening.</p><p>"It's getting pretty late," Sasuke announces after the credits have rolled out and rises from the couch, "I should go."</p><p>"Ah, yeah..." Naruto mumbles and straightens himself up, "I'll, uh, walk you out."</p><p>The wave of nostalgia is so surreal, and Sasuke snaps his head towards Naruto only to find the blond already staring in startled surprise. Sasuke watches, in the silent moments that follow, as the surprise in those brilliant blues shift into something else entirely.</p><p>"Stay," Naruto commands, because that is what it sounds like, a command.</p><p>Sasuke's eyebrows rise to his forehead. He watches Naruto scramble to his feet, barge into his personal space, and grip onto his wrist.</p><p>Naruto looks right back at him, his eyes a desperate storm that sends Sasuke's mind and heart into turmoil.</p><p>It is a look Sasuke wants to wipe off of that overly expressive face and never see again.</p><p>He doesn't have time to think before he grabs Naruto by the hand and tugs him over and down onto the bed. He can't see that anguished look on Naruto's face from where he lays, tightly holding Naruto to himself.</p><p>He doesn't have time to think how comfortable it is to hold Naruto's warm weight against himself before the idiot is pushing and shoving against him until he is hovering over Sasuke.</p><p>Sasuke sees it coming just as he saw the hug coming, and he doesn't move away.</p><p>Naruto kisses him.</p><p>Hungry, needy, forceful presses of his lips against Sasuke's.</p><p>He's done this before, Sasuke is distantly aware of thinking as his own lips start to move against Naruto's. </p><p>It is intoxicating. It's exhilarating. Breathtaking.</p><p>Then Naruto moves away, and he is panting, his skin is flushed and his eyes are glazed, fixated on and flickering between black eyes.</p><p>Sasuke stares, catching his own breath, hopelessly entranced by the sight in front of him. His mind nothing but a blank canvas, flaring brightly, throbbing against his impossibly accelerated heartbeat.</p><p>He watches as Naruto's eyes shift to glance down at his lips. He doesn't have time to blink before Naruto is kissing him again.</p><p>Slower, more deliberate. Sasuke feels Naruto's tongue running across his lips, he feels himself knowing how to respond again, so he does.</p><p>Every pull of their lips is a prayer, every slide a praise. Every breath they take together is a fucking blessing.</p><p>"I love you," Naruto breathes when they pull apart again, and he repeats it over and over, "I love you. Sasuke, I love you. I love you."</p><p>Sasuke feels his heart ache and break and put together again with every fevered breath Naruto takes.</p><p>He can't lose this. He doesn't know if he can survive if he loses this. He won't survive if he loses this.</p><hr/><p>Naruto has known, for the most part, that laying his heart out to Sasuke probably isn't going to <em>fix</em> Sasuke.</p><p>Sure, he had hoped.</p><p>That <em>tiny </em>little part of him had hoped that <em>he</em> is the solution to all of Sasuke's problems, but he isn't twelve any more, he knows where to draw the line between hope and delusion.</p><p>That being said, Naruto does have hope.</p><p>It comes in the backdrop of Sasuke's plague of guilt, in small bits and pieces. It comes much, <em>much </em>slower than Naruto would have liked, for he has had a taste of that tangible intimacy, a memory of a future that he hopes to reach.</p><p>He has hope, and it comes in the little things like the slowing of Sasuke's step he sees Naruto on the street so the blond could catch up and walk with him. It comes with the nights that Sasuke chooses to spend idly with Naruto. It comes with the hesitant kisses and the way Sasuke holds onto Naruto when they are alone in bed... and he clings onto Naruto as if he is the last and only thing that matters to Sasuke, as if he wants to share his soul with Naruto...</p><p>He has hope, and it comes from the fact that Sasuke hasn't left Konoha yet, not yet. Not the day after they get back from the cabin, or the day after that, or the day after that one... But this is where Naruto draws the line between hope and delusion. It hurts him just as it would hurt anyone when the person they love has to leave, but he knows Sasuke has to go.</p><p>"Sasuke!" Naruto yells cheerfully as Sasuke exits the Hokage building.</p><p>The corner of Sasuke's lips turn up to a small lopsided smile as his falls in step with Naruto.</p><p>"You done handing everything off now?" Naruto asks as he leads the way.</p><p>"Yeah, Shikamaru has everything I've finished working on," Sasuke responds easily, if not cautiously. It doesn't need to be said, that the hand-off is in preparation for his departure.</p><p>"That's great," Naruto nudges his best friend agreeably, content in ignoring the issue of Sasuke's impending departure for now, "Sakura-chan's at the hospital. Let's go get her for dinner at Ichiraku's, just like old times."</p><p>"Hn," comes Sasuke's trademark, non-committal response.</p><p>But it comes a little slower than usual, and Naruto turns just in time to catch Sasuke's eyes looking away.</p><p>"You're going to choke to death on ramen one day," Sasuke says, and Naruto allows it to distract him.</p><p>"You're going to choke to death on that stick up your ass one day," Naruto counters in his next breath.</p><p>When they finally meet up with Sakura, they had fallen into their routine of rather effortless bickering that has become almost a farce at this point.</p><p>Sasuke lets Sakura fill in for his silence as the original team seven makes their way to Ichiraku's. He observes with a sense of satisfaction his teammates' energetic antics and boisterous opinions. If he squinted, he could probably see them as twelve-year-olds again.</p><p>Just like old times.</p><p>They walk by the road that leads all the travelers out the village, and Sasuke sees that the bench is still there, albeit a new one. The bench where he left Sakura on, all these years ago, and his step falters just as his heart does.</p><p>It is only for a moment, and he is in stride with his teammates again, where Sakura and Naruto are still talking without a missing a beat. And Sasuke doesn't notice the look that they exchange with each other.</p><p>Naruto wants him to go, more than he needs him to stay. He understands more than anyone that Sasuke needs to find himself again. He can see it in Sasuke's eyes, every time he walks the streets with the last Uchiha.</p><p>It's not the people that Sasuke is afraid of. It is not their wary glances and evident avoidance that Sasuke wants to run from.</p><p>Naruto can see how the ghosts haunt Sasuke everywhere he goes, how the streets remind Sasuke of betrayal, of his own and of his village. Naruto knows the anguish that the village can bring upon a child. He knows the truth of the village that placed a blade in the hands of a child and passed an ultimatum on the lives of an entire clan of people, and two brothers too young to have their childhoods-, their lives-... just too young, too cruel even for words... That burden alone must be crippling.</p><p>Naruto doesn't miss the guilt and anguish weighing so heavily in Sasuke's eyes when they cross their childhood haunts either, just like now.</p><p>When they arrive at Ichiraku's, Teuchi and Ayame greets them as if they are all regulars.</p><p>"I'm starting with three miso-ramen!"</p><p>"Geez Naruto, that's a disgusting amount of food," Sakura makes a face as she settles in her seat, "We all know you're not stopping there, too."</p><p>"There's nothing wrong with that! I'm still a growing man, you know! Right, Sasuke?" Naruto whines for vindication and turns to Sasuke with a pout.</p><p>The subject in question raises a single brow, places his appropriately portioned order then turns to his blond teammate with a smirk, "Don't lump me in with you, dumb-ass."</p><p>The calm retort has Naruto spluttering in defense of his honor, and the nostalgia of it breaks Sakura into a laughter that eventually even spreads to a faintly smiling Sasuke.</p><p>Sasuke stays, for now, and Naruto is not delusional.</p><p>Naruto is hopeful that Sasuke is staying because he is now relinquishing some of that guilt he holds over his betrayal of Sakura and himself. Naruto is hopeful that Sasuke finds some reprieve from his own damnation when he holds onto Naruto at night.</p><p>But he is not delusional to hope that Sasuke will stay.</p><p>Not when he is scrambling for the broken pieces of himself where he was so thoroughly broken.</p><hr/><p>It happens on a normal day, completely out of the blue, not even two weeks after Sasuke had planned to leave.</p><p>Sasuke is meeting Naruto at a training ground. Naruto had wanted to do some target practice with his non-dominant-, now his only arm.</p><p>By the time Sasuke arrived, Naruto is already well into handling his weapons. Sasuke watches as Naruto throws the kunai in his hands to hit the shuriken already in the air, easily and accurately changing their trajectories to land on his intended targets. </p><p>Sasuke doesn't know why or how or what about that moment in time that does it...</p><p>He sees, in slow motion, Naruto straighten out from picking up his kunai, the flittering rays of sun from the foliage blend iridescently into his hair, softening the lines of his face as he turns to smile at Sasuke...</p><p>It is as if a dam suddenly collapsed within him. It hits him like all the times he has been pummeled by his grief in the past, unexpected, unwanted, uncontainable.</p><p>The tears come first, silently. Then the shaking. By the time Naruto is in front of him, he just had enough time to catch Sasuke as he fell to his knees, the sobs racking his body.</p><p>It wasn't quiet like the last time Naruto saw his tears, in the valley after their fight.</p><p>This time, Naruto does not turn away to give Sasuke his space.</p><p>This time, Naruto clutches onto Sasuke as he falls apart and breaks down and crumples into himself.</p><p>"Thank you for staying," Naruto presses his cheek against Sasuke's head, "But it's okay if you have to leave."</p><hr/><p>"Hold on," Naruto grabs onto Sasuke's hand and tugs him back gently, he reaches for Sasuke's face and holds his hand there.</p><p>Sasuke blinks at the intensity of Naruto's gentle gaze, his eyes heavier than his touch on his cheek, the same touch that brushes across his shuttered eye.</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>The smile that plays so tenderly across Naruto's lips sends Sasuke's heart fluttering.</p><p>"Just one last look," Naruto answers in a tone that Sasuke still hasn't grown used to in their moments of quiet. "I didn't see these eyes in three years... and I can't see them again."</p><p>Sasuke flinches then, like Naruto has reached inside of him and gave his heart a tug and a squeeze. His words had always hit harder than any of his punches.</p><p>Sasuke's reaction seems to snap Naruto out of a reverie he didn't even know he was in, and his hand retreats from Sasuke's face into his blond hair. </p><p>"Ah, sorry," Naruto chuckles awkwardly, "I know, I know, you get weirded out when I say shit like this... I just can't help it."</p><p>And Sasuke can't help but step forward and stick his fingers through the blond hair and press his lips against Naruto's. A new found ability to do that still a thrill that sets his veins on fire. Something melts in Sasuke so gently when he opens his eyes just to find Naruto's still closed right before he pulls away.</p><p>"That's fine," Sasuke offers a small, nonchalant, smile, "One last look."</p><p>Naruto's face glows then, and his eyes drop into that tender <em>look</em>. He runs his fingers across under the onyx eye and presses his lips on Sasuke's cheek, then by the corner of his eye, and finally, on the eyelid underneath which the rinnegan will return. Naruto places their foreheads together, and nuzzles his nose against Sasuke's, pressing another kiss to his lips.</p><p>"Alright then," Naruto smiles, "I'll see you when you're asymmetrical again, or well, more asymmetrical than now."</p><p>Which is just as well, because that is just about when Tsunade became impatient.</p><p>"Alright, lover boys," She mouths with her head stuck out by the door frame, "Get a move on."</p><p>Sasuke snorts and rolls his eyes at Naruto's undignified flush, body poised to snap back at the medic.</p><p>"I'll see you then," He turns before Naruto has the wits to direct his protest at the Fifth Hokage, and enters the room.</p><p>Tsunade is scrutinizing his every move as he lays himself down on the operating table, and he regards her, with a horrible realization, just as prey would regard their predator. Sasuke supposes if nothing else, he does have a healthy dose of respect for this woman.</p><p>"You know how I feel about you," Tsunade glowers down at the Uchiha, cold and hard, no love lost for the man.</p><p>"Can't possibly be worse than how I feel about myself," Sasuke returns effortlessly, and watches as some warmth bleeds into her previously icy gaze.</p><p>She holds his stare for just a moment longer, the lines on her face softening, "Don't fuck up again, Uchiha Sasuke."</p><p>Then she is moving to cover his eyes, returning the rinnegan to him.</p><hr/><p>"Alright Sasuke," Kakashi's eyes pull into a smile as he regards his protege at the gates of Konoha, "Please don't get too reckless. Otherwise, I'll be held responsible."</p><p>"Understood, thank you."</p><p>"I guess you still have to go, huh," Sakura presses her lips together as she gives Sasuke a knowing look.</p><p>"There are things that can't be seen unless I do this," Sasuke shifts his eyes to his friend, "I need time to understand my feelings. How I should view the shinobi world, this world. Perhaps I'll be able to see things I couldn't see before."</p><p>"Maybe next time, we can join you, Sasuke-kun," Sakura ducks her head in a nod and smiles.</p><p>"Next time," Sasuke agrees and reaches for Sakura's shoulder, he gives it a squeeze as he turns to leave, "When I am no longer shackled by my sins. Thank you, Sakura."</p><p>Sasuke did not have to walk long before he found Naruto, waiting for him, quietly watching the sky, just far enough from the village that they could be alone. His heart does its little dance out of its regular cadence as it does every time Naruto locks eyes with him. Those blue eyes watch him with that look that is only for him as he approaches the smiling blond.</p><p>"I thought you already saw me off this morning," Sasuke says as he stops in front of Naruto with a small smile of his own.</p><p>Naruto responds by extending his arm, showing Sasuke the item he has been holding on to, "Here, I'm returning this."</p><p>Sasuke looks down at the hitai-ate in Naruto's hand, and over to the sleeve flapping in the wind where Naruto lost his arm for him.</p><p>"You kept it," Sasuke stares into those crystal clear blues that are his salvation, "All this time."</p><p>Naruto grins with a fire in his eyes, and nudges the hitai-ate towards Sasuke, "I kept a promise, to bring you back, and to share your pain."</p><p>"I'll hang on to it," Sasuke takes it from Naruto and tucks it away, feeling a pressure build behind his eyes and nose.</p><p>"I'll see you in a few months," Naruto says and his eyes soften and he steps just a little into Sasuke's personal space, "Time to go fix things, Sasuke."</p><p>"Thank you," Sasuke murmurs as he presses his forehead against Naruto's, his hand reaching into the golden locks, "For saving me. For sharing my pain."</p><p>Naruto's hand is on Sasuke's cheek, and his thumb runs back and forth on the skin softly.</p><p>"Of course," Naruto whispers, because there is a lump in his throat, and he swallows it with the memory of that night on the roof where Sasuke thanked him, where he realized- "I love you."</p><p>Sasuke presses their lips together, presses everything against Naruto's mouth.</p><p>Naruto can feel the feather light touches against his lips when they pull apart as Sasuke breathes, "You are my home."</p><hr/><p>~ Epilogue ~</p><p>Sasuke can feel him coming, his chakra signature getting closer, stronger by the second. It is effortlessly in sync with his heartbeat, fluttering faster and stronger by the second. Then he hears him call his name, like it takes the breath out of him.</p><p>"Sasuke," Naruto looks up at the figure on the tree branch, his heart soaring from something other than his hurried journey here.</p><p>Naruto takes in all of that is in front of him as he catches his breath. It's been five months since they've seen each other.</p><p>And the more that he sees, the more his breath seems to fail him.</p><p>Naruto is hit with a sense of deja vu, of a memory years ago, when he first laid eyes on Sasuke for the first time after a much younger boy left him at the Valley of the End.</p><p>His black hair is longer, swaying elegantly in the wind, intermittently concealing a flawless complexion and a legendary rinnegan. His stance still powerful, demanding a second glance from everyone who crosses his path if they did not do so already because of his perfect face. But his eyes-</p><p>Just like last time, and it rings a dull ache in Naruto's chest, Sasuke closes their distance in a blink of an eye. But this time, he stands in front of Naruto, his hand resting on a tanned cheek, and his eyes- His eyes hold a softness Naruto doesn't remember. They are still tired in their depths, heavy in what they have witnessed, but there is a tenderness that makes Naruto choke on his own breath.</p><p>"Naruto."</p><p>His voice deep and throaty and it sounds like how his eyes look.</p><p>Those mismatched eyes are now taking in Naruto's new arm, and a tension that Naruto was not aware Sasuke was holding onto is released from the way those same eyes seem to lighten in relief.</p><p>Then they are studying Naruto's face again, questioning, and still achingly soft, glancing down at Naruto's lips as if in question, as if he'd be pushed away... As if Naruto could ever stop loving him.</p><p>God, as if that is possible. With the way he looks right now, with the way he is looking at Naruto right now. Sasuke is... he is simply... just... beautif-</p><p>And Naruto surges forward until his lips catch ones that he has so desperately missed in the past five months, that he has dreamed about kissing in the past five months. His hands find Sasuke's waist and his hair and he pulls the raven to himself and they fall back into their familiar dance- lips sliding against each other in an earnest effort of reacquaintance, hungrily searching for what had left them feeling incomplete.</p><p>"I missed you so much," escapes Naruto in a hushed breath against Sasuke's lips, "I'm sorry it took so long."</p><p>He doesn't let Sasuke respond, he only chases when Sasuke pulls back, and he corners him with his mouth again and again.</p><p>How could this ever be enough...</p><p>Then Sasuke is pushing against him, more insistently, and Naruto hears what is music to his ears. Sasuke is chuckling softly, and Naruto leans back just to watch, just to see those preciously familiar eyes looking at him with that foreign <em>softness.</em></p><p>Naruto smiles back, his own laughter bubbling up from his chest, but not quite reaching his lips. And his chest... swells, and it swells and swells until it bursts and overflows. He chokes on the lump that forms in his throat, and he throws himself into Sasuke and buries his eyes into that pale neck and just lets it... spill.</p><p>He doesn't remember the last time he has cried from being so purely, <em>heart-achingly,</em> overjoyed.</p><p>"Dobe," Sasuke has the audacity to say, "The fuck are you being so dramatic for?"</p><p>Naruto doesn't bite back this time, because he can feel Sasuke's hand in his hair, he can feel his fingers running across his scalp, he can feel that same hand on his back and pulling him closer.</p><p>"Tadaima," Sasuke says so softly that it may as well have been the sound of the leaves rustling around them.</p><p>Naruto laughs then, clear as wind-chimes on a summer day, because he hears him all the same. He holds Sasuke tighter, relishing in the existence of his new arm that enables him to do just that...</p><p>"Tadaima," Naruto repeats, and he laughs, because he is home too.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Early next morning, Naruto makes his way back to the bed from the bathroom and settles down by the still sleeping Uchiha.</p><p>His heart blooms softly at the sight of the peaceful face, silk black hair fanned over his flawless cheeks and across his closed eyes. Naruto's gaze drops to trace the exposed expanse of pale skin across Sasuke's neck, his collar bones, his shoulders, his arm, and just a portion of his chest, deliciously uncovered by the blanket. </p><p>Naruto's. All of it. His- to touch, to hold, to love.</p><p>Naruto's chest swells at that thought and his lips pull into a proud smile. As if prodded awake by Naruto's almost palpable sense of euphoria, an onyx eye opens and finds sparkling blues studying him.</p><p>"Morning, gorgeous."</p><p>Sasuke scrunches his nose and makes a face at the pet name. He lazily rolls over away from the too bright presence threatening his sleep, and shuffles closer to the source of warmth all the same.</p><p>Naruto chuckles at his lover's grumbling reaction and bends down to kiss the corner of Sasuke's now closed eye and peppers more down his cheek and then his jaw, landing the last one by the upturned edge of Sasuke's lips.</p><p>"You woke me," Sasuke mumbles in questionable discontent, "And you're keeping me awake."</p><p>"Yes, yes," Naruto offers gently as he sinks into the bed, pulling Sasuke's back against his bare chest and wrapping his arm across Sasuke's torso. He kisses the warm nape in front of his lips, "Sorry about that, got distracted by how good you look."</p><p>Sasuke grunts and gives Naruto's shin a kick with his heel, "Gross."</p><p>"Ouch, jerk," Naruto laughs, shifting to look at a blushing Sasuke, eyes closed in an effort to stay asleep, brows knitted in embarrassment, burning it into his mind. "It's true. You're fucking gorgeous... How are you doing? Do you hurt?"</p><p>"Idiot, do <em>you</em> hurt?" Sasuke snaps without bite, the tips of his ears turning red. "Shut up and let me sleep."</p><p>"Okay, alright. Prickly bastard," Naruto kisses the smooth shoulder this time and settles down behind Sasuke with another laugh. "I love you so much, Sasuke."</p><p>It still hasn't gotten old yet, and it probably never will. Sasuke's heart stumbles every time he hears those words from his lover, and he smiles softly to himself.</p><p>He finds Naruto's hand and brushes his own fingers against it, Naruto grabs onto his fingers and intertwines them. Sasuke gives their hands a squeeze.</p><p>His body is warm and enveloped securely in Naruto's firm hold. Their legs are tangled thoughtlessly. The back of his neck is hot where Naruto's breath hits it, tickled by Naruto's lips and shoots chills down his spine when he speaks. Sasuke's heart is fluttering comfortably out of rhythm in his chest and he sinks naturally into Naruto's arms. </p><p>This is what it's like to be loved by Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke thinks absently.</p><p>Sasuke smiles and squeezes their hands again, "I love you too. Always."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I actually tried to follow OG Kishi as much as possible for Sasuke's departure, hope y'all liked the tweaks haha. I feel like I copped out a little with Sasuke's personal journey, but if I'm going to be real about it, he is still a work in progress. That's not saying that Sasuke is any more damaged than the next person (but let's be real, he so is) because everyone and their mothers are works in progress... I suspect Sasuke's journeys has allowed him to cross paths with, and offer help to, many people; and that has helped him in forgiving himself and some of his past sins. Now Naruto is there next to him and you best believe our Nanadaime is there to support him through whatever hurdles Sasuke needs to clear next.</p><p>Thank you all so much for sticking with this, I hope this fic provided at least some good entertainment value away from what is happening in this world right now.<br/>Stay safe and stay healthy, everyone!</p>
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